Page 29 of Blood Day (Blood Alliance #7)

Lily

Master Cedric’s lips lightly touched mine, sending a shiver through my being.

This was another trick. A game I didn’t know how to play. Yet his words lulled me into a soothing state, my entire being shuddering beneath the sudden change from tensed to relaxed.

It was as though he’d enchanted me with a few softly spoken statements.

I knew better than to accept them.

But some broken part of me wanted them to be real. To believe him. To trust him.

An insane notion.

A lethal one.

Yet I had nothing to lose. He’d already outlined my fate. Why not indulge and take advantage of this small offering? Perhaps it would be enough to fill my dreams at night.

Or maybe it would become the worst kind of torture.

A beautiful torment to haunt my dark future.

Was it worth the risk ?

Should I ignore the offer?

Did he even mean it?

Maybe this was all just a way to use my yearnings against me. Should I give him that playing hand?

“Tell me what you want, Lily,” he whispered against my mouth, his fingers still combing through my hair. “Tell me how to make this up to you.”

I frowned. His words sounded almost apologetic. But why? Because he felt bad for telling me about the moon chase?

It hadn’t been the news I’d desired to hear.

However, I preferred to know the truth, even though it hurt.

Just like I wanted his truth now. “Why are you doing this to me?” I asked, my voice a rasp of sound beneath the streaming water. “Why did you choose me for this game?”

I wanted to at least understand that part. Not that I could change it. Not that it would help me in the future. But I had to know.

“Why do you enjoy torturing me?” I whispered. “Was it a mistake I made? Something I said? Because of my inferior fighting skills?” Now that I had started speaking, I couldn’t seem to stop. “Is that why you torment me? Or is it because I asked for help?”

I stilled as that question left my lips.

“That’s it, isn’t it? This is all because I broke decorum and asked for guidance.” The words were more for me than for him, my mind finally understanding where I’d gone wrong.

Of course it was that error in judgment.

I knew better than to question a Master.

Yet I’d done it anyway.

And now I was paying for the mistake.

“That’s why I’m going to the moon chase,” I breathed. “ A punishment for questioning your authority. When all I wanted was to understand why you kept failing me.”

I felt numb. Cold. Frozen in place.

“I’d ask you to kill me, but you won’t.” The words were barely audible. “You want me to suffer. You enjoy it.” A tear escaped the edge of my closed eye. “I hate you, Master Cedric. I hate that you’ve done this to me. And I hate that, despite it all, I still crave more.”

My heart shattered in my chest, a fragile part of me breaking beneath the weight of these revelations.

All I wanted was to curl into a ball.

And die.

But he wouldn’t allow it.

He’d force me to feel. Play with me until he grew bored. And leave me to my fate.

“Just do whatever you want,” I said, my voice brittle. “I won’t fight you. I won’t even question you. This shower isn’t for me; it’s for you. So let’s skip the part where you inspire false hope, and go straight to what you truly want.”

I opened my eyes to meet his tumultuous gaze.

“Do you want to test me again? My oral skills have improved. Shall I show you?” My voice sounded dead to my ears. But maybe that was what he wanted— a dried-up flower.

His expression gave nothing away, his dark eyes dancing over my features as his grip tightened against my hip. “Do you want to know why I kept failing you?” His voice held an edge to it that reminded me of jagged ice.

“Does it matter?” I countered. “You’ll fail me regardless of how I perform. I could be perfect and you’ll still fail me.”

“You are perfect,” he bit back. “That’s why I kept failing you, Lily.

To urge you down a different path. Because I saw where this one was heading.

Yet you defied me and kept pushing, and now you’re going to the moon chase, where the lycans are going to fucking rip you apart. Do you think that pleases me?”

“Yes,” I answered without even needing to think it through. “You’ve been torturing me since the beginning. You’ll enjoy watching the end, too.”

He snorted. “You’ve misunderstood everything I’ve given you.”

My eyebrows rose. “And what have you given me, Master Cedric? A name that you took away? A glimmer of hope that you also took away? Negative feedback about my fighting abilities? A negative grade for sexual skills you didn’t even give me a real opportunity to perform?”

My breath came out in a pant, heat rising to my cheeks as my heart thundered in my chest.

“Or are you talking about your blood?” I continued. “Blood you used to heal me so you could break me again, right?”

His fingers fisted my hair, his grip bruising my hip. “Do you know where sexually skilled humans with fighting spirits go after Blood Day?”

“Moon chase,” I hissed, aware of that knowledge because he’d blatantly spelled it out for me.

“So why do you think I failed you in both of those areas, Lily?” His gaze darkened. “To deter you from heading down that path. Yet you ran headfirst for it the moment I left. And why? To prove me wrong?”

“To see you again,” I bit back. “I wanted a chance to show you that you were wrong about me. But you weren’t there. So I took the next class and the next, hoping for the opportunity to demonstrate my improvements.” Because I was a sad, pathetic human with an idiotic infatuation with a Master.

He glowered. “You want to demonstrate your improvements now? Let me fuck you in the ass against that shower wall, just to see if you can take a vampire cock the same way you could a human one?”

“If that’s what it takes, then yes,” I snapped, entirely lost and confused as to how the conversation had come to this point. I couldn’t even remember what he’d said to make me start talking. But I was so angry at him for failing me. For driving me to such extremes just to prove him wrong.

“You’re a stubborn little brat,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“I failed you because I wanted to make your inevitable death as peaceful as possible. You don’t meet the physical requirements for a Vigil.

You’re not marked as eligible for the Immortal Cup.

And you were on the fast track for going to a harem.

So I tried to push you down a different path toward servitude instead, hoping you would end up somewhere less violent.

But now you’re a prime moon chase candidate. ”

He released me so suddenly that I almost fell.

“I didn’t check your records while I was gone because there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to help you.” He faced the wall and slammed his palms against the tiles so hard that I jumped. “And now there’s little I can do to fix this.”

I gaped at his back, all of his statements slamming into me with the ferocity of a stun gun.

“I could kill you,” he continued, his fingers curling against the marble wall. “I should kill you. That would be the kind solution.”

He faced me once more, his expression sending a chill down my spine as he reached for me again. I took a step backward on instinct, but his palm curled around my nape and pulled me forward.

“But I can’t,” he whispered, his gaze falling to my mouth.

“I can’t kill you, Lily. The very notion of it sends me into a blind rage.

You’ve become my obsession. Everything I’ve done these last few months has been in an effort to return to you before Blood Day.

To see you one last time. To touch you.” He shook his head.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Lily. I want to give you life.

To make you bloom. Provide you with enough memories to last an eternity. ”

I stopped breathing, the intensity in his words and expression rendering me speechless.

This was all likely another manipulation, a way to break me irrevocably.

But it felt so incredibly real.

“I’m too selfish to kill you, Lily.” He walked me backward until my shoulder blades hit the wall. Then he pinned me there with his hips as his hands cupped my cheeks. “Ask me for anything else, and it’s yours. But please don’t ask me for death.”