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Chapter Twenty-One

Jasalyn

T HE E LORAN SETTLEMENT IS MASSIVE. I expected maybe half a dozen tents around a fire, maybe a few more secure structures, but this place isn’t anything nearly so temporary. Small A-frame homes with grass roofs line the streets, and the town center has a gathering area, a pavilion, and an altar.

A quarter hour passed before Kendrick joined us outside. He’s been quieter than normal, and I can’t stop looking at him. He’s usually covered in the belts and straps of various weapons. Even in Mordeus’s dungeons, Kendrick was in riding leathers. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him in something so casual as the cotton tunic and trousers he’s wearing today.

He’s even more handsome like this somehow, and my heart tugs hard at the truth. I like seeing him like this because I won’t get much of it. Every day is a reminder that my time with him is limited. He’s working to go back to Elora, and once I help him get there, I’ll be back at the palace, and then I’ll be... then I’ll be nothing at all.

“Did you get enough to eat?” he asks as we start down the street toward the village center.

I wrap my arms around myself. I haven’t even been awake for two hours, and I already feel like I could crawl back into bed and sleep. “You don’t need to coddle me.”

In front of us, Remme and Skylar are arguing under their breath.

Kendrick tucks his hands into his pockets. “I’m not coddling. You were ill, and I want to make sure you fully recover.”

I bow my head. “Well, thank you, but you needn’t worry. I’m fine.”

His brow pinches as he studies my face, and I can tell by his expression that he can see my exhaustion.

“Does my sister know about this place?” I ask, more to change the subject than anything else.

“I would imagine so,” Kendrick says, “though I can’t say she’s aware there are more Elorans here than anywhere else in her court.”

“How did that come to be? Did the fae welcome them?”

“This village was ransacked by Mordeus five years ago,” Skylar says, glancing at me over her shoulder. “He looted the homes and businesses, then burned it to the ground when he heard a rumor they’d hosted his nephew, who, of course was the one who should’ve taken the throne when Oberon died.”

My stomach pitches. “That’s horrible.” I’ve always known Mordeus was cruel—never had a reason to doubt it—and yet I’ve never given my sister enough credit for the good she did when she took the throne. Maybe I didn’t want to understand.

“This village was only one of many he destroyed,” Kendrick says.

“So Mordeus didn’t notice when Elorans moved in and took over?”

“We were more strategic than that,” Remme says. He turns toward me and walks backward so he can look at me as he talks. “We didn’t really start rebuilding the town until your sister took the throne, and at that point many fae were coming out of hiding and rebuilding areas that had been destroyed by Mordeus—either directly or by his oppressive laws.”

“Jenkish,” Kendrick calls, waving over a brown-skinned older man with white shoulder-length hair. He’s not glamoured, I realize, and I wonder if it’s because humans feel safe to appear as they are while they’re in this settlement.

“Hale,” he says, smiling broadly and nodding at me. “I’m glad to see your friend recovered.”

Kendrick turns and extends a hand toward me. “Jas, this is Lons Jenkish, my father’s oldest friend. Lons, allow me to introduce you to Princess Jasalyn, child of Mab.”

I frown at Kendrick. Surely this old friend of his father’s doesn’t care that I’m not just a human glamoured to look fae—that fae lurks in my blood. I hate the idea of meeting these Elorans and having them see me as something they’re taught to fear. “Just Jas is fine. I had nothing to do with my ancestry.”

Lons’s eyes go bright, and he laughs. “This one’s sharp, isn’t she?” His eyes sparkle when they land on me. “Even if you didn’t have such a unique bloodline, you would be special to me. Any friend of Hale’s is a friend of mine.”

“Same,” I say softly.

Remme grunts behind me. “You never extended that courtesy to me. I had to work to win your heart.”

I glance toward him. “But you did, so why are you fussing about it now?”

“All those lost days, Princess,” Remme says, winking.

Lons turns to Kendrick. “It was lucky Felicity was available to stand in for the princess. Do you know—is that going well?”

As if sensing my tension at this question, Kendrick takes my hand and gives it a hard squeeze. “Better than expected.”

