Page 46 of Beyond the Rainbow (Pride Camp 2025 #11)

Homeward Bound

S unday

When Colin awoke the next morning, Joshua was nowhere to be found.

He limped to the bathroom and then wriggled his jeans over his cast, peeking out of the cabin’s window as he maneuvered the stiff fabric.

For a moment he paused, a slow, quiet smile spreading over his face.

Joshua stood on the porch, a mug of coffee in his hand, watching their final Camp Pride sunrise.

Colin couldn’t see his expression, but he didn’t have to.

He filled a mug, opened the door, and stepped out into the cool, mountain air.

“Morning,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Joshua’s shoulder. “Enjoying the view?”

“And trying not to be sad because it’s all over.”

Colin collapsed onto the steps. “Let me tell you something. This experience will never be over. These kids are going to carry pieces of Camp Pride within them until they’re old and gray.”

Joshua leaned against the porch pillar, gazing down at him, his expression reflective. “You really think so?”

“C’mon, Josh. Day one with the broken-down bus in the pouring rain?

The overnight campout from hell that ended with an ambulance parked on the dock and me in a cast?

The baseball game? The wedding? The play?

Think about it! It’s not just the things that happened.

It’s how we all handled them. How we taught the campers to handle them. ”

He took a sip of his coffee, then lifted his mug to Joshua.

“Just look at the growth we’ve seen in Alex !

That kid would hardly speak to anyone before this, hardly look at anyone.

And now?” Colin shook his head in wonder.

“He’s a leader here! He’s young, but even some of the older boys look up to him. ”

“You’re right,” Joshua said. He moved to sit beside Colin, gazing out toward the mountains as the sun cast a purple-pink glow across the sky.

“I saw a lot of growth in all these boys through my counseling sessions. Hell, look at Nico! He started out so awkward and scared, but ended up glowing with confidence.”

“Even if he never did learn how to behave in a rowboat,” Colin added with a chuckle. He nudged Joshua’s arm. “Don’t tell him, but he’s one of my favorites. Gave me sass right from the get-go.”

“And the Thunder Bats! The way they stepped up when Eric apologized.”

“Aaron too!” Colin added. “Man, what he did took guts!”

Joshua nodded and leaned against his arm. “I got an email from Rufeus this morning,” he said, speaking of the company that owned Rainier Clinic.

“They giving you a raise?”

Joshua scoffed, sipping his coffee. “No. But they did tell me that they’d like to make Camp Pride a yearly event.”

Colin leaned back, eyes wide. “With you as coordinator again?”

Joshua didn’t respond, merely stared pointedly at Colin, brows arched.

Colin breathed out a soft laugh. “Well, I already told you. I’m all in.”

Joshua opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Trent’s voice cut through the morning air. “You guys packed?”

“Are you ?” Colin asked with a smirk. “Or were you too busy enjoying your wedding night?”

“Well, I don’t mind telling you I did enjoy it! But yeah, we’re packed. I have to put some equipment into the van after breakfast but …” He shrugged, then laid a hand on Colin’s shoulder. “I want to thank you again for yesterday. It was unforgettable, Colin. Jeff and I will always be grateful.”

Colin placed his hand over Trent’s. “My pleasure, buddy. I loved every minute of it.”

Jeff hopped onto the steps, sliding both arms around Trent’s waist. “G’morning, husband.”

Trent half turned to kiss him. “Morning yourself, husband.”

Joshua rolled his eyes. “Lord god, it’ll be husband, husband, husband all day today.”

Colin laughed. “We did the same thing. Let them enjoy it.”

Jeff nudged Colin with his foot. “You mean I won’t always feel the way I do this morning?”

“You might,” Joshua offered. “ Some of it anyway. But you’re newlyweds! That’s a special kind of glow.”

Another set of footsteps sounded in the morning air and Colin turned to see David approaching. “Morning, Professor. Where’s Nate?”

“He’s meeting up with his writing class one final time before breakfast.” He beckoned to Colin. “Colin, I need a minute.”

Colin shot Joshua a puzzled glance before pushing himself upright with a quiet grunt.

His ribs protested the movement, a dull ache spreading through his side as he reached for his knee scooter.

He exhaled slowly, forcing himself to move carefully as he followed David to the side of the cabin. “What’s up?”

David met his eyes, his expression somber. “Look, buddy. I had a talk with Alex last night. He stayed to help us break down the dining room chairs.”

“Yeah? He OK?”

David nodded. “He’s fine. But, Colin? He wants you and Josh to foster him.”

For a long moment the two men stared into each other’s eyes in complete silence, then Colin rocked backwards on his scooter. “Sweet Jesus!”

