Page 38 of Better Than Gelato (Ciao Bella #1)
Chapter Twenty-Six
O n Monday, I share my news with Paolo over lunch. He listens as I tell him all about UC San Diego’s photography program and even manages to look interested for a moment or two. Then I mention Jake’s sister is coming to visit next week, and he sits up straight.
“Are you worried she won’t like you?” Paolo says immediately.
“What? No. I’m a delight.”
“Love is war, Julieta. You can’t always tell your enemies from your allies.”
I take another bite of bruschetta. “I’m not worried.”
“Then that’s your first mistake.” Paolo takes his napkin and folds it, then lays it next to his plate. It’s his signature move when he’s about to launch into a big speech.
I swallow and give him my full attention. “You clearly have some advice you want to dole out. Let’s hear it.”
“First, beware of traps.”
“What tr?—”
“Trap one, she asks probing questions, looking for anything you’ve kept hidden from Jake. Tell her nothing.” Paolo holds up two fingers.
“Trap two, she interrogates you about your future with Jake. If your response is too enthusiastic, you’re a gold digger, if it's not enthusiastic enough, you’re wasting his time.”
“How do I respond?”
“You don’t. But make it seem like you did.”
I take a long gulp of water, suddenly feeling out of my depth.
“Trap three, if she brings up any of Jake’s ex-girlfriends, put on your most bored expression. Imagine Jake droning on about his research.”
“I like hearing about his research.”
Paolo raises a single eyebrow to show he doesn’t believe me.
“And don’t under any circumstances, tell Jake within hearing distance of his mom, that you thought her soup was too spicy.”
“His mom? No, it's his sister. Wai—” My eyes narrow. “Paolo, where did you learn all this? What happened?”
“Nothing!”
“Paolo…” I give him my most menacing look and finally he sighs.
“I brought Valentina down to meet my family last weekend.”
“Whoa! That’s a big deal.”
“It is. But after Diego…” he clears his throat and rubs his left eye. “You never know how much time you have. And the only thing that really matters is the people you love. I wanted Valentina to meet everyone.”
I nod. I understand this new feeling of urgency. “How did it go?”
“Worse than I could have ever imagined.” He takes a bite of his pasta.
“Oh no! Were they mean to her?” I ask.
“Yes, but in the Sicilian way.”
“What’s the Sicilian way?” I ask and drink the rest of my water.
“You make them think you like them and then use their false sense of security to find their weaknesses and go in for the kill.”
“Ooh, I don’t like the Sicilian way.”
“No one does,” he says, shaking his head. “My male cousins follow general rules of engagement. But my female cousins...they’re wily and ruthless and follow no rules.” Paolo stares into the distance like he’s contemplating a pack of hyenas.
“How is Valentina?”
“She’s speaking to me again, which only took five days and three dozen roses.”
I can see from his face how awful he feels. “I should have prepared her.” He looks me dead in the eyes. “Which is why I’m preparing you.”
* * *
On the bus to meet Jake’s sister, I review everything Paolo taught me and make a mental list of reasons this won’t be as bad:
1. There’s just one family member, not a coordinated attack like Valentina faced.
2. I’m on my home turf.
3. Jake is the nicest person I know, his sister can’t be that different.
4. She’s not Sicilian.
It’s a good list, and I cling to it as I walk to the restaurant. I see them before they see me. Naomi doesn’t look like Jake. She has red hair and fair skin. She’s wearing expensive jeans and a silky green blouse.
They both spot me and smile. And then Naomi looks over at Jake, sees his face lit up with happiness, and her expression changes.
I give Naomi my nicest smile as I settle into my chair. “You must be Naomi. I’m so glad you’re here. How was your flight?”
“Long. I sat next to a snorer on the second leg, and he slept the whole flight, no matter how many times I elbowed him.”
Elbows strangers on planes. Noted.
The waiter takes our orders, and I get the baked ziti while Jake orders the spaghetti carbonara. Naomi chooses the ravioli. Then changes her mind and asks for the lasagna. Then two minutes after our waiter leaves, she makes Jake find him and switch her order to fish.
“It’s hard for me to choose too,” I say. “But everything here is so delicious, you can’t go wrong no matter what you order.”
“So, you’ve been enjoying the food here?” Naomi looks me over.
“Yeah, it’s amazing.” Wait, what did she mean by that? My cheeks flush, and I brush my hands over my thighs.
“So Naomi, tell me what you want to see while you’re here,” Jake says when he comes back to the table.
“Do we have to stay in Italy?” she asks with a whine. “I’ve already seen everything here. My friend Roxy says Malta is cool. Is that close?”
How could she not want to hang out in Italy? This place is the best!
“Why don’t we look online tonight and see what we can put together?” Jake asks.
