Page 41 of Birthright (Sinners of New Orleans #4)

FORTY

Olivia

L ately, it feels like confused is my permeant state. Every time I start to let my guard down with Sam and think there might be something between us, he puts his walls back up, keeping me locked out.

He wants me to belong to him, not be with him.

And as much as I thought he was different from Rhett, something about that tugs at my chest, making me feel like all men are the same.

I'm pacing the living room while Roman stands at the entrance, an apologetic look on his face. We're currently not on speaking terms since he refuses to let me leave. Sam's orders, but still, I'm mad at him.

I want to go home. Back to the bar so I can check on my grandfather and make sure everything is okay and still intact there. But Sam has ordered his men to keep me locked up in this house. He's telling me it's for my safety, but a nagging part of my brain thinks it's so he can control me.

Which only makes me want to rebel.

The doorbell rings, and my head pops up, looking at Roman. Are we allowed guests during the current state of lockdown?

Wordlessly, my babysitter goes to answer the door, and the three women I've come to know as friends breeze in.

Madi, Lana, and Zoe.

"Olivia!" Madi shouts my name with a smile and opens her arms, taking me into her embrace. Even though I've only met her a few times, she treats me like we're old friends and not like I'm the girl who witnessed her cousin commit a murder.

"Uh, hi." I pull back. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I heard from Adrian that Sam has you on lockdown, and I figured you might need some company. Particularly of the female variety, considering Sam and Roman are probably the only two people you see lately."

"Hey, I'm great company." Roman huffs.

"Mmhmm." Madi nods, as if she's agreeing with him, but when she faces me again, she rolls her eyes.

Lana hugs me next, pulling back and assessing me with worried eyes. "You doing okay?" she asks.

I nod, afraid if I open my mouth, the words will tumble out before I have a chance to think them through.

"I'm Zoe," the brunette with steel-gray eyes chirps, reaching past Madi to give me her own hug. "We met briefly at my wedding. I was glad Sam brought you."

Of the three, Zoe's the one I know the least. I only met her for a bit at her wedding before she was off with her groom. She seems kind, though.

"Hi." I don't know what to say, and I'm still standing frozen in the doorway, in awe of the three beautiful women here to hang out with me.

I've never been good with female friendships. Most of the women I knew were wives and girlfriends of Rhett's friends. It never felt like they were my friends.

Madi breezes past me and straight to the kitchen.

Sam's chef, Emilio, is there, and he greets the blue-haired cousin with a smile.

I follow, unsure what to do, as she seems more at home here than I do.

Emilio pauses from whatever he's prepping, washing his hands and finding a bottle of wine upon Madi's request. He pops the cork for us and then rummages through the fridge until he's made us a gourmet looking charcuterie board.

Not long after, we're settled in the courtyard with wine, cheese, and cured meat.

"Did Sam send you to babysit me, since he won't let me go to work?" I spit out the question that's been burning my tongue.

Lana shakes her head, plucking a grape from the board. "When Madi called me, I figured you might be clawing at the walls being trapped here."

"Plus, we're nosy and want details," Madi adds, hiding a smile behind her wineglass. "About this...situation. We never finished our convo at Zo's wedding."

"I thought…" I pop my mouth closed. What did I think? That after fucking Sam a few times, he'd fall in love with me, and we'd live happily ever after? It sounds dumb even thinking it. He told me that he wasn't good at relationships. Shame creeps in, coating my skin in an embarrassing red.

I thought we were falling for each other. Those are the words that lay strangled in my throat, too embarrassing to say out loud.

This is exactly what my mother warned me about for years. Her fears seem to be coming to life. I moved back to New Orleans, and within a month, found myself living with the head of this city’s mafia family. And now, I'm on lockdown while I wait for him to sort out whatever threat is out there.

"There's no situation," I say.

Madi snorts. "Right. And sleeping with the most dangerous man in New Orleans is just a casual hobby?"

"It's just sex." It's a lie and I know it. But I can't admit that I have feelings for the man who's taken me hostage.

The three exchange knowing glances that make me want to throw something.

"What?" I demand.

"Nothing," Zoe says, pouring drinks. "It's just...we've all been there before."

Lana chuckles. "I swore it was nothing between me and Naz and that we could break it off, but it's not nothing. Never was. He's my soulmate."

"See, a few months ago, I would have gagged at that statement." Madi crunches a cracker between her teeth. "But now…" She shrugs. "I think I kinda get it. Adrian practically forced me down the aisle. But I love him."

Zoe laughs. "Same. I didn’t intend to fall for John. I was just trying to figure out what happened to my friend, but…here we are." She shrugs, reaching forward to grab a bite of cheese.

So they all fell in love in less-than-ideal circumstances?

I shake my head. "That's not the same. I saw… Sam, he…" I can seem to form a sentence.

"You saw Sam do something…bad." Madi tries to finish my thought. "But it was for a good reason. And I could be wrong, but I don't think that's what's bothering you."

She's right. I've moved past the fact that I witnessed Sam commit a murder. It’s weird to think about that being how this all started, when now it seems like it doesn't even matter.

"I don't think he's capable of a relationship, even if I wanted one."

Madi chuckles. "He is. He just doesn't know it yet."

"I can't." I shake my head, grabbing my glass and taking a too big sip of wine. "It's complicated enough with Grandpa's care and the bar..."

"And the fact that you like him," Zoe finishes.

That hits harder than they should. Do I like Sam? Beyond the chemistry and the way he makes my body feel? Beyond how he handled Grandpa with unexpected gentleness? Beyond those rare moments when his guard drops and I glimpse something real?

"It doesn't matter if I do," I say quietly. "This world, his world, it's temporary for me."

But even as I say it, doubt lingers.

Because more than just the sex, I think I like Sam Costello.