Page 21 of Bewitched & Bewildered (Witches of Starbrook #1)

Chapter 21

Juniper

I never understood post-coitus clarity (commonly known as post-nut clarity) until today. Today is different. Today changes everything. Today is the day I realize…

It’s time to close the apothecary—for good this time. We tried it, but it’s as if I can hear my mother’s voice in my head. She wouldn’t want us to keep doing something that isn’t making us happy. And now, I can finally admit the shop doesn’t make me happy.

This leaves me with a plethora of unanswered questions and unsolved problems. I need to find a new way to make money and pay for our newly leaking roof. I’ll worry about those things as I go.

At least I won’t be stuck on a sinking ship.

I find my sisters sitting around the breakfast table. Laurel looks at me with a sly smile, and I realize how I must appear. Not only am I returning home at an ungodsly hour, but I’m positively disheveled.

I drop my bag on the table. It’s impossible to hide my smile.

“Let me guess…” she says .

I shake my head. “Don’t start.”

“Fine.” Laurel picks up a piece of toast. “I won’t say it, but I’m still thinking it.”

There is no way for her to know I’m spending time with Ozan… unless Maple tells her. I know my favorite sister wouldn’t do that. It’s still easy for Laurel to connect the dots and realize I’m spending time with someone .

And Laurel is the only one who saw us at the party. I still don’t know if she was too drunk to remember. It doesn’t matter. She seems better now, cheerily picking at her breakfast and sipping her orange juice. It’s as if that night, and the words she slung in my direction, never happened.

I still remember everything she said, but Laurel was right. I’m not her mother. The reminder was still cutting.

My sisters are happy. I realize that as I watch them around the table. Maple may not love her workplace, but she’s in the field she loves. Laurel is having fun with her tarot readings, and she can do them without the shop. Rowan is more successful than anyone in the family…

Aside from Aspen. Our middle sister is so happy that she barely responds to our texts.

I don’t need to keep taking care of them. It’s time to take care of myself. As much as Laurel’s words hurt me, she was right. I’m nobody’s mother.

“I think we should shut down the apothecary,” I say.

It feels surprisingly freeing to admit it aloud. The guilt I’m expecting doesn’t come. Instead, my smile grows. I must look positively chaotic.

Their eyes are all wide with alarm. Even Timber looks at me with his head cocked to the side.

“Why?” Rowan asks. “I thought we already had this talk.”

“Last time, I was whining, but I mean it this time.” I sit at the table and pick up a large orange, slipping my fingers under the peel.

“What changed?” Maple asks.

“Nothing,” I say. “That’s the problem. I need something to change, but I don’t know what—and I can’t figure it out, no matter how many times I look at it. That feeling of success, happiness, and excitement for the shop never came to me. I never wanted to run it.”

“It came for me.” Laurel smiles sadly. “But it wasn’t about the shop, I guess. It was my readings.”

“You can keep running the shop,” I say. “You would be good at it.”

“No. Definitely not.” Laurel shakes her head. “I don’t want to be the boss . I just want to read tarot.”

“You can do that outside of the shop,” Maple says. “We’ll set up a room for you right here.”

“That would be nice…” Laurel still looks glummer than I feel. I try not to let it elicit guilt.

“I get it,” Rowan says. “And I agree. I don’t think we should keep forcing it if it’s not working. It’s not what Mom would want.”

“But would she want us to shut it down?” My smile falters. “Would she be disappointed?”

I’m questioning myself. There’s no way of knowing what Mom would want. We could take out Laurel’s cards, but I don’t think asking her to channel our mother’s spirit is fair.

I need my sisters to support me and comfort me. I need to know they’re on the same page and won’t hate me for making this decision.

And I can’t keep being afraid to ask for love.

“She wouldn’t be,” Maple says. “She’s happy as long as we’re happy. That’s what I think. ”

I drop the orange peel onto my plate. “The town doesn’t need us. That’s a big factor here.”

“It can’t still be about the other apothecary.” Laurel leans in and fixes me with a serious look. “You can’t let him stop you from doing what you want. That’s not very six of cups of him.”

“I’m not.” I smile wryly. “But because of him, I don’t have to force myself to do this. I’m glad someone else is taking care of the town. It’s… not his fault.”

The words have always been true, but it’s my first time saying them. It was hard to see it that way when Ozan’s apothecary first opened. I was still clinging to the past. I’m not now.

That must be why I feel so free.

“What are you going to do now?” Rowan is the realistic sister, and she poses the most obvious question. “For work, that is.”

“I… well…” I laugh. The sound is surprising to everyone around the table, I think, considering the look they exchange. “I don’t know what I’ll do next, but that’s what I need right now. I want to sit in confusion for a while.”

“You’re right,” Maple says. “You’ve been on the go for as long as I can remember. I tried to tell you at the start.”

Maple is correct, but I still can’t acknowledge the words with more than a simple nod.

After a moment of silence, Laurel sighs. “I don’t get it!”

I lift a brow. “Don’t get what?”

“The tarot reading. I thought the shop was the six of cups, but…I guess it wasn’t.” Laurel’s shoulders slump. “I guess the reading was wrong. Like, really wrong.”

I press my lips together. I shouldn’t give Laurel any ammunition—but if I make her feel like her readings are inaccurate, I’m not supporting my sister’s dream. They all support mine, even though I don’t know what it is yet.