We make conversation, which is mostly Naomi talking while Jake and I nod along.
“That job was toxic,” she says. “I can’t be surrounded by that for twenty hours every week. I had to quit. Like for my own wellness, you know?”
“Sure,” Jake says, and I nod along.
“Juliet, what do you do?” This is the first time Naomi’s asked me a question, and it catches me off guard.
“I’m a nanny.”
Naomi furrows her brow. “I’m so sorry.” She shoots Jake a look that clearly asks, ‘Why are you dating the help?’
I’m thrown off but try to rally. “Actually I love it. The girl I nanny is awesome, and the family I live with is wonderful.”
Naomi’s gaze drifts to the ceiling, obviously bored. In an attempt to impress her I say, “The dad is a fashion designer.”
That snaps her attention back to me. “Ooh, really? Could he get us tickets to some shows?”
“Oh, well the show season is over in Milan.”
“Bummer. So maybe just some free designer clothes?”
I give Jake a panicked look, and he jumps in. “Why don’t I take you shopping tomorrow?”
“Okay, but we have to use your card, I’m already at my limit.”
Our food comes, and I’m so happy for the distraction I eat faster than usual. I eye Jake’s plate, and he’s down to his last few bites, but Naomi’s barely touched her fish. We’ll be here for ages!
“How’s your boyfriend?” Jake asks.
“You mean ex-boyfriend,” she says.
“That’s a bummer. I thought you really liked this one,” Jake says.
“I know, I thought I did too,” she says, picking at a perfectly manicured nail. “But sometimes, people just aren’t who you think they are.”
“Sorry,” I say, aware that I haven’t spoken in a while.
“Me too. The whole time we dated, I thought his family owned a beach house in Martha’s Vineyard but turns out they actually just own a condo in,” she wrinkles her nose, “Jersey City.”
I must be making a judgy face because she looks at me and says defensively, “It’s the honesty that bothers me. You have to have honesty in a relationship.”
“Sure,” I offer.
“Speaking of exes,” Naomi says looking at Jake. “I bumped into Gwen the other day. She sends her love.”
My senses go on high alert. I want to ask some benign questions about Gwen, something totally casual and subtle, like on a scale of one to ten, how beautiful is she? Then Paolo pops into my head. I fake a yawn, which turns into a real yawn because I’m suddenly pretty tired.
“How’s her family doing?” Jake asks politely, and Naomi launches into how marvelous Gwen’s family is.
Jake gets up to use the restroom, and Naomi leans across the table toward me.
“So, are things between you and Jake pretty serious?” Her tone is friendly, like we’re co-conspirators, but I know it’s a trap. I do my best to answer without answering.
When Jake comes back Naomi launches into her “brilliant” idea of starting a cosmetics line for pets. She has pictures, which I’m hoping she photoshopped, of a Pomeranian wearing a Taylor Swift shade of red lipstick.
It’s only 9:00 p.m., but I’d rather rip my own ears off than listen to Naomi any longer. The next time the waiter walks by, I give him my desperate eyes, and he gets the message and brings the check.
Jake hands over his credit card, and Naomi smiles at me and says, “It’s nice to have someone who pays for everything, right?”
“Um…” I don’t know how I planned on finishing that sentence, but Jake saves me the trouble.
“It’s nice to have someone like Juliet who always thanks me for treating,” he says to Naomi. “You’re welcome for your dinner, by the way.” He gestures to Naomi’s plate. She didn’t take more than two bites.
“Thank you Jakey,” she says in a sugary voice that makes me want to vomit.
Before anyone can suggest dessert, I stand and grab my purse. “I’m feeling pretty beat, I’m going to call it a night. Naomi, it was nice to meet you. Jake, thank you for the lovely dinner.”
“It looks like this week is still up in the air,” Jake says. “But we'll come up with a plan tonight, and I’ll text you the details.”
We both assumed I would go traveling with him and Naomi this week, but now I’m wondering if we can un-assume that.
“Sounds good,” I say to Jake, giving him a quick kiss. “Good night, Naomi.”
“Buh-bye,” she says, not taking her eyes off her phone.
I head toward the door, but I’m still within earshot when Naomi says, “Gwen was way prettier.”
I don’t know how one person, in less than an hour, can make me feel insecure about my job, my looks, and my relationship. By the time I get home, all I want to do is crawl into bed.
* * *
I wake up late the next morning and see a text from Jake.
I’m taking Naomi shopping this morning. Want to come?
He sent it two hours ago. I text him back.
Just woke up. I’ll meet you downtown after my lunch with Paolo.
I mentally high five myself for dodging a horrendous shopping experience with Naomi, then hop in the shower and brainstorm other ways to get out of spending time with her this week. Can I convince Jake that the Rossis came back and demanded I take care of Isa?