Page 55 of Beyond the Stix
“I think he went that way,” Cal yells.
With Jessup loose, my goal is to get to Connor before he does. If that bastard has the balls.
Not wasting time, I head to the bus, where I find Danny, Callum, and Rafe sitting in the living area, while Bobby is passed out in one of the chairs. No one’s talking. But they will once I tell them about Jessup.
“Jessup escaped.”
“What do you mean he escaped?”
“I don’t know how.” I glance at each band member, their faces all displaying indignation. “How is he?”
“He won’t speak to us,” Danny admits with a hitch to his voice. “I’ve never seen him this angry before.”
“I blame you.” Rafe stands, jabbing me in the chest.
“Rafe.” Danny gets between us.
“Me too,” I admit, my eyes on the guitarist. “At least I got there before…”
“Yes, we’re all glad you were there,” Callum replies, rubbing at his eyes.
“But I don’t know how to—” Danny begins to say.
“No.Hehas to fucking fix this,” Rafe rails, pointing at me, before dropping back into the seat and covering his face with both hands.
“Where is he?” I ask, looking toward the back of the bus.
“He’s in the last bedroom, but don’t tell Connor about Jessup yet—not until he cools down,” Callum utters, then gets up and heads to the bar. “I think I’ll join Bobby, and get shitfaced.”
“We’ll join you.” I hear Danny say as I turn my back to them and head to the bedroom. As much as I want to tell Connor the truth about Jessup fleeing from the scene, Callum might be right on waiting until Connor cools down.
I pause a moment, to get my racing heart to slow down, before knocking lightly on the door. “Connor?”
Nothing. Pressing my ear to the door, I hear Connor’s beautiful voice, but I can’t decipher the words he’s singing.
“Please open the door, Connor.” I knock again, then check the handle and sure enough, he has it locked.
“No,” he croaks out. “Go the fuck away.” His broken words reach my ears, and I wish for all this hurt to go away, so I can hold him, and tell him I’m sorry for breaking his trust. But that isn’t what Connor needs right now. He has to know I won’t go—no matter what he demands.
“Alright. If you won’t let me in, I’ll just sit out here and we can talk.”
“I don’t—I don’t want to talk to you.” I know he’s lying, the hitch in his voice tells me so. But I’m not going to call him out on it. “Just leave me alone.”
“No,” I say flatly.
A manic chuckle bubbles out from behind the door, but it’s quickly muffled. “What do you want from me, John?”
“Nothing, Connor. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Right. Are you sure you didn’t come here for a fuck?” That’s a low blow. But I understand Connor’s sharp barbs. It’s his way of protecting himself.
“Are you offering?” I reply coolly.
Silence. Then finally, “Tell the guys that I’m okay. I just need some time alone.” Connor’s shaky tone says otherwise.
“No,” I counter, again, knowing that’s going to piss him off. But that’s my plan. I want him to release his anger on me. Use me as the target, and not hide himself away from the world, from his friends—from me. He needs to confront whatever he’s running from. “Use me.”And I’ll be here to catch you when you fall.
“Use you?”