Page 41 of Bitten By Desire (Crooked Point #1)

Tuesday

I walked up to Callum’s front door and lifted the heavy knocker. But before it even dropped, the door opened.

Callum’s golden eyes met mine. “I figured you’d come.” He moved to the side for me.

I tried to hide my shiver as I stepped into his house. I didn’t want him to think that I was scared. Because I wasn’t.

“Do you sleep?” I asked.

“Not often, no.”

“But can you?”

He pressed his lips together as he stared down at me. “It’s more…resting.”

“So if we shared a bed…you wouldn’t sleep?”

“I’d rather stare at you anyway.” He smiled.

But for some reason, I didn’t smile back. He was right that this relationship wouldn’t be normal. Was I okay with that? That this could never be…what I wanted?

But what did I want exactly? I stared at him. I don’t know why I was overthinking all of this. All I wanted was him. “Wouldn’t you get bored?” I asked.

“Of you?” He closed the distance between us. “Never.”

I smiled up at him. “I did a lot of research about vampires. I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want. ”

“Will you give me whatever I want too?”

He lowered his eyebrows in that way that made it hard for me to breathe. I swallowed hard and my throat made a weird squeaking noise.

Callum reached out and traced his fingers down the front of my throat. “And what is it that you want?”

I knew what he was expecting me to say. That I wanted him. And that was true. But it wasn’t what I needed to talk about right now. “I want you to let Bennett keep the pocket watch.”

His eyebrows lowered even more.

“Please,” I added.

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I asked you to.”

He shook his head. “I know what that watch is used for, Emma. I have first-hand experience. And it’s not for anything good.”

“About that…” my voice trailed off as I looked up at him. “How many people have you killed, Callum?”

He took a step back from me and ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s in the past.”

“How far in the past exactly? You told me that I made you want to change. But how long did that take?”

“It took me a few years.”

“Okay. So…you’ve been eating exclusively animals for like seven years?”

“More like two.”

I nodded. That wasn’t that long. “Was it because you were weaning yourself off of human blood slowly?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets. “It was more like I had some…slip ups.”

He’d lost control. I stood in his cold foyer. Staring at a vampire who sometimes had slip ups. And I wasn’t scared. Because he wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t. “How many slip ups?”

“Emma…”

“Did you…um…have sex with those slip ups?”

“No.”

“None of them?”

He shook his head.

That was good. But my question had made another question pop up in my head. And I couldn’t shake it away. Even though it wasn’t fair. “How many people have you had sex with since me?”

His golden eyes bore into mine. “I told you earlier. I’ve been in love with you for ten years, Emma.”

That didn’t really answer my question. “So that means…you had more slip ups?”

“No. Not a single one. I may have had a hard time controlling my natural instincts when it came to blood. But I could control this one thing. I haven’t slept with anyone since you.”

I’m sorry, what? I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. “No one?”

“I’m a little old-fashioned sometimes.”

I closed the distance between us. “You waited until you found your way back to me?” For some reason that was the best proof that he wouldn’t hurt me. He loved me. He really did. “You didn’t have sex with anyone else?”

“It was worth the wait, baby.”

I wanted to squeal but I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t do anything embarrassing. “I love you.”

“Are you sure? Because it kind of seems like you came here to ask a bunch of questions to convince yourself we’re a bad idea. ”

“What? Not in a million years, Callum. Speaking of a million years…how old are you exactly?”

“That portrait you took photos of at my old house was taken shortly before I turned. I’m 273 years old.”

I stared at him. That was a long time to live. “So you are immortal?”

He nodded.

“And I’m…not.”

“Being immortal is a little overrated.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

I understood why he wasn’t really smiling. He’d lived through so much pain. How many people had he watched die? Not just by his hands, but loved ones too? “I’m sorry.”

“I’ve waited several lifetimes for you. But it was worth the wait.”

He was seriously trying to make me melt. Or distract me from all my other questions. “So your name isn’t Theo or Callum? It’s…William right?” Sir William Evans.

“I’m actually quite fond of you calling me Callum. Although this is the best version of me.” He gestured to himself. Standing there as Theo Gold. He’d given up what he truly craved in order to be with me.

“I fell in love with you ten years ago,” I said. “But I like this version of you too. It’s going to be hard to call you anything but Callum though, so that works for me. Callum Walsh.”

He smiled down at me. “So you’re really staying?”

I shrugged. “I know what life without you feels like. And it’s not for me.” I’d been stuck for the past ten years. I hadn’t really been living. All I could think about was him. He’d completely consumed me since the first moment we met. Of course I was staying.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. Even though I still had a million questions for him.

