Page 82 of Bitter Poetry

Nina greets me with a smile. “Good day, Mrs. Gallo. Your father is in the drawing room.”

“Jessica?” I ask.

“She’s out with her friends. But she will be sorry she missed you.” She takes my coat from me. “I’ll bring the tea for you right away.”

“Thank you.” It’s for the best that Jessica is not here. She would see right through me and know something was wrong. Later this year, she will be starting college. I’m thrilled for her, thrilled that at least one of us gets to follow our dream.

Hopefully, she will meet someone there and stay as far away from this world as she can.

I head up to see my father, my smile is firmly in place.

“This is a nice surprise,” he says, wheeling his chair around from where he was looking out the window.

“Morning, Papa.” I lean down and kiss his cheek. His cologne is familiar. The lines on his face that seem to grow deeper with every day, not so much.

Nina bustles in with a tea tray and leaves again just as quietly.

I sit at the table and pour the tea, aware of my father’s eyes on me. When I look up, I see the tightening in his expression, followed by a slow creeping dread.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he says quietly.

I shake my head and blink the sting from the back of my eyes. “Don’t.”

We rarely talk about the past, about the decisions that led to the here and now. It only hurts when we do. I’m nineteen andmarried to a man I hate. If there is a way out of this, I haven’t found it yet.

“I’m a damn fool.”

He doesn’t touch his tea. Neither do I.

“You couldn’t know.” Only deep down, I feel that he should have.

His eyes turn distant, like he knows my words for a lie. “It won’t be forever.”

How I wish I could believe him.

CHAPTER 26

CARMELA

Wednesday comes around again, and still I haven’t seen Christian.

I should be going out, but I don’t feel like doing anything. I need to snap out of this, but I’m caught in the backlash of my own making.

My sister calls me as I’m getting ready. Usually I would open a video, but today I don’t want to take that risk while I have no makeup on.

“How are you doing?”she asks.

“Good. Will you be at home when I come over today?”

“No,”she says,“and you are such a liar. The only time you say you’re good is when you’re feeling really low.”

Silence.

“Put the video on, Carmela.”

“I can’t.”

“Did he hit you again?”