Page 27 of Bite Back
ASHER
After Delilah and the other guests depart the barbeque, I linger. I’m sprawled out on a wooden lawn chair in the back courtyard, sweaty beer in hand.
It feels right. And it also drives home how wrong I’ve been. I avoided Claude because I thought seeing him like this, seeing him as a vampire, was a reminder of how much things changed. How badly I messed up.
But, now Claude sits beside me, fingers absentmindedly drumming on the arm of his chair. Just like always. Winston winds by his legs, and he reaches down to stroke his tangerine fur.
The scent of hot dogs and mustard lingers in the air.
Claude breaks the silence. “So Delilah, huh?”
A faint heat spreads across my cheeks.
“She’s just a source.” Even as the words leave my mouth they feel wrong.
Claude raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. He spoke with Delilah earlier. Alone. What did she tell him? Then again, I doubt Claude needs to be told anything to read me.
“Fine. She’s a friend.” The word still doesn’t fit. Not really.
“I’ve got eyes. I haven’t seen you look that way at anyone since Ryan. That woman’s not just anything. Not to you.”
Not to me.
Claude’s right. I threw myself into work after things fizzled with my ex-boyfriend. Didn’t think about dating or romance. Until now.
I give in. I can’t hide the obvious. Not from Claude.
“Yes.” Yes, she’s not anyone. But also: “She’s a vampire.”
The truth hangs there for a moment between us. It’s just a statement of fact. But we both know everything that comes with that fact. All the history. All the pain. All my reasons to hesitate. Claude’s face remains stony, unreadable.
Fuck.
I was too comfortable. Too honest.
Then the tension pops like a balloon.
Claude starts laughing, at first a chuckle, then a full-throated laugh. I join him, tears welling in my eyes and my breath coming in pants.
When we finally regain our composure, Claude turns towards me.
“Look, I know you have your past and your reasons. We both do.”
Good reasons. Reasons not to be here, too. But here I am.
“You know it doesn’t change anything. Not between us.” I mean it. Despite everything. Claude is still my best friend. Maybe my only friend.
“It does though.” My stomach clenches. Because it’s true. I avoided him, abandoned him at the time when he needed me the most. I can never take that back.
I’ve been so focused on things that were out of my control that I let showing up for my friend—something entirely within my control—slip.
I hang my head.
“But,” he says with a kindness I don’t deserve, “maybe change is good.”
It’s not easy though. Winston jumps onto my lap, pawing insistently. I reach down and rub beneath his chin and pull out the cat treats I brought in my pocket.
Some things never change.
For so long, I’ve lived between two extremes.
I’m either the broken little boy who lost his family or the perfect slayer who never fucks up.
Being a slayer protects me, guards my emotions.
I wear my job like a mask, an armor that I put on to hide the vulnerabilities lurking beneath.
I may not be the boy I was, but I’m not the man I pretend to be either.
My mind flashes back to Delilah watching Claude and me talk on the couch. Watching us try. When Delilah looks at me, I feel like she sees who I am underneath it all: hurt and healed, scared and brave, soft and strong.
I’m sure of two things.
One: I’m falling for this woman. Two: I very well may have to break her heart.