“No. You were right all along,” I say. “It was Ozan… and it was love. Well—not love, but something close.”

If I don’t put a damper on it soon, it will become love. I can’t look at my sisters, but I know Laurel’s jaw is on the ground.

“Really?” Laurel leans across the table, taking my hand in hers. “My reading was right? And my intuition was, too?”

I nod and stare up at the ceiling. “It doesn’t matter. He’s still healing from a divorce. I don’t expect anything from him.”

“My reading didn’t see that part,” Laurel says. “There was no three of swords…”

“But the three of cups was there,” I say. “Sometimes that can represent a third party.”

“Rarely…” Rowan tilts her head to the side. “Unless there was another indication in the reading.”

Laurel hums under her breath.

“Forget the cards.” Maple frowns. “Honey… you need to talk to him. All the divination in the world can’t make up for bad communication.”

“I don’t want to,” I say. “We already talked. I know what we are.”

Even if I’m not strong enough to keep running the shop, I am strong enough to pretend I’m happy with being his friend. Just his friend.

I still can’t believe Ozan is my friend. Somehow, that’s more surprising than everything else we’ve done.

OZAN

The only decent bar in the county is twenty minutes away. It’s still a dive bar with dirty glasses and a cheap pool table, but it’s a place for me to escape for a night. I deserve a break after the month I’ve had.

Since moving to Starbrook, I’ve been working nonstop. It’s satisfying work and different from what I did in Boston, but it still takes up my precious energy. I have two options. I can have a night at a bar, drink a few, and get a cab home…

Or I can call up Juniper. I can’t think of better stress relief than spending time with her, but I’m not sure she wants that.

Juniper and I are in a strange place. We agreed to keep it casual and physical, but I know something more is brewing. I still want to give her space if she needs it.

This is supposed to be a good night. It’s supposed to be my night. Of course, Otis is here to ruin it.

He’s Massachusetts born and raised. Why the hell is he still in Maine?

I spot him as I sidle up to the bar. He’s a few inches shorter than me, with a mess of black hair and an unmissable taste for bright colors. His beanie is bright yellow and perfectly matches his checkered pants.

It’s impossible to miss him.

“Otis?”

I should avoid him—I definitely shouldn’t stand next to him, but I do.

He turns to me with a tired smile. “Hey, man.”

He greets me like we’re still friends—and more than that, like he belongs here. Otis and I met in Boston; in my eyes, he should be there .

I remember when we first met—it was in a bar like this one. We were using fake IDs, but the bar near campus tended to look the other way. After that night, we were fast friends.

That ended when Vanessa found comfort in him. I still don’t know how to deal with his presence.

I shake my head as if that will make him disappear—like I’m an Etch A Sketch, and he’s a poorly done portrait. “What are you doing here?”

I should be angrier—more demanding—when I ask the question. Instead, I’m puzzled.

“I don’t know.” It’s impossible to tell he’s drunk until he lets out a laugh. It’s closer to a giggle but without a speck of amusement. “I was supposed to leave days ago…”

“Where’s Vanessa?” I scan the area, just in case.

I’ll be gone in a heartbeat if she’s here. I wouldn’t put it past her to return to the other man after acting like she wants me back. It seems in character for her.

“I don’t know.” He stares into the bottom of his glass. “She dumped me. But she dumped you first, so I shouldn’t complain, huh?”

I’m probably supposed to feel good about their breakup, but I don’t.

With a sigh, I prop myself onto the stool next to his. “She didn’t dump me; she cheated on me. You can’t compare our situations, bud.”

He winces. “That’s true…”

Otis and I never talked about what happened. Not really. We had one yelling match—not my finest moment—and I never wanted to bring the conversation up again. I still don’t. The fates have other plans; they usually do.

“So, what? Are you moving here? To Waterville?” I snort. “No one wants to live in Waterville. ”

I would rather live in Starbrook or another quaint town than in a moderate city like this. There’s nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to brag about, other than a college or two. Otis doesn’t belong here, and we both know it.

He shakes his head. “I can’t live here. I have a job to get back to.”

“Yeah. You do.”

I don’t want him sticking around. I’m allowed to have one selfish thought.

“I couldn’t stand the idea of driving back with her.”

“Can’t say I blame you.”

“I have a rental car booked for tomorrow,” he says. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

There’s nothing else to say. I should try to get closure, but I’ve had enough of that. Things feel closed with Vanessa. Perhaps I’ll never get it with Otis. I don’t think he has the emotional capacity.

“Well…” I stand. “I’ll be on the other side of the bar. Give you your space.”

“Wait.” He glances at me, and I realize how pathetic he looks. Maybe he’s always been like this.

I lift a brow.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. Everything I did was stupid as fuck. It was wrong. It probably doesn’t seem like it, but I’ve thought about it a lot. I should have put our friendship first and…”

There’s no end to his sentence. It never comes. Relief from his apology doesn’t come either.

I smile sadly. “Yeah. You should have.”

But I don’t need to dangle it over his head, and I won’t let it ruin my night of relaxation. I clap him on the back before walking away .

I’ll probably never get closure with Otis, but I’m ready to move on now.

I’m not a big enough man to say it aloud, but when I glance back at my old friend… I hope, someday, he’ll find happiness.