Page 19

NINETEEN

ROSALIE

“ H ow have you been transitioning?” Gloria asked as we walked down the seemingly never-ending hallway.

My throat was tight with anxiety. Since I started coming here, my highlights had always been seeing Alex, but now the mere thought of looking into his eyes sent a current of dread spiraling through me. I wasn’t the same person I’d been two months ago. The old me wouldn’t have even contemplated suicide. The old me wouldn’t have allowed strangers to touch her, regardless of how good it felt. The old me wouldn’t be surrounded by darkness or terrified of falling asleep. The nightmares were brutal, and they never went away.

I was looking forward to visiting with my mom, though. It had been two weeks since I’d seen her, and despite our relationship being strained, I did want to know how she was holding up. She didn’t only lose Daisy that night. Even if I couldn’t understand why she cared for Gentry so much, she still did.

“Fine,” I replied as we turned the corner, spilling out onto the hall that held the visitation room.

Gloria glanced at me with skepticism. “You’re sure? It’s not weak to admit you’re struggling.”

We stopped outside the door. “Isn’t it?”

Since I came here people have told me how easy of a target being weak made you. They could sense fear like snakes. I might not have been strong, but everyone didn’t need to know that. I’d fake it until I made it.

Before she could reply, I pulled the door open and stepped inside. Confusion twisted my features as I glanced around the room, my gaze skimming over the multitude of people littering the tables.

Why did Gloria bring me here if no one was here to see me?

My stomach bottomed out and humiliation settled within me. Sighing, I turned back to the door, ready to just head back to my room and be done with the day already. But the sound of my name rolling off an unfamiliar tongue had my spine straightening. Furrowing my eyebrows, I did another sweep around the room, trying to figure out who had called for me—who had come to see me.

My first thought was our neighbor, Ruby, or her daughter. But we weren’t that close to them, and after what happened at my family home, I knew they’d probably paint me as some kind of heartless criminal who had a psychotic break. Hell, maybe that was what happened. My mind was foggy surrounding the events that took place that night.

A girl seated at the table next to Seven’s caught my attention. She shot me a hesitant smile, waving her hand in the air to grab my attention.

She was beautiful. Long, silky brown hair that shone beneath the bright lighting and olive skin with dark green eyes. My eyes danced over her, snagging on the dark blue hoodie she wore with the words Northbrook University plastered on the front. So, we obviously went to the same college, but I’d never seen her before in my life.

Reluctantly, I crossed the room and dropped into the seat adjacent to her. It was bad enough that my neighbors probably knew where I was, but for people from my school, too…that was a lot to take in.

“You’re prettier than I expected,” she complimented, though it seemed painful for her to do so if the wince was anything to go by.

My fingers curled into my palms where they rested on my lap. “Who are you?” I asked, looking around the room again for any sign of Alex or my mom.

She sighed, the polite smile dropping from her face. “Straight to the point, then, huh?” She shifted uncomfortably, her demeanor putting me on edge. “My name is Ava Long. We went to college together.” She swallowed thickly, meeting my gaze again.

“Why are you here?”

“Look,” she began with a sigh, bracing her forearms on the table between us. “I don’t know how else to say this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. I’m sorry if the direct approach is too much, but I did come here for a reason.”

My heart thundered against my chest cavity, knowing that whatever she was about to say, I probably wouldn’t like. It was a gut feeling. Like when you felt deep into your core that something bad was about to happen only to be proven right later on.

It wasn’t like I could just run away and choose to stay ignorant. She already had her claws in me, and I was curious.

When I didn’t say anything, she continued. “I don’t have much time. He’s on his way, but I swear I didn’t even know you existed until I followed him to your dorm.”

Oh God.

She wasn’t about to tell me what I was expecting her to say. There was no way he’d do that to me. But the fact that she knew about me, knew where I was, that was confirmation enough. Now all I needed was the confession.

She reached across the table, holding out her hand. My eyes dropped to her blue acrylic nails that were sharpened into points and against my better judgement, I slid my hand in hers. If she was about to say what I thought she was, touching her might just keep me from losing my mind. Doubtful, but maybe.

