Page 28 of Bite Me

“There’s this tension.”

Suddenly, Sheri looked like I had offered her a box of chocolates. “Uh-huh. Keep going.”

“This is bad, Sheri. Stop looking so excited.”

“Can’t help it.” She pointed at her head with both hands, her grin growing manic. “This is the most exciting shit these ears have ever heard. Keep talking, for fuck’s sake!”

I laughed even though my stomach turned, the fizzy liquid inside suddenly like a bomb about to explode.

“I’m screwed.” A small burp escaped me as I said that, and I covered my mouth. Sheri just giggled.

I told her everything.

“I like him. He’s handsome and intelligent and a damned adult, you know? Not a boy, not a dude, he’s aman. He’s around fifty, I think, but doesn’t look it because, hey, vampire. I know you prefer older guys, so I don’t have to explain that to you, but experience isso hot, right? He’s already lived a life and seen stuff I can’t even imagine. He challenges me, and I really have to think when I talk to him because he doesn’t miss a thing. I reallyreallyfucking like him, and the fact that I can’t ever have him is making it worse. I think… I have reason to believe he likes me too. Or he’s attracted to me. Or at least he wants to…drink from me again. Which… Sheri, it was the hottest thing ever.”

Sheri bit her lip, her eyes glowing with glee. “Let him.”

“Did you miss the part where I could lose my job?”

“Clandestine, dangerous, hot office affair…”

“You’re not helping.”

“What are the chances, though? I thought this only happened in rom-coms.”

“Because in real life, crazy coincidences like this never lead to anything good.”

“Let’s focus on the important part.”

I nodded, becoming serious. “How to make it through this without jeopardizing my career.”

“No, silly! The important part is he wants you too!” God, she was giddy, and I found it hard to push back against her enthusiasm. It was infectious.

“I don’t know for sure, but…”

“Do tell.”

“I cut my finger today. Just a paper cut, but there was a little blood. Just a drop.”

She groaned. “Oh my God, he must have smelled it. They smell blood immediately. I bet he wanted to bite you.”

“He probably did, yeah. He took my hand, sucked on the wound to clean it, and then he sealed it.”

Sheri put her hand on her chest. “Wow.”

“He moved away from me, but he looked shaken. And I tried not to stare, but there was a distinct tent in his pants.”

“Holy shit, that’s so hot! Did you offer him a helping hand?” She winked.

I jerked back, horrified by the suggestion. “No! I ran out of there like my ass was on fire.”

“What?I still don’t get it, Eddie. You’re like this genius PR wizard, right?”

“Not really. I…”

“You are. That’s why you have this high-profile job and those super-secret clients you can’t tell me about. You’re a freaking genius. But put a fuckable man in front of you, and it’s like your brain regresses into the seventeen-year-old pimply, clueless preppy boy I first met.”

“This is not about my bumbling nervousness in front of men. This is about ethics!”