Page 37 of Blade (The Dark Angel’s MC #1)

Luna – Four Days Later

I take a deep breath as I look up at the night sky, the stars shining bright. I close my eyes as the breeze washes over me, and I can’t help the small smile that takes over my features.

Peace, that is what I feel, and I know Leo has everything to do with that.

He settles me in ways I never thought I could be settled. I thought, even after killing him , that I’d still be looking over my shoulder, still be depressed and hating life, but I’m-I’m happy…

He’s my safe place, my home, he makes me happy.

I smile a little again. Who knew a one-night stand to throw in his face would turn out to be my everything?

I look over the yard to where Dark Angel’s Motors is and bite my lip.

Old man Trivers's car is in again, and he had requested Leo have a look at it, which he wasn’t too happy about. We were supposed to spend the evening at his, well, our house, now I guess that he’s all but moved me in. He wasn’t happy when Fury called him about the Chevrolet.

He was mumbling about a date with me and the tub and something about burning the car so he’d never have to see it again. Must admit, I laughed.

I told him we could still go in the tub after he was finished and that I’d wait at the clubhouse for him mainly because he felt like shit leaving me alone after a therapy session, something he hadn’t done since I started seeing someone every day.

Man, he’ll be pissed if he finds out I’m outside on my own, being in my head.

Reliving my past and the pain I went through is hard, and I tend to revert to myself, the memories taking over.

It doesn’t matter that he is dead, it doesn’t matter that I’m not looking over my shoulder or the fact that I feel free for the first time in eight years, the past is still inside me, the scars are still on my body, scars Leo never touches or looks at.

At first, I thought maybe he was disgusted by them.

If he touched me skin on skin, he’d braze over it, but my therapist helped me understand that he doesn’t want to make me feel uncomfortable and that I should speak to him about it which admittedly I haven’t done yet, but I will.

Being open with him is healthier than keeping my feelings inside.

I sigh and look towards the yard, the swing set coming into view, and sadness takes hold.

I still can’t have children, or most likely won’t be able to have them.

I never thought I’d want children, not after what I went through, but then in comes Leo, and suddenly, it’s want it all. The ring, the house with the picket fence, the cut... kids.

I want a family.

I look down and swallow hard. It’s hard for me to be here.

I haven't said much to anyone yet, or made any friends, which I know is my fault. It’s not like they haven’t tried.

Leo mentioned they keep asking about me, wondering how I am and how they want to get to know me, but every time I think of coming here, I freeze up until today.

Dr. Dana said, subconsciously, I was trying to protect myself.

That the trauma of my brother’s club is making me closed off with Leo’s, which isn’t fair to him.

She said it would take time. I just have to keep pushing forward, which is why I said I’d be here.

However, within minutes of having everyone look at me, I felt like the walls were closing in on me, and I came out here.

That was two hours ago, and a few brothers have come to check on me, some making conversation. I have to admit, I didn’t feel like running, but I also didn’t feel like going back inside.

I hear the back door open again, and I smile a little before a voice to my right says, “Hey,” and I turn to see Leo’s mama, Anna.

I try not to tense and swallow hard because, well, I didn’t expect her to come out next. We haven’t spoken one-on-one, and even though I want to, I just don’t know if I’m ready, but she’s not giving me an option as she takes a seat next to me.

“Hi,” I whisper, and she smiles and asks, “What are you doing out here alone?”

I wrinkle my nose and debate telling her a pack of lies. I don’t really trust her, but I guess the trust won’t build unless we speak.

If I want to have relationships with Leo’s family, I need to at least try, even if this woman hits me.

Why do I get the feeling that I’m an idiot?

“I feel out of place a little, and even though the brothers are coming out, I still don’t feel ready to be alone with all of them at once,” I admit, and she hums and confirms, “Because of your family and the trauma?”

I nod once and say, “My family was supposed to protect me. I mean, that is what brotherhood is all about, right? Being there for your family, standing by them and I’m not just a family member, I’m the president's little sister, and they didn’t believe me.

They didn’t stand by me and protect me, and I guess I’m a little apprehensive. ”

“The Dark Angels would start a war for you, Luna,” she says, and I look her way.

She smiles and admits, “When you disappeared, the whole brotherhood did everything to help find you. Every lead, a brother volunteered when Blade couldn’t go.

Your brother's club may have failed you, and your mother may be an absolute idiot, but you are wanted here, and you are loved.”

A lump forms in my throat, and she sighs, “My son, I love him so much,” her eyes race between mine, “My husband had a child with someone else. He cheated on me, and this life, I was so scared it was going to turn my son into a man who doesn’t put his heart first but puts the club first instead, and I panicked.

I didn't want to stay around it," she swallows, then whispers, "I'm sorry for what I said to you, what I accused you of doing, and more so, I am so goddamn sorry for hitting you.”

I swallow the lump and whisper, “Leo said you cheated on Brick.”

She nods as she looks off into the distance and admits, “I did, and I regretted it instantly.” She sighs, “Women were throwing themselves at Cole, and no, it isn’t an excuse.

I shouldn’t have touched that prospect, but I was lonely, and I had just caught the man that owned me making out with some woman without a care in the world. ”

I furrow my brows, look at Anna, and ask, “Does Leo know this?”

She smiles sadly and admits, “No, he doesn't, and he's not going to know. Everyone in this club has accused me of gloating and rubbing it in Cole’s face, and when that woman showed up announcing she was pregnant, the brothers said I deserved it because I didn’t keep my legs shut despite half of them knew Cole had started the chain events by being unfaithful first. Yet, if I had turned around and said I was having another man's baby, he would have kicked me out instantly,” she shakes her head, “I love my husband I do, but I have spent years of people accusing me of sleeping with the prospects, I’ve had my own family accuse me of being a patch chaser all because I won’t accept my husband’s love child.

