Page 95 of Bitter Queen (Advantage Play 4)
“Will you stay with me when I face him?”
His eyes connect with mine. “Yeah. I’ll be here for however long you need me.”
“Then why are you walking out of this room?”
“Because you should get some sleep.”
“Then you should stay and hold me.”
“Q,” he breathes.
“Don’t act like you know what I want.”
“Maybe I know what you need,” he counters.
“If you did, then you wouldn’t be all the way across the room. You wouldn’t have hesitated in kissing me. You wouldn’t be pushing me away right now. I’m not stupid, Diece. I can see it. Hell, I can feel it. Right now, I need you. Why are you putting up a wall between us?”
“Q,” he repeats. It’s nothing but a whisper.
“Answer the question.”
His face sours. “You deserve your Hallmark guy.”
“I deserve a guy who loves me the way I love him. So tell me, D. Do you love me?”
“Blue….” The anguish in his voice is staggering, but I don’t let him off the hook.
“Answer the question,” I push.
“Of course, I fucking love you. I love your addiction to shitty movies. I love your blue hair that’s always a mess. I love the way you block people out when you don’t want to hear what they have to say and the way you get up every single morning even when you’d rather hide under the covers. Because you’re brave. You’re beautiful. And you’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Let me ask you this, Diece. Do you remember when we were at Matteo’s estate? When you told me that you weren’t keeping me as your prisoner? That I could choose what I wanted? If I wanted to stay or not?”
“Yeah.”
“Then let me make my choice. I want to stay. I want you. I love you. I choose you. I don’t want a sappy Hallmark guy even if he was real. I want raw. I want you,” I reiterate with tears in my eyes. “So, let me ask you this again. Why the hell are you all the way across the room when I just want you to hold me?”
I hold my breath and watch his thoughts flash across his face like a slideshow. But there isn’t any indecision. Just vulnerability. It doesn’t belong on such a sexy, confident man. But maybe that’s why I love him. Why he’s captured my thoughts, my body, and my heart. Because he can be vulnerable with me. The same way I’ve learned to open myself with him.
“Please?” I whisper.
He breaks and gives in, closing the distance between us with a few strides before wrapping his arms around me.
“I love you, Blue.”
“Love you too, D.”
37
Q
“You sure you’re ready?” Diece asks. The shed is looming in front of us like the never-ending hallway from The Shining, but I somehow manage to take another step toward it. When a pebble bounces off my sneaker and skids across the cobblestone path, my gaze follows it.
I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this.
With our hands tangled together, he tugs me back a few steps. “Q?”
I blink. “What?”
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