Page 18

My rushed meeting with the council upon arriving at the town hall sets my nerves on edge. Sherman isn’t backing down on his bid to expand the council, and when the rest of the elders show up, it’s obvious to me that everyone has ulterior motives.

I just don’t know what they are. There is dissent here, and I have to figure it out.

I end the meeting quickly and leave, heading to the park to find Clara and Nico. I decide to ask Mother about pack politics later and follow up with Kit.

He’s always been someone I can rely on. He’s always eager to hear what’s going on in Quartz Key and lend advice. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.

Even though I know some elders—possibly even Mother—would be horrified at the idea of me asking advice from the alpha of another pack, I trust Kit. And I don’t think every wolf in Lycan Pass is out to take my territory.

My mood lifts the second I see Winnie and Clara standing by the field. They look pretty deep in conversation, so I jump straight into soccer practice, kicking goals all over the place to create utter chaos. The kids all tackle me, and I end up covered in dirt, buried under a pile of screaming wolf pups.

All the kids are laughing, but Nico’s smile hits me the hardest. Not just because he’s my son, but because there’s a sense of joy in him that seems hard-won.

He couldn’t be himself in the human world. Even though he still hasn’t found his place here, he knows he’s with his own kind… and with his family.

After the kids wrestle me to the ground, I buy everyone ice cream and hang out with them as their parents pick them up.

I feel more useful here than I do at the stupid council meetings. What better use is there of my time than taking care of our next generation?

As the others leave, I’m left with Clara and Nico, all of us sitting at the edge of the field, watching the sun go down.

“Did you have a good day, kiddo?” I ask Nico.

“I sure did! Aunt Winnie is the best. It was really nice of you to come and play with us, Dad. And buy us ice cream.”

“Don’t mention it, kiddo!” I say. “I want to be there for you every single day. I missed so much of your life, I don’t want to miss a second more.”

I see Clara look away, and I wonder if I said the wrong thing. Nico doesn’t seem to notice, though. He just holds my hand as we watch the sun begin to set.

“Have you had any trouble with your powers, Nico?” I ask.

Clara looks sharply at me, and I just shrug.

We have to ask. The last time his powers were out of control, it was a disaster.

“Well, I did have this weird feeling a couple of times,” Nico admits. “If I try real hard, I can force it to go away. Like, closing my eyes and wishing for it to stop.”

“That’s no good, Nico,” Clara says, stroking his hair back. “You can’t run from it, or deny it. It’ll just bottle up inside you until it gets so big, you can’t hold on to it. Then, when it does break free, it can destroy everything around you.”

“But I don’t know what else to do, Mom,” Nico says sadly.

“I tell you what,” I say. “Let’s go for a little walk in the woods, and we’ll see what happens if you let it go.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone!” Nico cries, sounding terrified.

“And you won’t,” I say firmly. “I promise. I’ll be with you the whole time, and so will your mom. I’d like to see you work with your wolf, too. The primal power of your wolf awakening, along with the witch magic flowing through you, must be very difficult to handle. The wolf part, I can help with, and maybe that will help with the magic, too.”

“Okay, Dad,” Nico answers, smiling a little. “Let’s do it.”

Clara still looks worried, but she follows us across the soccer field into the woods. I find a small clearing surrounded by young trees, a wide space well out of the way from any dwellings or roads.

“Okay, Nico,” I say, standing behind him. “Try focusing on the feeling. Where does it start?”

“Really deep in my tummy,” he answers.

“Good. Is it the same as your wolf power?”

“Not really,” he answers with a frown. “When I’m going to change, my skin feels like it’s burning, and my blood boils. Then it hurts—like, really bad. Like getting ripped open. After that, I don’t remember much.”

“Your wolf is ruling you,” I state. “That’s not uncommon at the start, especially if you haven’t been guided through your first shift. It shouldn’t be that painful, and with time, you’ll keep your awareness through the shift.”

“Okay,” Nico considers. “I don’t feel any of that now, though. Just this feeling in my tummy. Then my chest gets warm, it flows up to my hands, and that’s where I can usually stop it. I don’t know what happens if I let it go.”

“That’s what we’re about to find out,” I say, moving around to stand beside him. “I want you to focus on that feeling, Nico. Let it rise in you. Don’t hold it back.”

“Okay,” he says, closing his eyes.

At first, it doesn’t look like anything is happening. Then I notice orange flickers of light on Nico’s hands as he extends them forward. I watch in fascination as Nico frowns, keeping his eyes closed, but the bright glow slowly moves up his body until his hands shimmer.

“Okay,” Nico whispers. “Should I let it go?”

“Yes, go on,” I answer, feeling excited now.

Nico screws up his face and grunts, a bright flash erupting from his hands. Clara screams, and at the last second, I realize she’s in front of Nico, directly in the line of fire.