Lons’s shoulders drop. “Good. The last thing we need is an angry shadow queen tearing apart our camp looking for her sister.”

My heart twists at the thought. She would. If my sister realized Felicity was an impostor, Brie would tear apart her whole court to find me, and she’d make an example of anyone who stood in her way.

“You will be our guests of honor tomorrow night,” Lons says.

I glance toward Kendrick. I assumed we’d be leaving in the morning. “What’s tomorrow?”

“The people of Ironmoore want to host a celebration to wish us luck on our journey,” Kendrick says.

I wonder if he even knows he’s still holding my hand, or if he realizes how much the tiny gesture means to me in this place where they all seem to know each other but I’m the stranger.

“It’s the least we can do,” Lons says, but then his gaze catches on our joined hands, and his expression turns stern for a beat before he pastes on a smile.

I take my hand from Kendrick’s to press it against my stomach. Happy and full of fluttering butterflies moments before, now it’s sinking. I didn’t imagine the disapproval in his eyes. Is it because he sees me as fae or something else?

“Thank you for everything, Lons,” Kendrick says.

“Son, it is we who are thanking you. We owe the future of Elora to you.”

“We haven’t done anything yet. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

Lons claps Kendrick on the back. “I have full faith in you.” He turns to me and gives a courteous nod. Am I imagining it, or are his eyes a little less bright than they were when we were introduced? “I’ll let you alone to your evening. We look forward to celebrating tomorrow.”

We wander the streets for a while longer, Kendrick pointing out where they have school for the children and the grassy village square that will host the celebration tomorrow night. He doesn’t take my hand again, and I try not to think about it.

I can’t tell how he feels about our kiss. It seems so long ago now, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Does he think it was a mistake? And if he does, does the reason have anything to do with the way Lons looked at our joined hands?

I’m so tangled in my spinning thoughts that I barely notice the sun is setting until Remme says he’s going to the archives to check on Natan, and Kendrick says we should go back inside.

Skylar excuses herself, and Kendrick walks me back up to my room, closing the door softly behind us.

The space suddenly seems too big and too small all at once. It’s impossible to be this close and not want him closer, but I have no excuse to press my body into him the way I long to.

I clear my throat and blurt out the first thought that comes to mind. “So, Natan and Remme? They’re... lovers?”

Kendrick stiffens and glances over my shoulder, as if checking to make sure the door is closed. “Don’t say that.”

I frown. “Because it’s a secret?”

He steps closer. “You were young the last time you lived in Elora,” he says, his voice low, “but did you know any men who loved each other?”

“No, though we didn’t really know many people at all. Brie and I were busy trying to make the payments on our contract.”

He draws in a long, ragged breath. “A contract you signed when you were children? The contract that allowed your aunt to sell you to Mordeus?”

I can’t hide my flinch at his name.

“We’re going to make those contracts a thing of the past. That will be a day to celebrate.”

“So, Remme and Natan?” I prod.

“I ask you not to say it because if it becomes a habit, you might say it somewhere that could get them killed. The rulers of Elora do not allow men to love other men. It is a crime punishable by death.”

My heart twists with the unnecessary cruelty of it. “That’s... It’s senseless. There are children starving, and they are busy persecuting people for who they love?”

“One of the countless reasons it’s past time for change.”

I think of the tenderness I witnessed in the forest. Why would anyone want to have less of that in the world? “I will help you, Kendrick. Whatever I have to do. I knew my life was hard at home, but I don’t think I understood the extent of... I didn’t know.”

He’s quiet for a long time, and he spends the silence searching my face. “You couldn’t have.”

“I can be trusted with a secret, but between you and me, I am sorry I can’t tease Remme just a little. Natan is way out of his league.”

I see his laughter in the shaking of his chest more than I hear it. He takes another step closer, and I have to crane my neck to look up at him.

“They are more than lovers,” he says. “They are a bonded pair.”

“Elorans can’t bond.”

“Can’t they?”

“Well, they can bond to fae, but not to each other.”

He lifts his hand to my face and sweeps his knuckles across my cheek. Everything in my chest feels like it turns inside out. “Keep an open mind. You’ve been made to think so little is possible because it keeps you weak. You’ll be amazed when you see just how much magic rumbles beneath the streets of Elora.”