Did I really want to know how many people he’d killed?

How much regret he carried with him? I could see it in his eyes.

His beautiful, golden eyes. He was tortured by his past. I didn’t want him to feel that way anymore.

He deserved to be happy. We deserved to be happy together.

He stepped forward, pushing my back against the front door.

God, he was so distracting. As much as I wanted to go for a round two… I put my hand on his chest. “Your eyes get darker when you’re hungry, right?”

“Yes.” It came out as more of a question. He had no idea where I was going with this.

“And you just fed on me. A bit. So you’re not hungry right now?”

He shook his head.

“Can you show me what’s in your garage? In all those freezers?”

“It’s blood, Emma.”

“Like dead animals?”

“No. Bags of it.”

Oh. For some reason that seemed less gross. I remembered back in elementary school when they used to give us these little plastic bags of milk. You had to poke the side with a straw to drink it. “How often do you need to drink blood?”

“A few times a week.”

“Do you ever eat normal human food?”

He smiled. “I can tolerate it. But if we’re having steak, I’d prefer it on the rare end. ”

Okay. I could handle seeing him eat that. It wasn’t a big deal. He really seemed to have all this under control. “So you don’t get like urges or anything?”

“I do.” His eyes wandered to the side of my neck where I knew there must be a bruise.

“But you can control it? Or eat animal blood instead?”

He nodded.

“What if the urge is really strong? And you’re worried you might lose control?” I wanted him to relate to what Bennett and his friends were going through. They couldn’t control when they turned. They needed that pocket watch and Callum didn’t.

“I have a system.”

“A system for when you’re hungry?”

“To keep people safe.”

“Okay.” Maybe whatever system this was could help Bennett too. “Can you show me?”

He slipped his hand into mine and led me toward the stairs.

We both knew I’d been up here before. Uninvited. I’d been scared to death sneaking around his house looking for clues. But I’d been right the whole time. He had been hiding something. I was even right about what he’d been hiding.

I’d avoided him the day I’d snuck in, running away from him at every turn. And now it almost felt like I was a lamb being led to slaughter as we reached the top of the stairs.

He guided me past one closed room and then the next.

“What’s in those rooms?” I asked .

“Some old possessions. Heirlooms. Things like that.”

“Artifacts?” Bennett mentioned that maybe Callum had something else to control my mind. I really hoped that wasn’t true.

“Nothing of note,” he said. But he paused in the hall. “Something is on your mind. Tell me.”

I kept my mouth shut. For a long stretch of time. I breathed an internal sigh of relief. If he was controlling me, I would have already told him. “I was just wondering if you had anything else with magical powers.”

“A few things I’m looking into. You’re welcome to look around if you want. There are keys to all the rooms in my desk drawer. I’ll be right back.”

I held on to his hand. “Not necessary.” I believed him. “I want you to show me your system.”

“It’s in my bedroom.”

“Is it like a safe room or something?” I thought about the big vaults that Bennett and his friends locked themselves into.

“No. Nothing that intense.”

Because he didn’t need it. And Bennett did. I followed him silently to his room.

He hit the light switch. It didn’t seem as sinister as it had the other day. But there was still one thing that was weird… “Why don’t you have any stuff? Where are all your pictures? And decorations?”

“I never know what’s appropriate to use from my past. Maybe you can help me with that. And maybe make this place feel more like home. For the both of us. ”

I smiled. “I’d really like that.” I looped my arms back around his neck. “Do you really want me to live here with you?”

“Unless you’d rather get married first.”

“You haven’t even asked me to be your girlfriend,” I said with a laugh.

“I thought that was implied when I told you to end things with Bennett.”

“That definitely wasn’t implied.”

He smiled. “It was. You couldn’t be with him. Because you’re mine.”

I swallowed hard. “So you’re my boyfriend?”

“It doesn’t sound like a strong enough word to relay how I feel about you. This is another way that I’m old-fashioned. I’m happy to court you for as long as you wish. But it feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life to be with you already. I want you to be my wife.”

This was all moving so fast. But also slow at the same time since I’d been dying to have him in my life again for ten years. “You’d be stuck with me forever.”

He lowered his eyebrows.

And I knew why his smiles were suddenly gone again. It wouldn’t be forever. It would only be for another sixty years or so. He’d be frozen at thirty something his whole life. And I…wouldn’t. I didn’t want to grow old and gray alone. I wanted him to change me. I wanted to live with him forever.

“It’s possible, isn’t it?” I asked. “To be together forever?”