“I’ve been seeing Alex for the last year,” she admitted with an apologetic look in her eye.

It felt like the air had been knocked from my lungs. My stomach coiled with disgust, betrayal, and a raw, agonizing pain. “Like…dating?” I whispered.

She winced, her gaze dropping to the table before meeting mine again. “Just sex. He told me he didn’t date, and he was always sneaking off. So, I followed him to your room one day. All the evidence was there.”

“Just sex,” I whispered.

He wouldn’t have sex with me, but he’d do it with another girl? My fingers slipped from around hers and she didn’t protest, probably knowing better than to antagonize a psych patient.

Ava glanced at her watch and grimaced. “He’s probably almost here by now. I’m sorry. I really didn’t know, and I hate that I have to drop this on you just to leave.”

“Do you have proof?”

Her head fell forward, hair brushing the tabletop with the movement. “I was afraid you were going to ask. I do, but it’s…graphic.”

My heart was racing, and my palms were sweating, but I needed this. Just in case he tried to weasel his way out of it somehow, and I was dumb enough to fall for it. With cold, hard proof, I’d know for certain, and he wouldn’t be able to gaslight me.

I straightened in my seat, schooling my features the best I could. No one needed to see me break right now. Not here, not in front of Seven of all people, and not over someone who might have cheated on me for over a year.

“Show me.”

She sighed and tugged her expensive looking phone out of her pocket. Her fake nails tapped across the screen as she scrolled and hit icons. When she found what she was looking for, she placed the phone down on the table and slid it toward me.

“Don’t turn the sound up,” she said quickly, a small flush coating her cheeks.

But I wanted to hear it. I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of all these people, though. She wasn’t at fault. She owed me no loyalty, and she didn’t even know I existed before now.

“Headphones?” I asked, refusing to look at the screen until I was ready to watch it.

She heaved a sigh and grabbed her purse from where it sat at her feet, pulling it into her lap. Items rustled around the bag as she searched. Once she was done, she slid those over to me, too.

I pulled the wireless headphones from the box it was in and placed them in my ears, satisfied when they connected immediately.

Taking her phone in my hands, I attempted to calm my racing heart by taking deeper, steadier breaths. And then I hit play.

By the positioning of the camera, I could tell it was a room cam. If Alex went to these lengths to keep it a secret, he never would have allowed anyone to film him like this. The room was large with a California King bed in the center. This wasn’t a dorm room. This was either a room in one of the sorority houses or one at her own house.

The sound of a door closing reached my ears through the headphones and the two of them walked inside. As soon as they were in view of the camera, she turned to him with a wide smile, staring at him like he hung the moon. I had to remind myself that she didn’t know he had a girlfriend. She’d simply just fallen under his spell like I had. He grinned back, no sign of guilt on his face at all. She dropped her purse on the floor, the same one she had with her now, and threw her arms around his neck. Even when he held her against him and kissed her fiercely, I didn’t stop watching.

My hands trembled as their passionate make out session grew more intense. His lips dropped to her neck. I could tell it was dark out. My eyes drifted to the bottom of the screen as their sloppy kisses drifted through my ears. My heart stuttered, bile rising to the back of my throat.

Valentine’s Day. This was only a handful of months ago. Right after he left me for trying to throw myself at him. He said he was taking a drive.

A drive right into her pussy.

Unease coiled around me, gripping my intestines in a vise. He peeled her dress from her body, revealing a pair of small, perky tits. She hadn’t even bothered wearing a bra, left in only a black thong with red hearts decorating the lace. She knew he was coming…that’s why she was all dressed up. Her hair and makeup were done despite it being nearly midnight.

Had he gone to my place, knowing he’d pick a fight with me just so he could run over to her? I just gave him the opportunity and he took it. He started trailing kisses down her chest, wrapping his lips around one of her darkened nipples. The popping sound of him sucking it rang through my skull.

