Page 23 of Best Man (Close Proximity #1)

“Have you wandered onto the set of Downton Abbey and just not realized?”

I snort out a laugh. “Eli,” I say in a warning voice .

“Well, sorry but really?” He pauses. “And you fucked Zeb and it was brilliant?”

“The skies opened and the angels wept.”

“Zeb?” he says again.

“Yes,” I say crossly. “ Zeb . You seem rather stuck on that one point. What about the incredible mess I’ve made of my life?”

“Well, at least you can say you fucked Zeb Evans. That’s a bloody major win in my book.”

Someone says something in the background and he laughs. “Now, boo, you know you’re my one and only.”

“Excuse me. Can you maybe stop flirting with your hot actor boyfriend and incidentally sounding like a complete douchebag and concentrate on my pain?”

“Sorry, sorry.” He pauses and his voice gets suddenly serious. “And you think he’s in love with his ex?”

“I’m pretty sure of it,” I say glumly. “He binned me off this morning.”

“Babe.” He sighs loudly. “Well, that’s just fucked up.”

“ That’s it ?” I say incredulously. “Well, I must say, don’t ever write a problem page. You’d be shit.”

He laughs but then goes quiet. When he speaks next his voice is firm. “Okay, so let me get this straight. He fucked you and now he’s having regrets and you have feelings for him?”

“ So many feelings,” I say dolefully.

“Jess, you must have known this was going to happen. He wears responsibility like it’s a fucking hair shirt. I don’t know what happened to him, but he’s as buttoned up as if he’s in a straitjacket.”

“I do know.”

“Was it bad?”

I shrug, forgetting he can’t see me. “Bad enough that it’s completely understandable why he is the way he is.”

He sighs. “Shit, that makes it worse. You can’t even hate the fucker.”

“I think I’m managing quite well with that at the moment,” I say glumly. “And if I waver, I just have to remember the way he looked at me this morning like he’d tracked dog shit over the carpet. ”

“He did what ?” His voice is low and dangerous.

“Eli, calm down.”

“No, you calm down. He gets to sleep with you and bins you the next morning. You, who’s so lovely and fucking gorgeous. The man’s a total fuckwit.”

“He says I’m too young for him. I’m too wonderful and he’s too old. He’ll drag me down and I deserve everything in the world. And blah blah more lovely stuff blah.”

“Jesus, I hate that wanker,” he hisses. “He can’t even be a complete bastard to make us feel better.”

I laugh and there’s silence for a second. “What am I going to do?” I say softly.

“Babe.” He pauses. “You still want him, don’t you?”

“How did you know?”

“You’ve wanted him for as long as you’ve known him.

That doesn’t wear off with one shag.” There’s a silence, and I listen to him breathe on the line.

In my mind’s eye I can see him standing in his kitchen with that wild mess of blond hair and kind face.

“Okay,” he says finally. “I want you to go and have breakfast first. You’re awful when your blood sugar goes down. ”

“Such a nurse.”

“You know it. An exceptional nurse in this case. It is, after all, how I landed my sugar daddy.”

Gideon, his boyfriend, says something indignantly in the background, and Eli laughs. “Go and have breakfast, Jess, and then I want you to clear off somewhere for the day.”

“Why?”

“If I know Zeb, he’ll be looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Because just as I know you’ve always fancied him, I equally know he’s always fancied you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Whenever we’ve been at parties, you’re the first person he seems to look for, and he watches you when you don’t know it.”

I feel warmth fill my chest. “So, how is going out going to solve it? ”

“He won’t know where you are, and that’ll drive him mad. Let him have a day of having to ponder what he’s done. It’ll do him good.”

“But what about when I get back?”

“Well, that’s up to you. You can collect your stuff and fuck off because you’ll be leaving the agency soon anyway, or–”

He pauses. “Or what?” I ask, not liking the first option.

“Or you can fuck his brains out and see if he can replace them with enough common sense to know what he’s going to lose if he carries on being a twat. And Jesse, whatever you do, you know you’re always welcome here, don’t you?”

Gideon says something in the background, and Eli mutters a reply. Then he comes back on the line. “Gid says for you to come and stay with us for a while. Get your head on straight. We’d love to have you.”

“Won’t that interfere with your twenty-four-hour-a-day sex fest?”

“Nah, Gideon really needs to find a hobby apart from my arse.” I can hear Gideon say something, and Eli laughs. It’s the same laugh I’ve heard most of my life that got me into trouble constantly. “Come to Fowey if you’re sad,” he says. “I miss you loads.”

“I miss you too,” I say, touched by the conviction in his voice. “Thanks, babe.”

“Anytime. You know that.”