With a yell of dismay, I leap at Clara, slamming into her and throwing her to the ground. I keep her pinned under me as the flash goes over us. A powerful snap echoes through the air, as if lightning just struck above our heads.

I only made it because of my preternatural speed. Clara was helpless!

“Mom!” Nico screams, running over to us. “Are you okay? Mom?”

“I’m okay,” Clara says, soothing him. “It was my fault for not paying attention.”

“It was my fault,” I say firmly. “None of this is on you, Nico. I should have made sure the area was clear.”

“I don’t think I want to do that again,” he says nervously, his voice shaking.

“Hey,” I say, taking Nico’s shoulders and looking into his eyes. “You don’t have to be afraid, okay? I’m right here, looking after both of you. I know that was close, but we’re alright. Even better—we learned something! How about this time, instead of having your eyes closed, you focus on a tree or a rock?”

“I don’t know,” Nico says, looking at his hands. “I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“That’s exactly my point, son,” I say gently. “We need to find out what happens. That’s the only way we can keep you—and everyone else—safe.”

Nico nods. His face is tense but determined. I stand up and turn him away from us, keeping Clara behind me as I look for a suitable target.

Buried deep beneath the calm face I’m putting on for Nico, a boiling pit of fear threatens to consume me. Images of Clara’s broken, burned body crash through my mind, searing my nerves with panic.

I couldn’t handle it if something happened to her!

Nico looks over his shoulder, and I smile, giving him a thumbs-up. He smiles back.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Mom?” he asks.

Clara nods. “Perfectly okay, sweetie. I’ve got some dirt on me, and I’ve had better hair days, but I’m fine.”

Nico’s smile grows, and he turns back around. After a moment, he points to a decent-sized tree.

“Okay, Dad,” he says. “Should I just go for it?”

“Sure,” I say. “Just do the same thing you did before, but think about hitting the tree, nothing else.”

“Right,” Nico says softly. I watch the orange glow flicker across his body, rising through his chest and then intensifying in his hands. When the color begins to burn bright white, Nico raises his arms and lets the energy go with a little cry of effort.

A shimmer of energy rushes across the clearing, hurling leaves and dirt into the sky as if a tornado is ripping through the woods. I hold on to Clara as the bolt hits the tree, shattering it into sawdust.

For a moment, all I can do is stare. There is no wreckage, no roots or branches left. Only big piles of woodchips and dust.

“Wow, Dad,” Nico says breathlessly, looking at the destruction. “Did I really do that?”

“Yes, you did,” I answer, and Clara pushes past me to hug him.

“You did great, baby!” she says. “How do you feel?”

“Really good,” Nico says, looking at his hands. “I actually feel better than before, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”

“That means we should do it again!” I say excitedly. “Come on, kiddo, let’s see what you can do!”

I grab Nico’s hand and position him in front of another tree. This time, the process of drawing up the magic takes less time, and the bolt of energy he directs is much more focused.

“This is great, Dad!” Nico exclaims, laughing. “I don’t feel scared anymore!”

“Excellent,” I answer, hugging him. “We didn’t find out much while we were away, but we did find out that if you’re scared of your power, it will be a curse, not a blessing.”

Nico looks at his hands, his eyes wide. “I’m not sure it’s a blessing,” he says.

“Of course it is,” Clara counters, brushing his hair back and stroking his cheeks. “ You are a blessing, my love. So your power must be, too.”

“We just have to find something for you to focus on,” I say. “Something other than poor old trees. As good as this is, we can’t have you blowing up entire forests when you feel a surge coming on.”

“Yeah,” Nico agrees. “I feel like I’m all used up now, but it will come back.”

“And I still need to help you connect with your wolf,” I say. “You must have turned away from the moon because of your magic, but I promise, Nico, you will run with the pack by my side.”

“I felt this inside me, my whole life,” Nico admits. “But it wasn’t until my wolf woke up that it started to take me over. It was really scary, Dad, having those nightmares and stuff.”

I feel a sharp pain slice my chest, and I have to swallow a lump in my throat.

My son needed me, and I wasn’t there for him.

“I’m here now,” I say firmly. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Nico jumps into my arms, squeezing me as hard as he can. When I look over at Clara, she’s standing next to me with tears welling in her eyes. I hold out my arm for her, and she joins the hug.

Knowing that both of them needed me and I wasn’t there cuts me to my core. No matter what Clara says or does, I will always carry the blame for this because I didn’t look for her.

I should never have broken up with her in the first place. All of this is mine to carry.

I snuggle both of them closer to me, as if holding them to my chest can heal all the guilt shredding my heart.

I might not be able to heal the past, but I can be here in the present… and never, ever let them down in the future.