Page 12

Bella

Love. I had it and I lost it. And then, for so long, I didn’t even think about it because it was too painful that I forgot what it felt like.

But now it’s back. Exploding in every, last cell of my body, crackling and sparkling and making me forget all those things that should be forgotten.

Not love. I will never forget love again.

His body as he holds me close is so wonderfully warm that even this deep, ocean side night chill can’t touch it. An ice age couldn’t touch it.

“We waited too long to do this,” I whisper and feel more than see him smile.

“I have no idea why we waited,” he says.

“You know what? Me either.”

But as soon as I say it and despite how very good I feel in this moment, in his arms, in the light of a billion stars, all the whys start flooding my brain.

My family would’ve killed him if I stayed with him.

For the honor, if nothing else. Especially as they started losing it.

But I don’t want to bring any of that into this perfect place.

He holds me tighter, kissing the top of my head as I burrow closer to him and try to forget it all again. All but how good making love to him feels. He smells like the sea, and the nighttime ride, and so many other good things I don’t even know how to name them all.

“I was gonna suggest we go again,” he says. “But you’re right… it’s cold. Let’s continue this somewhere a little more comfortable.”

“Not your clubhouse,” I say.

He leans back so he can look me in the eyes, and the moment his warmth recedes, icy cold floods me. I’m so sure I’ll never be warm again that no amount of knowing it’s all just in my head will make me not believe it.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to put anyone else in danger,” I say. “Let’s just go to a hotel or something.”

I punctuate it with a laugh that sounds so forced I almost cringe.

He sits up and pulls me along too. “Don’t mind Rogue and his warnings. You’re one of us. You’re family. If you’re in danger we all are.”

Some of the warmth returns to my chest at hearing him call me family.

“That’s all I ever wanted to be,” I say. “Your family.”

The silence that stretches between us is soft like the ocean waves, beautiful like moonlight sparkling on them. But also sharp and cold the way only starlight can be.

I have no idea what’s rushing through his mind because I can’t see his eyes to read them. But I’m sure it’s not much different than the stuff in my mind… it’s my doing we’re not a family. But this is our second chance, and I’m gonna do it right this time.

“We should at least find out why Rogue is so concerned over me being here,” I say. “Besides, we’ll be so much more comfortable in a nice hotel downtown.”

This time my laugh isn’t quite so forced. Mainly because I’m already seeing the two of us tangled in the soft white sheets, laying on an even softer mattress, his body at once heavy and light on top of me, his lips?—

“Yeah, let’s go,” he says and gets to his feet, offering me his hand to help me stand.

By some miracle we locate all our clothes without needing to turn on the flashlight on my phone.

“Are you already seeing the comfy hotel bed in your mind too?” I ask as I’m buttoning up my jean jacket. I’ll need to get a leather one soon, if we’re going on any more of these nighttime rides. Which we are, if I have anything to say about it.

“What I’m already seeing is you naked again,” he says and pulls me into his arms, kissing me so deeply and wildly, the ground beneath my feet transforms to water, soft waves supporting me, carrying me to the life I always wanted.

“That was intense,” I say, my head spinning as we break apart. “What did I do to deserve it?”

He takes my hand and leads me to his bike. “It’s just because you’re you. And you’re finally mine again.”

I don’t know if either of those things are good for him. But I push that thought down. Focus on nothing but the hard seat beneath me and his hard abs enveloped in my arms. Nothing but the sweet, sea-scented air all around us as we’re riding again.

And for the first time in maybe my entire life, I start to feel like things will work out the way they should. The way that is good and pleasant and involves no pain. No regret. No shame and no guilt.

This is my second chance. And even though I don’t deserve it, I will take it. And build the life we both need and deserve with it. I swear that silently to the night wind. To all the angels listening. To God. And I will swear it to Blade too, just as soon as we stop and I can kiss him again.