Page 5 of Best Man (Close Proximity #1)

TWO

ZEB

I hear the door opening behind me as I stare down at the paperwork on my desk.

“Are you not supposed to be halfway to the Cotswolds on a dirty mini-break with the office hunk?”

I look up over my glasses at Felix. I think about trying a frown, but it would just be a waste of my facial muscles. He’s been my assistant for seven years, and I know that nothing cows him. Nothing .

Instead, I grimace. “I’m going. I just…”

My words trail off and he shakes his head before sitting down on the chair in front of my desk.

“I was only joking about the dirty mini-break.” He pauses. “Well, actually I wasn’t.”

“What?” My voice is a bark of astonishment.

He shrugs. “I’ve always wanted to see you and Jesse together.”

I take off my glasses slowly and stare at him. “Have you been drinking this morning?”

He grins. “He’d be really good for you. So much better than bloody Patrick.”

“Would it be any good for me to say for the five-millionth time that I wish you wouldn’t talk about Patrick like that?”

He considers it. “No,” he finally says, and I slump.

“I’m sure my company details list me as the boss. I’m almost positive. Can you get the paperwork for me so I can check?”

He sighs. “You’re nominally in charge, but I’ve known you for far too long to take any notice. I’ve also known Patrick for far too long, but that’s just something between my therapist and myself.”

“He’s not that bad,” I say slowly, driven to stand up for him for some godforsaken reason.

“Zeb, he’s a selfish twat. He’s far too in love with himself to ever make a good partner for anyone. I’d send pitying thoughts over to his new bride if I didn’t have a sneaking suspicion that she’s exactly the same as him.”

I think about arguing, but some of what he’s saying does skirt perilously close to my own thoughts on the matter.

I sigh. “I know all that.”

“So, why are you being his best man? You spent five years doing that, and he rewarded you by cheating on you.”

A year ago I’d have flinched at that, but somehow, now it seems to have happened a decade ago. Like a distant memory. It’s how I know that I’m healed. “I have to,” I finally say. “I made a commitment to doing it, so I’ll go through with it.”

“Why did you promise?”

I shrug. “Because he was full of pretty apologies, and once upon a time I loved him.” I hold my hands up. “I honestly don’t know, but he caught me at a weak moment blathering on about wanting to be friends, and I gave in. There’s no going back. I can’t do that.”

“Zeb.” He hesitates, and I know he’s got a zinger in store. “Zeb, you’re not your dad. It’s a statement of pure fact that I’m giving you now. You are not him. So bending over backwards to not let your wanker of an ex down won’t mean you’ll slide into bad habits.”

I try to think of a clever answer but end up just shrugging awkwardly.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore,” I suggest, sliding the paperwork towards him.

“That’s the Hawley file. Get Simon to do it.

He’s got a degree in horticulture, and he’s got a good relationship with them, and they’re comfortable with him.

Also, make sure you pay Jesse and give him a bonus.

He’s doing me a huge favour at short notice. ”

He nods, accepting the paperwork. He’s not just my assistant. He’s the office manager and the company would fall into disarray if ever he left. He’s got a mind like a steel trap. He demonstrates that immediately. “I thought he didn’t want paying. That’s what you said yesterday.”

I shrug awkwardly. “I’d prefer to pay him and keep this–”

“Businesslike?” he offers sweetly.

I glare at him, trying silently to move him along. “Yes, of course, businesslike. What else would it be?”

“You should think about taking on a partner.”

I stare at him, reeling at the switchbacks of daily conversation with him. They leave me with mental whiplash. “Why?”

“How can I put this delicately?” I groan, but he carries on relentlessly. “Because we’re getting busier every week, and I love you, Zeb, but you’re better with the details than you are with the customers. You’re pretty shit with them.”

“ That’s your version of delicate?”

He shrugs. “We each have to make the best of our own pluses and minuses.” He grimaces. “The problem is that you’re too intimidating.”

I draw back, stung. “I am not.”

“I don’t mean personally,” he says, shaking his head in exasperation.

“I mean you’re very organised and thorough and somehow people feel a lot less when they’re with you.

Some of the customers are already feeling that when they come to us.

Try explaining to a hot as fuck man who has his own business and wears bespoke suits made on Savile Row that you need to hire someone to be your boyfriend for an office do.

