Page 43 of Beyond the Veil (Endangered Fae #4)
“Limpet. Hush,” Theo said softly. “I have to get to the security office and get back on duty.”
“But you can barely sit up. They can’t expect you to patrol yet, surely not. I could go ask them for you. I’m certain they’ll say no…” Limpet trailed off suddenly, the hitch in his voice stabbing at Theo’s still-healing heart. “You’re not glad to see me.”
“I’m glad you’re safe. I have work to do.”
Limpet grabbed his jaw and yanked his head around.
“Theo Aguilar, I ran and swam like a sailfish in heat to get back to you, so worried about you I couldn’t think of anything else.
They tell me you asked for me, again and again.
They tell me you… Well, no matter. And now you don’t want me here? At least tell me why.”
Dizzy from even that little bit of manhandling, Theo took a few slow breaths, which pulled Limpet’s scent deep inside his lungs. Damn it . “It doesn’t matter. What I want. Your family took you back. That’s only right. You should be with family.”
“I don’t know whether to kiss you or to knock you flat,” Limpet said in a too-even tone. “My family kidnapped me. I didn’t go willingly, which I told them I would not tolerate. And I came back to you.”
“You shouldn’t have.” Theo pulled away and went back to buttoning his shirt. There. One button. Wrong buttonhole. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Of course I should! Perhaps it’s daft but I’ve fallen in love with you!”
Theo surged up, stumbled away, and fetched up hard against the wall.
“You shouldn’t! You can’t!” Panting, he lowered his voice, “There’s only darkness with me.
No hope of children or a real life. Just endless rounds of blood feedings and darkness.
I go where I’m told, when I’m told, because the structure helps contain what I am.
And even that doesn’t keep me from killing. ”
“That’s why you push me away? Out of nine prison guards you helped take down, you killed one—because he would have killed Finn—and still you think yourself a monster?”
“Limpet, épale ! Don’t you see? I kill. That’s what I do.
It’s what I am now. I can use it in ways that aren’t as bad as others, but I can’t be something else.
It’s all I have left. And I can’t corrupt something as bright and beautiful and wonderful as you with all that filth.
” Theo choked on the last word, clutching at his heart, determined to stay upright despite the searing pain in his chest. If only Limpet had stayed away, he could have pretended the hole in his heart was healing.
Having him here just ripped it wide open and staked it out in the sun.
Limpet rose from the bed slowly and approached him with cautious steps, as if he were a wild animal.
“It’s not all you are, my sweet Theo. You forget I’ve slept in your arms. Heard your pain.
Seen what your hands can make. I’ve seen all you are and you can’t pretend to be a vicious killer to hide from me.
If this life hurts you, let’s find another.
But I’m here, Theo. To hold you up. To hold you close.
To share as much of both the moon and the sun as you can manage. ”
A desperate moan echoed off the walls as Limpet’s arms slid around him. Oh, shit, that was me . “Limpet…”
“Shh. Just tell me you love me.”
Theo let his head fall onto Limpet’s shoulder since he couldn’t hold it up anymore. “But you’re…but I’m…I do. I didn’t want to. But I do. Love you.”
“There. That wasn’t so hard. I have you. Lean on me. Everything’s going to be all right now.”
It was a bit of an awkward shuffle back to the bed but Limpet got him there and drew his boots off gently before putting him back under the covers.
“Now, no more of this I have to get back on duty nonsense. You can’t even stand yet.
Never fear. I brought you something that might help pass the time. Well, besides me, of course.”
Limpet skipped out into the hallway and returned with something wrapped in plastic that he dumped on Theo’s lap. He stared at the familiar packet, at the orange and yellow skeins of threads peeking through the stained film.
“You…how?”
“It was in my shirt. I had the odd feeling we wouldn’t come back to the truck. So I tucked it in there for safekeeping. Carol had it for me in her desk.”
“You clever little twerp.” Theo brushed the back of his hand over his eyes. He really had to do something about them leaking so much. “I don’t know what to say.”
Limpet climbed onto the bed beside him, his grin absolutely blinding. “Oh, you’re much better at not saying. I think we should have some not saying now.”
Theo tipped his head up and met Limpet’s kiss halfway, those soft lips a balm and benediction, washing away so much of the pain of the past five years. Thank God he was in love with someone who didn’t know how to let go, and he said so.
“Ha.” Limpet winked at him. “They didn’t give me my name for fun, you know.”
It wasn’t that funny, but Theo laughed harder than he had in a long time, until his chest hurt and he couldn’t breathe. But Limpet was there to hold him and he began to think about living in the light again.