My face heated with humiliation and pain. It was taking everything in me just to hold the tears back, but I wasn’t done. I needed to see how far this would go even if I knew already.

I fast-forwarded a few minutes. They were both naked on the bed now, her chest lowered to the mattress at the edge. From the positioning of the camera, that left them diagonal, giving me a good side view of what was happening. Ava’s hair was wrapped around his fist, his other hand gripping her waist as he pounded into her from behind. Her choked moans rang out around the room followed by his pleasure-induced grunts.

I’d never even seen his dick before and he had no problem showing it to someone else, allowing them to feel it. Bile rose to the back of my throat like acid. I felt so guilty after the things I’d done, when he was off doing this with no remorse whatsoever.

His voice rang out, the sound of it so full of heat and desire that it made my insides twist. “God, Ava. You’re gripping me so damn tight. You’re my dirty little whore, aren’t you?” his heavy breathing followed as he brought his hand down on her ass, making her buck forward with a whimper.

“God, yes,” she moaned.

I’d seen enough. I ripped the earbuds out of my ears and stuffed them back into the box with shaky hands before pushing them back across the table along with her phone.

“Are you okay?” she asked with sincerity.

Why couldn’t she just be a bitch so I could hate her, too? “He had just left my house that night. We got into an argument. He said he was going for a drive. Guess that really meant that he was going to see his mistress.” There was an unintentional bite to my tone, but it wasn’t directed at her. A manic laugh slipped from my lips, surprising even myself. The alternative was bursting into tears, though. “He told me he was a virgin. That he wanted to wait until marriage. It had been his idea.”

She winced, dropping her gaze to the table like looking at me was a chore. Hell, maybe it was. She obviously cared for him, too. We both lost him when we found out about the other. “I’m sorry,” she muttered.

I waved a dismissive hand in the air even though I was dying on the inside. “Don’t be. Thanks for telling me.”

She nodded, stuffing her things back in her bag before giving me another hesitant look. “I expected you to be…crazy.”

I snorted in response. “Oh I am. Just not when it comes to stupid boys.”

She huffed a laugh before scrambling to her feet. “That’s fair. I truly am sorry,” she repeated, like she couldn’t say it enough.

“It is what it is. Now go before he finds out that I know.” I wanted to hear what he’d say for himself. If he saw us together, chances were that he’d walk right back out of visitation and hide.

She nodded and made her way across the room, slipping out the door on the other side. My chest felt heavy. If he’d cheated on me while I was stuck in this place, maybe I could have understood that, since I did it, too. But he’d been cheating on me for a year or longer. Ava said he was always running off. I never realized it before, but he ran off on me a lot, too. He did it in such a way, it didn’t feel like it, though. He’d wait until we argued and then he’d leave or tell me he wanted to visit his family alone since he didn’t get to see them often.

I felt like an idiot. My entire world had revolved around him. He took care of my sister as if she were an extension of him. Those were some of our best memories, especially since she was gone now, too. Daisy adored Alex. My mom did as well on the off chance that she wasn’t plastered in her room.

I felt eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up, or to turn my head. Seven and Archer probably heard everything, and I didn’t want to give them another reason to make me feel like shit.

My breath caught in my throat when a shadow loomed over my table. Still, I didn’t bother to raise my eyes. If he looked at me right now, he’d know something was wrong. I just needed a few more minutes to come to terms with what I just found out.

Alex slipped into the seat across from me. If he’d spotted Ava on his way in, he wouldn’t be sitting here right now—that much I was sure of. He hated confrontation of any kind, or so I thought. I always assumed that was why he ran away when we argued, but now, I realized that I didn’t know much about him at all. The version of him that I knew never would have cheated on me.

Taking in a deep breath, I slowly lifted my head. Pain splintered through my chest once our eyes locked and memories came rushing to the surface. All of the holidays, the movies, the date nights, the laughing, the conversations about our future together. None of it mattered anymore because it had never been real.

“Where’s my mom?” I asked.

