Page 125 of Bitten & Burned

“No. You don’t get to ‘sweetheart’ me when you hate that you love me.”

He looked stricken, paler than usual, as he fumbled over his words. “That’s not what I— fuck, Rowena, I—please listen…”

“Don’t bother coming up with an apology. I won’t believe it,” I said coldly as I turned to leave.

The words echoed in my head as loudly as Vael’s:What did you do?

I fucking love you, Rowena. I hate it, but I do.

What wassowrong with me?

Why was it that I’d been with Vael for so long, and he still couldn’t muster a real feeling—except disappointment?

Quil hated that he loved me. Vael was disappointed in me. Godsdammit, why would he have asked me to do the bonding ritual with him if he didn’t love me?

Because he’s a vampire, it doesn’t mean the same to him as it does to you. He’s immortal.

But I’d thought… hoped that Vael wasn’t like that. That he was one of the caring vampires. Like Cassian. Or Dmitri. Or Anton. Although none of them were jumping to tell me they loved me, either. But I also hadn’t known them as long as I had Vael.

Gods, this was too much to handle.

I wasn’t sure what made me go to Vael. Maybe curiosity. Maybe desperation. Maybe I just needed to know.

I knocked on his door. He opened it, looking genuinely surprised to see me.

“Rowena…” he said softly, his eyes moving over me like I was a mirage he didn’t quite believe.

“I love you,” I said, blunt and reckless.

His eyes widened—barely. His lips parted, then pressed together again. His gaze flicked to my shoulder… then back to my eyes. Then back to my shoulder.

“I’m sorry that the bonding didn’t go the way you wanted. I’m sorry if I was what caused that. But I love you. I do love you, Vael.”

He didn’t say anything. He looked at me. That’s it.

I gave him time—an eternity, it felt like.

Still nothing.

So I kept going. “Do you love me? You asked me to bond with you. That’s more than human marriage. Did you ask because you love me? Or was it something else?”

“I did it because I want to be with you,” he said.

When his eyes skimmed my shoulder instead of my face, the bond with him thrummed sharp and thin, like a thread about to snap.

“But do you love me?” I asked again, my voice tipping into desperation. I hated that I needed the answer. “Say something, Vael.Anything. Please.”

He didn’t answer. Didn’t look at me. Not for the longest time.

And then?—

“Is this really something we need to talk about right now?”

There it was.

No. He didn’t love me.

Maybe he had once. Maybe he stopped when I bonded with the others. Or maybe I’d just been fooling myself all along.