” He holds his hand up when I open my mouth to protest. “I know you’re kind and so do they after a bit, but it’s not easy to confide what you see as a failure to someone who looks like they’ve only had sunny days.

Impressions are everything.” I stare at him and he smiles. “Just think about it.”

“I will.” I grimace. “God help me, but you do sometimes give good advice and I usually end up taking it.”

“Hope you do with this last bit, then,” he says cheerfully .

“Oh no,” I groan, covering my face. “I knew you hadn’t dropped it.”

“Oh yes. You’re going away with a fucking gorgeous bloke. If you get the chance, I want you to do what comes naturally.”

“You want me to organise my paperwork and colour code the filing cabinet?”

He shakes his head. “You’re hopeless.”

“I’m realistic. Have you actually seen Jesse?”

“Seen and salivated over. Yes.”

“Well, you know how he is.” He gazes at me and I shake my head in exasperation. “He’s twenty years younger than me, as fickle as the weather, and a total walking disaster.”

He looks at me for a long second and a mysterious smile crosses his face. “One day you’re going to listen when I talk to you. And when you realise that, you’re going to apologise for thinking I talk a load of crap every day and know far too much gossip.”

“I have no idea what is happening at the moment,” I mutter.

“Just at the moment?” he says tartly and then seems to relent.

“Jesse is actually a lot of things besides gorgeous. He’s also smart and, most importantly, he’s very kind.

” I stare at him, and he nods. “You know he is. You said it yourself the other day. Half the messes he ends up in are because he cares about people and he goes two steps further than anyone else to help them. He’s never met a stranger, he’s sociable, and genuinely interested in people.

He’s like a throwback to olden times. He should be in Miss Marple. ”

“Hopefully not as a dead body,” I grumble. “But he’d be in the midst of it if he was. He’s flippant and like a fucking butterfly.”

“He’s funny and he has a conscience,” he corrects me. “I’m sure you already know this, but it’s easier for you to pretend in your head that he’s stupid.”

“Why is it easier?”

He settles back in his chair and eyes me like I’m appearing before him in court. “Because you fancy him,” he says calmly.

“I fucking do not,” I start to splutter, and he holds up his hand. To my chagrin I immediately stop talking.

“You do, Zeb. You always have. Right from the first moment you met him I saw the sparks, and you’ve always been so protective of him.” He stands up. “I saw other things too.”

“What?” I say reluctantly.

“He fancies you too.” I close my mouth with an audible snap, and he smiles. “That’s me done.”

“I feel like getting on my knees and offering thanks.”

“Try getting on your knees and offering the gorgeous Jesse a nice blowjob.”

“Oh my God, I’m old enough to be his father.”

“He’s twenty-four, not a teenager, and what you don’t know about him would fill a football stadium.”

I stare at him. “And just what does that mean?”

“It means you should seriously consider doing him.”

“ Doing him . What a delightful turn of phrase you have. Have you gone through any workplace training? He’s my employee, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Pah, that’s a silly detail.”

“Says everyone who’s ever ended up in a tribunal.”

He waves his hand cavalierly and leaves my room on a tide of misplaced righteousness and Miller Harris aftershave.

I stare down at my desk. I need to go and pick Jesse up.

I think of his high-boned face, the neck-length shiny brown hair, and his warm brown eyes, and my mouth waters.

I call up the image of his long, wide-shouldered body and swear at the tightening in my groin.

Then I think of having him to myself for the next few days.

All of those warm smiles and eager curiosity, the silly jokes and that easy manner of his.

Despite all the shit going on in my private life, Jesse has always managed to cheer me up. Just seeing his face makes me smile.

I might speak about his butterfly tendencies, but he’s so much more than that.

There’s something very steadfast about him.

And something inherently very beautiful that has nothing to do with his looks.

He has a way of commanding your attention, and I’ve always left his company feeling lighter in myself.

I’m well aware that I’ve always had a small crush on him, but I put that to the side one day when Patrick seized on the subject of Jesse.

Apparently, I talked too much about him and Patrick objected.

I can still recall the argument that followed, and how, after that, I pushed my enjoyment of Jesse down into a hole inside me and turned the key.

It was easier all round for me to concentrate on his youth and put everything else aside. However, he isn’t a kid anymore. He’s a very handsome twenty-four-year-old. I shake my head. And I’m still twenty years older than him.