“I know .”

“It’s not going to happen, Davy. It can’t !” He hissed out an angry breath. “ Goddammit ! I do not want to hurt him!”

“Colin, you have to be honest with that kid. Don’t lead him on. Tell him the truth. If you and Josh don’t want to take on that kind of commitment … you have to tell him so straight out and honest.”

Colin nodded. “I gotta talk to Josh.”

“Yeah. And the sooner the better, because Alex is going to bring it up.”

Colin’s lips drew back over his teeth. “ Fuck me !”

“Talk to Josh.”

He nodded again, then moved back to the porch, reaching to grab Joshua’s arm, interrupting his conversation with Trent and Jeff. “Need you,” he ground out, reaching for Joshua’s sleeve. A sharp pang lanced through his side as he moved, making him hiss through clenched teeth. “Need you right now !”

A flash of fear tightened Joshua’s face as he bolted to his feet and followed his husband a short distance from the cabin. “Are you OK?” he stammered out, grabbing Colin’s arm, looking him up and down. “Tell me! Are you in pain?”

“I’m fine, Josh. It’s not me.” He drew in a deep breath, then told him about David’s conversation with Alex.

Joshua gazed at the ground, standing in silence for a long time. Then he met his husband’s eyes. “I need to know your exact feelings on this.”

“My feelings are: One, it’s impossible, and two, I hate myself for saying that.”

Joshua nodded. “No, you’re right. It is impossible.

And not just because of the kind of lives we live.

It’s impossible because we’ve made that decision.

We don’t want that kind of commitment. But, Colin, don’t hate yourself.

That boy is asking two guys he barely knows to take on a huge , lifelong responsibility.

He’s been with us at summer camp. He only knows that side of us.

The side that’s been completely focused on these kids and their needs.

But that’s not our life. And it never will be! ”

“Oh god, Josh, I don’t want to hurt that kid. I don’t want to destroy all the progress he’s made.”

“We won’t. I promise you, we won’t.” He grabbed both of Colin’s hands in his and held them tight.

“Colin, saying ‘no’ to becoming full-time foster parents does not erase everything we’ve done for that boy.

” He drew in a deep breath. “Agreeing to something neither of us wants just to keep from hurting his feelings won’t help him in the long run.

He doesn’t need a halfhearted promise. He needs stability. ”

He walked a few steps from where Colin stood, then turned to face him. “Let me think for a minute.”

Colin stood, a soft smile touching his face as he watched Joshua pace back and forth. This was how his husband processed; this was how he coped. After several minutes, Joshua stopped pacing and simply stared out toward the mountains before returning to Colin’s side.

“OK. Here’s what I think: One, I want to get him together with Ryan.

He’d need it even without this development, and Ryan is a great child psychology specialist. Two, just because we can’t foster him doesn’t mean we walk away!

” He grabbed Colin’s arm. “Why can’t we pick him up now and then for an ice cream?

Take him with us to David’s cabin? Or to a movie now and then?

We can be part of his life without being full-time foster parents! We can be his friends!”

Colin gave a slow nod. “Will he feel as though we’re tossing him crumbs?”

Joshua’s grip on Colin’s arm tightened. “Honey, he’ll feel the way he feels.

There’s not a damn thing we can do to control how he feels about this or reacts to it.

We’ll give him honesty, and that means we offer what we know we can give.

How he chooses to respond is up to him. He may be hurt at first. He may be angry.

But that’s ok. Those feelings are allowed.

And even if he is hurt or angry, we’ll make sure he knows that our offer will stand no matter what.

All he has to do is call, and we’ll be there. ”

“God, Josh. Why can’t anything just be simple ?”

Joshua gave a soft laugh and eased into Colin’s arms. “Because, my darling, this is life. And life is seldom simple.”

They stood, holding each other for a long time, then moved back to where their friends stood waiting. Colin sank to a porch step and looked up at Trent who met his eyes, his own dark with sympathy. “David told us.”

Colin nodded. “Good.”

“Did you decide anything?” David asked.

“We’re going to offer friendship,” Joshua told them. “Not foster him, but not ignore him either. Take him for an ice cream or to UVA for a baseball game. Bring him to the cabin with us now and then.” He gazed at his friends. “We’ll give what we can.”

“Include him in ‘movie night’!” Trent suggested, meaning the nights he, Jeff, and Sophie were guests at Colin and Joshua’s home for pizza and movies.

“Yeah!” Colin exclaimed. “Movie night! That could be good.” He glanced up at Trent. “And isn’t he about Sophie’s age?”