Not one of them actually speaking to me about it. ”

“None of the rumors are true, are they?” I confirm, and she shakes her head, looking forward again.

“After finding out the woman had the baby, I knew I couldn't forgive Cole.

I knew I couldn't stay here and watch him play happy families expecting me to go along with it so I decided to cause as much trouble as I could so my son would kick me out, but unfortunately for me, he only banished me from the clubhouse,” she sniffles and looks up at the night sky, “Until I really messed up and a man I adored was killed because I ordered a prospect to stay with me to piss my son off. Everyone blamed me despite the fact that Macky could have gotten anyone to go with him and I think I died a little that night, and I lost my old lady cut, something everyone believes I want nothing more when I don't,” Anna clears her throat, “I decided to distance myself from my husband and son for a little while, and the lies that kept being spread about me which unfortunately caused more lies and my husband believed them all before suddenly, rumors started spilling that I didn’t want my son to move on with his life, that I wanted to keep the first lady role,” she scoffs and looks at me, “If I had it my way I would have left the role years ago but Cole wouldn't let me and then you came along and I'm so sorry but you were collateral. I knew how sweet you were, I could see your sadness, but I needed an out, and everything else I tried failed.”

“You wanted to leave the club?” I ask in a whisper, not really knowing if I have a right to ask, but she hums and answers, “Yes, and I did, but at the clubs apartment building, and Cole brought me back when I didn't answer his or Leo's calls. He accused me cheating,” she looks down for a moment before she looks at me and admits, “I bought a house with an inheritance my parents left me and plan to move out next week,” and my mouth parts.

“I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay before I left, and most importantly, I wanted to ensure we spoke first. I never should have hit you. I never should have used you as my scapegoat. I was wrong, and I am so sorry, but I need you to know you will be okay. The brothers will love you like their own and protect you, and I know deep inside me you will be the perfect first lady, and my son will never hurt you the way my husband has hurt me.”

I swallow hard as Anna gets up but leans down, presses a light kiss against my head, and mumbles, “You are family, Luna, and you are protected. Remember that, and please give us a chance to prove it to you.”

That said, she walks away, and my eyes tear up.

I look up at the night sky again, focusing on my breathing so I don’t end up crying again as her words wash over me.

Only seconds later, after hearing the back door shut, I feel a warm body behind me, then legs going either side of my body.

The heat instantly warms me, and without a second thought, I lean back and tilt my head to the side and up into the crook of Leo’s neck, inhaling.

“How’s the car? Still in one piece?” I ask, closing my eyes.

His chest rumbles against my back as he replies, “It’s still in one piece. How did you know it was me behind you?”

I smile against his skin and mumble, “My body lights up when you’re around, just like it did that day at Big Macenzie’s Grub when you walked inside. You’re my home, Leo.”

“Fuck I love you,” he breathes, putting his nose to the top of my head and I smile wide and reply, “I love you too.”

“You should have told me you felt uncomfortable around the brothers alone, princess,” he says after a few minutes of silence, and I sigh.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to worry, and besides, this way was for the best. One by one, the brothers came out, and each time, I began to feel comfortable, and I got to have a heart-to-heart with your mama,” I whispered.

He sighs and mutters, “I heard. I had my suspicions over the last few weeks, and a lot of shit has come to light lately, but Dad won’t let her leave.”

“She’s dying on the inside, Leo. The club turned against her when your father is the one who began the whole ordeal,” I utter, and he hums and rumbles, “I know, but if Mama got to know Skylar, she would love her like her own and forget the shit Dad caused.”

I wince and admit, “If it were me, I wouldn’t want to know your illegitimate child, and I also wouldn’t want to be around people who thought I was screwing around and claimed the child was punishment for making a mistake when she felt lonely.”

Leo growls, “I would never, and I mean never, do to you what Dad did to Mama. I’d rather you cut my dick off first,” and I melt into him and state, “I could never do that. I love your dick.”

Leo chuckles, holding me tightly, then sighs and says, “Mama is strong. She loves my dad, and I know she will be okay.”

I groan, “He’s going to lock her in his house, isn’t he? He knows about the house she’s bought?”

Leo chuckles but doesn’t reply, and I shake my head and mutter, “What is it with the men in this club threatening to kidnap their women?”

“Can’t kidnap, princess, they’re married, and besides, Psycho hasn’t kidnapped Ivy yet,” he says, and I utter, “Yeah, yet,” and he just chuckles, his chest rumbling against my back, and I smile, I can’t help it but my smile soon fades as he runs his hands over my stomach, missing my scars and I swallow hard, and ask, “Are you ashamed of my scars?” before I lose my confidence.

I hold my breath, waiting for his answer before I feel his hand go to my chin and gently move my head so we can make eye contact.

Nothing but love shines back at me.

“Is this something you spoke about in therapy?” he asks, and I nod once. He sighs, bending slightly and gently pecking my lips, then murmurs, “No, baby, I’m not. I don’t touch them because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

I nod. Dr. Dana was right, of course. I see nothing but truth shining back at me.

“I want to tattoo over them.” I admit, and he nods and states, “I’ll make it happen.”

I move my head and press my lips against his, and he melts into me, his touch on my chin gripping before I pull back a little and ask, “Take me home?” and he grins, “Thought you’d never ask.”

My heart flutters and my stomach tighten as he stands then helps me up before he throws me over his shoulder. I laugh as he smacks my ass, and nothing but happiness fills me.

I won’t lose this man, I’ll continue to fight for my mental health, and I’ll continue to fight for him because, damn, I’m one lucky woman, and he is worth living for.