“Magic strong enough to make my ring,” I say softly.

He scans my face. “You’re tired. There’s a handmaid coming around soon. She’ll draw you a bath and get you anything else you need, but I want you to relax tonight and tomorrow. You’re still recovering.”

“And where will you be?” I won’t be so pathetic as to ask him to stay with me.

“Right next door if you need me.”

I study his face—those ice-blue eyes, and his strong jaw, his full lips. I want to curl up against his chest, want to trail my thumb along his jaw and over his rough stubble. “You haven’t kissed me again.”

His gaze dips down to my mouth then my breasts, before sweeping back up. Straightening, he meets my eyes. “Jas, after I return to Elora, our lives will be complicated. You’re the shadow princess, and I—”

I press my fingers to his lips and shake my head. “Don’t. I don’t want to be her. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Let’s not do that.”

He gently pulls my hand away. “It matters. You deserve to know what I can and can’t offer before anything else happens between us.”

“I’m not asking for anything.” Panic climbs up my throat. Before Kendrick was back in my life, the future was something I wanted to dodge because the days and hours stretched ahead of me like a prison of their own. Now I don’t want to talk about it because I’ve already ruined it.

I don’t want to talk about it because the regret might destroy me. I can’t let myself waste the days I have left.

“You should,” he says. “You should ask for everything because that’s what you deserve. I’m being selfish by even being here now. By standing this close. By looking at you. By wanting you. I’ve been selfish this whole time.”

“Your future is in Elora. I know that.” I lift onto my toes and sweep my lips against his, too eager to touch him again, too desperate to feel the bloom of heat in my chest.

I want to wash away the chill I used to relish, want to banish the ring’s numbness from my heart.

His big hands rest on my hips, and I lean into every point where the soft curves of my body connect with the hard planes of his. He closes his eyes. “You’ll be the death of me.”

My stomach shimmies, and I smile. “Time your kisses right, and I think you’ll be okay.” I shift against him, and he curses. I might not have any experience with men or this kind of physical connection, but I know enough to know he wants me—or at least his body does.

He cups my jaw and skims his thumb over my bottom lip. “I’m trying so hard to behave myself, but it turns out my will is not as strong as I once believed.” He leans forward, mouth ghosting across mine. “Why can’t our fates align? Why did the Mother put you in my path if I’m going to have to let you go?”

How do you know you have to let me go? But I don’t ask. He’s human, and he thinks I will be fae in a few short months. And what I will be instead... Well, perhaps that’s even worse.

I don’t want to think about any of that, so I slide my hand into his hair and pull his mouth down to meet mine. When our lips touch, he sighs against me.

In nine months’ time, he will be back in Elora, and I will be gone. I can pull my hair and gnash my teeth over the foolishness of my mistakes, or I can enjoy the final days we have together. I would have willed myself dead in Mordeus’s cell if Kendrick’s voice and stories and calming words hadn’t found me in the darkness.

I only have this moment because of him, so I will revel in it with him.

He trails his hand down my hip and along the outside of my thigh before grabbing my leg behind the knee, pulling it up to hook over his hip. At the first press of his body, I nearly melt, but he’s there, holding me up, his mouth exploring mine.

His hand tangles in my hair, tugging my head to the side as he trails kisses down my neck. Shivers explode along my spine.

Kendrick glances toward the door, then rests his forehead to mine. “Your handmaid will be here soon.” His fingers deftly fasten the top few buttons of my blouse.

“When did those come undone?” I ask, watching his strong hands and wishing we hadn’t been interrupted.

The corner of his mouth twitches up in a lopsided grin. “Let’s just say it’s a good thing I can’t stay.”

“Hmm. We might have different definitions of good .”

He groans. “Don’t tempt me, Princess. I’m already struggling with restraint when it comes to you.” He fastens the final button, then presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to my clavicle just above his fingers. He sucks lightly before pulling away, and my whole body goes tight and hot, but then his mouth is gone and he’s backing toward the door. “Enjoy your bath. I’ll see you in the morning.”