I end the call and stare at the lake, contemplating my options for a few minutes. Then an evil smile crosses my face. I’m not a quitter, so that really leaves me with only one option.

ZEB

It takes me an hour to get back in the room, during which I’m humiliated by the receptionist’s smirk when I have to descend to the lobby dressed only in a sheet to ask for a spare key.

However, after grabbing a shower and dressing in jeans and a dark green T-shirt, and sending at least ten messages to Jesse which are ignored, I finally make my way into the breakfast room and look around anxiously for him. I slump as I realise he isn’t here.

“Can I get you a table, sir?”

The voice comes from my side, and, as I turn to the waitress, I spot Max. “No, it’s okay,” I say quickly, giving her a weak smile. “I’m going to sit with him.”

“He’s a popular man this morning,” she says, smiling.

“Oh, erm. Oh,” I say in dawning realisation. “Was my friend sitting with him, by any chance? Tall with brown hair.”

“You mean Jesse?”

I smile because that’s so him. Everyone always seems to know him, wherever he is. “That’s the one.”

“Yes, he sat with the other gentleman before he left.”

I toy with the idea of asking her where he’s gone, but abandon it as a couple come in behind me. Leaving her to seat them, I walk quickly over to Max.

He looks up and smiles coolly. “Ah, here’s Casanova. I’m surprised you could walk this morning.”

I groan and throw myself into the seat opposite him. “I take it Jesse told you, then.”

He shakes his head. “Zeb, you’re a bloody fuckwit.”

I blink. “Please don’t hold back.”

He leans forward, pointing his fork at me in quite a threatening manner. “I don’t know when your brain vaporized but it must be a recent thing. What the hell were you thinking of?”

“Thank you,” I say in vindication and then I sigh. “It was such a stupid thing to do. I just got caught up in the heat of the moment and the next thing I knew we were in bed and… Why are you looking at me like that?”

He shakes his head in apparent disbelief. “That’s not the mistake I was referencing. I’m not talking about you sleeping with him, for fuck’s sake.”

“Then what are you talking about?”

“This morning’s behaviour,” he says loudly and then lowers his voice as some people at nearby tables turn to stare at us. “I’m talking about you acting like we’re in the plot of Poldark , and you’ve just despoiled a virgin.”

I shoot a quick glance around, but everyone has gone back to their breakfasts. “I panicked,” I mutter. “It wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever done. ”

“You’re telling me. It was unkind.”

“Oh, I see you got the full story,” I say, stung because Max doesn’t look like this at me. He’s always looked up to me. “Jesse didn’t waste much time.”

He looks even more disappointed, if that’s possible, and my stomach churns. “He hardly said anything. I just got the whole picture from a few words and his general air of being kicked in the fucking teeth.”

I sigh and scrub my hands down my face, digging my palms into my eyes. “Shit, I knew I hurt him. I handled it so badly.”

“Yes, you did, and that should tell you something right there.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you never handle things badly. You’re always perfect. Perfect dress. Perfect manners. Perfect way to deal with every situation.”

“Nice to know you noticed.”

He doesn’t take the bait. “And now look at you running around the foyer in just a sheet, offending Nina and Patrick at every turn.”

“Who told you that?”

“I’m a journalist,” he says primly. “I’m an expert at getting information.”

“It’s not Iraq.” I pause. “So, you’re agreeing with me, then?” He stares at me, so I elaborate. “I’m behaving very foolishly. The whole thing is a big mistake, and after I’ve apologised to Jesse, hopefully we can go back to our own lives and…”

“No.”

I nod. “Exactly. Wait. What? What do you mean no?”

“You’re missing my point, Zeb. Those things aren’t bad.

They’re actually good.” I stare at him in absolute confusion.

“Zeb, I love you. You’re my brother in all but name.

But Christ, you’re buttoned up. You’re such a fucking grown-up.

” I draw back, stung, and he seizes my hand.

“I know what your dad was like and much as I loved him, it wasn’t easy living with that.

” I stiffen, and he lifts my hand and kisses it swiftly.

“Babe, you’re wonderful and one of the most important people in my life, but you’ve worried me over the last few years.

You hardly laugh anymore. You’ve become obsessed with keeping things on an even keel. ”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“There is if that’s all there is. You only appreciate an even keel when you’ve been through a few storms. You steer away from them, Zeb, and sometimes you shouldn’t.

” He sighs as I stare at him. “Life shouldn’t always be pleasant.

It shouldn’t always be nice. Life should be lived to the utmost, and you’re just not doing it anymore.

Do you know what I’ve seen this week?” he says fiercely.

I shake my head, a little afraid to provoke him at the moment. “I’ve seen you laugh.”