Page 34 of Bite Me

I could hear what he was saying, but my brain didn’t engage with the subject. It was otherwise occupied. Eddie’s lips moved, his eyes scanned the screen, and I got fascinated by the tiny hairs on his cheeks and nose, visible in the white glow from the computer. His skin looked like the softest velvet.

Leaning closer, I breathed him in.

His humid exhale, the faint perfume from his antiperspirant, a hint of his sweat and musk, the smell of his shampoo… I had all of that catalogued and memorized and should be used to it, but my reaction to the essence of him was only getting stronger.

To my frustration, I realized I couldn’t recall his exact flavor, not even while smelling him next to me. Was the taste of his blood too complex, too sophisticated to be taken in fully and remembered? Was it so elusive that I couldn’t reimagine drinking from him? I couldn’t evendreamof tasting him again, which frustrated me to no end.

What had his moans sounded like? I remembered his weight in my lap and his kisses, but I wished I could replay the sound of his orgasm.

“Russel?”

“Huh?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yes, of course.”

He frowned, scrutinizing my face. “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping. It’s just that you don’t look good. Are you sick? But you can’t…get sick, can you?”

I blinked. I stared at his concerned expression, panic churning in the pit of my stomach.

Eddie dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

“I’m fine. I’m just…”

“Tired?”

I pushed away from the table and from him, trying to get some distance. The wheels on the chair squeaked against the floor. One of them seemed stuck, and the chair stopped still too close to him. After shaking my head in a futile attempt to clear it, I glanced at the city lights outside. The nightfall was always such a relief.

“It’s okay. I just haven’t eaten in a while.”

Silence fell, heavy and meaningful. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

“Oh.”

Closing his laptop, Eddie stood. It seemed he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I wouldn’t blame him. He was alone at the office late in the evening with a vampire who had just admitted he was hungry.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, my voice weak. “I’ll be fine.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the chair. With Eddie further away from my body, the air in the room seemed colder. I shivered. My arms and legs weighed a ton. I’d get up soon. I just needed a moment.

But Eddie hadn’t left the room. I heard him shuffle by the door.

“You’re really pale, and there are these dark circles under your eyes. You look almost gray in the face.” He sounded concerned and kind, not judgmental in the least. Then came the quiet but explosive question. “How long has it been?”

I exhaled, not opening my eyes. “Four weeks.”

“But that was…”

I gave him a single nod. Yes, he’d been my last meal.

“Why?” He breathed the word.

“It’s okay, Eddie. It’s not your fault or your responsibility. You can go.”

I needed to pull myself together. I had to go out and feed. Tonight. All the screeching demons in hell! Just the thought of touching anyone else but the boy in front of me made me nauseous.

Why was he still here, staring at me?