Alex shifted nervously, like he was afraid to upset me by telling me why she was absent again. That thought was almost laughable. “This has been hard for her,” he explained like I didn’t know that. I was still her damn kid. “She’s fallen off the deep end. Drinking heavily, popping pills, sleeping all day.”

My mom had always been an alcoholic and a borderline junkie. But that wasn’t the conversation I wanted to have with him right now. Visitation hours were limited, so if I wanted to talk to him about her , it needed to happen now before time ran out. My hands slipped into my lap, and I eyed the boy across from me with repulsion. The dirty things he said to her echoed through my skull. He pounded into her ruthlessly. He wasn’t a virgin. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever been a virgin during our time spent together.

“Are you okay?” he asked at last, taking in my stiff posture and my lack of expression.

I shrugged. “Who’s Ava?”

If I hadn’t already seen evidence of him screwing her, then the way his face paled would have given him away. “She’s a girl from one of my classes,” he explained. “Why?”

“I heard from a little birdie that she’s more than an acquaintance to you.”

He rolled his eyes, playing it off like he wasn’t at any fault and that this was just a rumor. I knew better, though. “Who told you that?”

“We’ll get to that. I’ll ask you again. Who is Ava?”

Alex leaned back in his seat, slipping on a mask of boredom as he stared at me from across the table. “I just told you. She’s a girl from one of my classes. I don’t know her beyond that.”

Annoyance flickered inside me, and suddenly, I wondered what else he’d lied about during our relationship. If he was this comfortable and good at lying right to my face, I knew it couldn’t have been the first time he’d done it.

I snorted in response, rage simmering just beneath the surface of my skin. “Do you make a habit out of fucking your classmates?”

He reeled back, his eyes widening in shock, like he couldn’t believe what I’d just accused him of. I was glad I asked for proof, otherwise, it would have been easy to fall into his trap. He was a master manipulator. He wasn’t who I thought he was at all.

“Are you really accusing me of cheating on you, right now?” he demanded in a low growl that was so unlike him, it had the hairs on the nape of my neck standing on end.

“Cut the bullshit,” I snapped, planting my hands on the surface of the table, using the momentum to pull me forward so that I could speak more quietly without alerting the entire room. “She had a camera in her room. She had evidence. I just have another question.”

His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed. But he knew he’d been caught, so instead, he just nodded.

“Why wouldn’t you do it with me? Why find it somewhere else, knowing how willing I was?” It took great effort to keep the shake out of my voice. Rage and agony trickled through me like a never ending current of despair.

He sighed, a look of defeat crossing his expression. “You deserved better than that,” he finally said. “You were pretty, smart, and classy. It didn’t matter where you came from. You made a new life for yourself at Northbrook. I didn’t want to treat you like some dollar store hooker. As soon as we married, I would have dropped Ava. I just couldn’t bring myself to have sex with you when she was still in my life. You deserved to be the only one. You were innocent when it came to that kind of thing, and I didn’t want to use you like that.”

My nails bit into the surface of the table. “Do you hear yourself right now?” I snapped, leaning back in my seat. “I’ve never been innocent . Inexperienced, maybe. But in a way you still used me. I was the one you ran to when you wanted to feel worthy. You used Ava on the side to satiate your needs. You saw the hovel I grew up in, cared for my sister like she was your own, and I thought—” I broke off, my chest rising and falling as the heat built behind my eyes. I couldn’t even stand to look at him a second longer. Ava was his mistress. I was the one he always came home to. That was how he looked at it. While he was cheating on me, he was still talking to me about our future like it was in the cards for us. He never intended on telling me about her.

“Everything okay here?” Archer asked, slipping into the seat beside me. For once, I didn’t even care about his interference. This conversation was practically over.

I didn’t bother to look his way, and even when Seven flanked my other side, I didn’t turn to him either. The guys might have been at odds right now, I wasn’t stupid. It was why Archer had been eating with me at mealtimes, but they’d still always have each other’s backs even if they were mad at the other.

Archer put a possessive hand on my bare thigh. That didn’t surprise me. What surprised me was when Seven did the same to my other.

