Page 15 of Better Than Baby (Better Than Stories #9)

eleven

There were few things I hated more than shopping.

Very few. I think I had an allergy to retail establishments.

The second I crossed the threshold, I started to sweat and felt itchy all over, which led to general agitation and a whole lot of crankiness.

Trust me, my husband was extremely aware of the issue.

So I was a little surprised that he insisted my presence was required at Stork Emporium downtown.

“Why me? We bought the crib already. My job is assembly, and I thought we agreed not to do that until after the holidays.”

Yeah, I heard the panic in my voice. Not pretty.

Aaron hummed absently as he fussed with his scarf in the mirror in my office.

By the way, he looked freaking amazing in his long wool navy coat and Doc Martens.

Totally edible. But this was a place of serious business, and I could control my cock.

I clandestinely adjusted myself, straightening the sleeves of my Hugo Boss suit as I skirted my desk.

He checked his watch and spun to face me. “I know, but they have a floor model of the one we purchased, and I think we should take a peek at it together to be sure it’s a better option than the newer model.”

“That sounds like something that’s right up Jay’s alley,” I cajoled.

“Maybe, but Jay isn’t my baby’s other daddy. You are.”

Ouch.

But also…my heart flipped, and my smile was automatic and very sappy.

“All right, all right.”

“Come on, Daddy. Let’s do this.”

I shut down my computer, grabbed my briefcase, and said good-night to Colleen. “I won’t be back today, but I’ll be in early tomorrow. Anything urgent comes up, I have my cell.”

Colleen jumped to her feet to hug Aaron. “Every time I see you two running baby errands, I get all fluttery inside.”

Aaron did a mini dance. “Me too! So does Matty, but he’s much more chill about it.”

Colleen snickered conspiratorially. “He’s going to be such a softie, putty in your baby’s tiny palm. Now what’s happening today? Are you starting Lamaze?”

Aaron’s jovial expression dimmed and the effect was startling, like a cloud blocking the sun. He recovered quickly. “No, um…we’re going to look at cribs. The painters finished up last week, and though I’m trying not to overdo the decor, we need to be prepared.”

Colleen was a no-nonsense middle-aged mother and had been my secretary since well before I made partner.

She’d become a good friend, and had been a huge support to us during the failed adoption, but she didn’t know every facet of the story.

However, based on Aaron’s reaction, it probably wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that Lamaze was a rough topic.

She sent an apologetic look my way and wisely followed Aaron’s cue. “Very smart. How far along is Lena?”

“Twenty-eight weeks and four days,” he replied excitedly. “You should see her belly. She’s the cutest pregnant person ever. My mom thinks it’s a boy based on how she’s carrying the baby. Matty’s mom thinks it’s a girl because of how she carried her daughters. Now I’m wondering who’s right!”

“And you’ll know in two short months,” Colleen said. “I got the shower invitation. It’s so extravagant.”

Aaron snickered. “So extra, right? Jay couldn’t help himself. But it’s supposed to be a very casual coed event.”

“Ri-ght. For a gazillion of our very best friends,” I snarked.

Aaron’s smile had a guarded edge, but he gamely rolled his eyes, waving to Colleen as he steered me toward the elevators.

Twenty minutes later, I was surrounded by baby stuff. Cribs, strollers in all shapes and sizes, changing tables, activity gyms, and more. Much, much more.

“This is it.” Aaron circled a light wood crib with a critical eye.

I stuffed my hands in my suit coat pockets and studied it too, but it seemed like a straightforward piece of furniture. “I like it.”

“ Hmm , but what about this one?” He zeroed in on a white crib with a decorative headboard.

“I like the one we have better.”

Aaron frowned. “Matty, this is serious.”

“And I’m giving a serious opinion. I genuinely like the natural wood.

It goes with the house…stuff.” Believe it or not, I had a reputation for being sophisticated and eloquent in a professional setting.

I was floundering here, but in my defense, I didn’t understand why he was second-guessing this purchase.

It wasn’t like him at all. “Aar, what’s up? ”

“I just want to get this right.”

As much as I wanted to tell my husband my skin was crawling and remind him that we had a fucking crib at home, I sensed there was something else on his mind and it was best to tread lightly.

“I get that. If you want my opinion, I say we go with what we have. It’s nice.”

“Nice,” he repeated, shifting his gaze to yet another crib.

Okay, I was going to have to peel off my coat and undo my tie. Was it warm in here, or was it me?

“Aaron…talk it out. What are you thinking?”

He worried his bottom lip and crossed his arms. “I don’t know. I suddenly can’t make a decision to save my life.”

“But you already made the decision, and it was a good one.”

“Was it, though? You have no idea how many car seat options there are, Matty. So, so many. And everyone says you need more than one stroller—a primary one and one that you pop the car seat into. Some people love a traditional pram. And I’m one of them.

Your mom is convinced we’re having a girl and if so, she has strong opinions about the eucalyptus going best with white furnishing.

Of course she called it green with a big emphasis on the g-r.

And my mom says she had a dream that we had a boy and it felt like a premonition.

My mom’s premonitions are scarily accurate.

Also…we’re officially at the exact same place we were when everything went to hell in a horrible knock-off handbag with Cassie. ”

Ahh, so that was it.

I drew him into my arms and kissed the top of his head. Two women shopping in the stroller section glanced our way, but so what? My man needed me.

“I get it, baby. I do,” I whispered. “But this is different.”

He nodded against my chest. “I know. I’m just…scared.”

“Is this why you haven’t wanted to talk about doing those breathing classes with Lena?”

“We signed up for it, and we’ll go. We have to do everything we can to support Lena and make the birth easier for her and the baby. But talking about it could throw this off-kilter and?—”

“Aaron…”

“I know, I know.” He pulled away with a frustrated sigh. “But we did a Lamaze class. Remember? It was so fun, and Cassie was adorable. It’s a sweet memory that went sour.”

“Not gonna happen this time,” I assured him again.

He glanced at the wide array of baby paraphernalia on display and nodded. “I want everything to be perfect, and life doesn’t work like that.”

“No, it doesn’t. But slips and slides along the way sometimes lead us where we didn’t know we were supposed to be.

I mean…what are the chances of us meeting at a gay club on a dance floor in the dark all those years ago?

And what are the chances that you’d want anything to do with a closeted bi dude?

Yet here we are.” I brushed his hair from his eyes and cradled his nape.

“This life we’ve built is an adventure with ups and downs, but we’ve got this, Aar.

Like it or not, our kid won’t be perfect and we won’t be perfect dads, and that’s okay.

We’ll try our best every day and a few decades from now, we’ll be old and gray with yellow teeth and paunch bellies. ”

“Ew, we’ll be well-preserved.”

“And we’ll sit on our rocking chairs and talk about our kids and grandkids, and good times, and we’ll laugh, and be grateful to have so much damn love in our lives.”

Aaron wiped at tears with a laugh. “I can’t believe I’m crying in a Stork Emporium.”

“Oops. And I don’t have a tissue. You’ll have to use your sleeve,” I joked, kissing his forehead.

“On my cashmere coat? I think not.” He smiled up at me with watery eyes. “If I haven’t mentioned this today, I love you.”

This time, I squashed him to my chest, rocking back and forth till he called uncle and shooed me away.

We chuckled, turning with hands clasped, to conquer new dad things.