Alex shot a nervous glance at both of them before settling his gaze on me again. “Everything is fine,” he gritted out in annoyance.

“Didn’t sound that way to me.” Seven smirked. “But it’s all good. Just run back to your little slut. I’ve been taking real good care of your girl here.” He leaned toward me, his breath brushing against the side of my neck. “Isn’t that right, Rosalie?” His hand slid up my thigh and as much as I was still pissed at him, I’d let him do this. To show Alex that he was a piece of shit and that I wasn’t incapable of deceit either.

“What is he talking about, Rosie?” Alex growled, like he had a right to be jealous. Fuck him.

I parted my legs, allowing Seven’s hand to slip beneath my skirt. His fingertips brushed over my panties before he slid them through the bottom, rubbing them against my slit.

Archer glanced over at us, a smirk of his own curling the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, Rosie . What is he talking about?”

I bit down on my lip as Seven sank a finger inside me, my walls clamping down on it. He groaned, burying his face in my hair. I cast a weary glance around the room, making sure no one could see what was happening. Satisfied that no one was looking, I widened my legs, my left one brushing against Archer’s. His hand wrapped around my thigh, and he tugged it wider, holding it against him in a firm grip while Seven pumped his finger in and out of me. I was still sore from having sex with him, but it still felt good. Even better now that I knew what a piece of shit Alex was.

“She’s so tight,” Seven whispered, moving his head to look Alex in the eye, a sinister smile stretching across his face.

Alex’s eyes widened as he came to the realization of what was happening. “A-are you touching her right now?” he demanded.

“Why don’t you look for yourself?” Archer suggested.

With shaky movements, Alex did just that. He looked beneath the table, his face growing red as he watched Seven finger me from a couple feet away.

My breath caught when he slid a second finger inside, my heart pounding furiously against my chest. I’d never been reckless, never been the type to make a move on a guy with the exception of Alex, and I’d definitely never allowed a guy to touch me in public. Never even thought about it, if I was being honest, but there was something so erotic about this. This wouldn’t change anything; I knew that, but watching Alex squirm and get a taste of his own medicine was so worth it.

I dropped my hand beneath the table, planting it on Seven’s leg while I stared directly into Alex’s eye. I made sure my movements were obvious to him, but not obvious enough for anyone to see what was happening if they glanced this way. I moved my hand across his leg until I reached the bulge in his pants and then I rubbed him through his jeans, making him release a breathy groan.

“You really should have fucked her when you had the chance,” Archer pointed out, keeping his voice low. “She’s ours now.”

Ours.

That one word did something to me that nothing could compare to. My breaths came out short and fast while I continued to rub Seven and he continued to move his fingers in and out of me.

“She’s so goddamn wet.” Seven breathed with hooded eyes, unable to hide his own arousal.

Alex shot him a scathing glare. “Get your hands off her.”

“But she likes it,” Archer replied with a grin.

With Seven sitting this close to me, I could now see a bruise decorating his jaw from where I’d hit him. That turned me on more. Maybe I truly was crazy. A gasp slipped past my defenses when he turned his hand, using his thumb to rub against my clit. My grip on his dick tightened, his breaths coming out heavy and fast within my ear.

Archer reached across my lap, moving Seven’s hand so only one finger was left inside me. Confusion settled into my chest, but that was short lived when Archer sank a finger of his own in me, my body jerking from the size difference of their fingers.

I didn’t know why they’d chosen to come to my rescue. Maybe it was a ploy to claim me against someone they thought was my boyfriend. Alex stopped being my boyfriend as soon as Ava showed me that video, though. Under any other circumstance, I wouldn’t sit here and allow these two guys to touch me in such an intimate way—especially out in public, and especially after what Seven said to me the other day. I still hated him, but right now, I was using him as he had used me.

Seeing the anger, shock, and despair all over Alex’s face was worth it, though. “So, what?” he snapped. “You’re their whore now?”

His words shouldn’t affect me. But they did, and maybe he was right. In less than two months, I lost my virginity and let another guy grope me. It felt weird having guys want me like this. Everyone was friends with Alex at Northbrook. Guys would check me out a lot but would never approach me out of respect for him. It wasn’t that I wanted other guys’ attention, but it would be nice to know that I was attractive at the very least. I thought I looked decent, but that didn’t mean much. Didn’t everyone think that about themselves?

Ava, though…

She was breathtaking. I couldn’t blame him for wanting her. I just wish he would have been honest about cheating on me or had more self-control to break up with me first.

“You’re one to talk,” I said dryly, trying to hide how much his words bothered me.

Alex had always been classy. But after seeing that video, hearing him degrade that girl while he fucked her ruthlessly, and now how he sat here accusing me of being a whore because I’d found someone else to be attracted to, it opened my eyes. It turned out that I didn’t know him at all, just the version he wanted me to see.

Like in those books where the man showered his wife with affection, gifts, and money. Only then to fuck his mistress behind her back and would show that mistress a different side to him—one that wasn’t tied down with all the pressures of providing and parenting. The mistress would one day want to be the wife, but the man would never allow it. She was his dirty little secret. On the off chance that he did leave his wife for her, the cycle would eventually repeat itself.

Archer’s voice cut through my thoughts like butter, forcing me back to the present with a current of electricity sparking deep inside of me. “She’s tight,” he grunted, wiggling his finger against Seven’s as they both moved inside of me in unison.

A curl of disgust twisted Alex’s lips as he watched me, but he seemed rooted to the spot, like he couldn’t stop staring. Maybe he didn’t want to. “Did they fuck you?” he demanded, like he even had the right to ask a question like that after what he did.

Part of me didn’t want to tell him. To make him wonder until it was all he could think about. But Seven answered for me. “Just one of us.” He grinned. “For now.”

My heart started racing even faster at his words. Was he just saying that to goad Alex, or did he actually mean it? It shouldn’t have turned me on. He was practically suggesting that they intended on passing me around. That wasn’t going to happen. Even if I was attracted to Archer. Seven already made me feel dirty for taking my virginity in the woods and then told me in front of his friends that it had been nothing but a game. After this, they’d never touch me again. If Alex hadn’t just cheated on me, and wasn’t sitting across the table watching this, it wouldn’t even be happening now.

Sometimes petty revenge was the best medicine.

“Don’t tell me you have a problem with sharing.” Archer grinned, staring my ex-boyfriend down. “At least we’re giving you the choice. That’s more than you gave Rosalie.”

Alex narrowed his eyes. “So, if I say no, you’ll stop touching her?” he drawled unconvinced.

Archer shrugged. “Maybe I would if you were still dating, but I have a feeling that she’s never going to want to see you again after this.”

That was the truth. He broke my heart and made me look stupid for ever trusting his scheming ass. Plus, we needed to break up anyways. I also cheated on him, and that was without knowing what a giant sack of shit he was. I was at fault for my part. But the difference was, I’d felt guilty and intended on telling him. It certainly wouldn’t have taken over a year.

Alex glanced over at me, a pained look crossing his features like he hated watching this. Good. He deserved to suffer. “Is that true?” he asked, having the audacity to sound broken. “You’re done with me?”

I didn’t even have to think about it. “So done.”

His face hardened into a mask of fury; one I’d never seen him wear before. He’d been angry with me a few times, but it still didn’t come off as hostile as this. “I’ll see you next week once you’ve finally come to your senses,” he snapped, slapping his hands on the table.

A few people glanced our way, making me tense, but if they saw anything, they didn’t let it show. Not even a flicker of surprise. They just returned to their families. It was then that I realized Seven’s parents were gone, as were Archer’s. Had they abandoned seeing their families for me ? Guilt churned my stomach at the prospect.

As soon as Alex strode out of the door on the other side of the room, Seven and Archer removed their hands from between my thighs.

My pussy fluttered in protest, but I wasn’t going to ask them to keep going. I was done with this. Done with it all.

A cold chill swept through me, leaving me lonelier than I’d ever felt before. Alex had been the only person I had left. Now, he was gone, too.