Page 41

I lower my hands from my face and look him in the eye, hoping he believes every word I say. "You mean everything to me, Callan. You always have, and I would never throw away what we had for anyone—not even for Sebastian."

He listens quietly, watching me with those eyes that used to know every inch of me.

"But…" I swallow hard, forcing the words out. "I also don’t know if I can let go of what’s happening with Sebastian either. I didn’t expect it, didn’t even want it. But it’s there, and it’s real in a way that scares the shit out of me."

Callan leans back against the cushions, processing what I just said. Then he nods slowly, eyes on his lap. "Okay."

"Okay?" I echo, almost in disbelief.

"Yeah," he says, voice still calm. "I meant it when I said I’m not mad. You don’t owe me a perfect version of yourself, Avery. You’ve been living in this storm while I’ve been piecing my mind back together in this place. You don’t have to have all the answers right now."

I blink, throat tightening. "But what if I never figure it out? What if I hurt you?"

He reaches for my hand. "Then I’ll deal with it. I’m still figuring my own shit out, too. I don’t remember everything, and maybe when I do, things will be clearer. Or, who knows, maybe they'll be messier. I don’t know. But I’m not going to pressure you into choosing right now."

I nod, squeezing his hand. "You’re a better man than I deserve."

Callan gives me a crooked smile. "I don’t know about that. But I know I don’t want to lose this, no matter what version of us we end up with."

A quiet sense of peace and understanding settles between us and for a second, we just watch each other. Me, wondering if he's remembering, and him, likely trying to.

He shifts slightly, a small smile tugging at his mouth. "Tell me something."

"Hmm." I tap my chin, grinning. "The sky is blue."

He laughs. "No shit, Sherlock. I meant, tell me something I might not remember. Something about us."

"Oh." I smirk. "So that’s what you meant." I tilt my head, eyes scanning the ceiling as I dig through my memories, searching for my favorite one.

"Got it," I tell him. "I woke up to you grinning like a maniac, shoving donuts and coffee into my hands. You told me to eat and get dressed because you had somewhere you wanted to take me. I had no clue where we were going, but you just kept telling me to trust you, so I did."

A slow smile stretches across my face as the memory plays in my mind like a movie. "We hit the road, and I spent the entire fifteen-minute ride trying to guess, but you wouldn’t give me a single hint. And then, just when I was about to give up, I saw the sign?—"

"North Ridge University’s Archery Range," he cuts in, his eyes bright. "You made me shoot…and I fucking sucked."

My hand flies to my mouth, stifling a gasp as tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "You remember?"

"How can I not? I was a terrible shot."

"Yeah." I laugh through the tears. "Yeah, you were."

He looks at me in a way he hasn't looked at me in a long time, and my heart swells.

"I remember thinking to myself," he says quietly, "how was I so blinded by hatred that I didn’t see how much I really cared about you all those years?"

"Callan,” I whisper.

"And I remember thinking, right then and there…" He leans in until our noses brush. "I never want to lose this girl."

My heart is pounding so fast I can barely breathe as I stare into his beautiful eyes.

The next thing I know, his familiar mouth is on mine. It’s raw and passionate. It's a kiss that says… I need you and I’m still in this.

Memories of my own flood my mind. Late night talks, stolen glances, whispered promises, and I realize how much I’ve missed this—missed him. More importantly, I realize how much I don't want to lose him either.

Just then, my phone buzzes on the couch beside me and Callan pulls back slowly, his breath still mingling with mine. I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth and mumble, "Sorry about that," as I reach for the phone.

The second I see it’s a text from Sebastian, my pulse spikes.

Sebastian: We won, baby! We fucking crushed Westgate!

My heart jumps. "They won," I gasp, grinning as I throw my arms around Callan. "They beat Westgate!"

"Yes!" Callan beams, his arms wrapping tightly around me. "I knew my boys could do it."

For a second, everything feels like it’s falling back into place. Maybe not perfectly and maybe not without chaos, but it’s a start.

"Hey," Callan says, "I found something the other day. Figured it might make more sense to you than it does to me."

He leans forward, reaching for a black backpack near the loveseat, but it’s just out of reach so I get up, grab it, and set it beside him.

"Thanks," he says, unzipping it and fishing out a folded piece of paper. He hands it to me and I unfold it, immediately laughing when I see the list.

Benson

Liam

Hayes

Detective Klein

Julian

"No way." I grin, holding it up. "I remember this. We made this list in my dorm," I say, shaking my head with a smile. "We were trying to figure out who was stalking me. We argued about every single name. You were so convinced Hayes should stay on it, even though it made zero sense."

"Nah," he says with a smirk. "He’s still a Devil and still dating my sister, so that’s enough reason for me. Keep him on."

I laugh again. "Got a pen?"

He pulls one from the front pocket of his bag and hands it to me. I set the paper against my knee and start making edits. "Some changes need to be made."

I cross out one name and scribble in two new ones.

Benson

Liam

Hayes

Detective Klein

Julian

Jeremiah (he seems sketchy)

A scorned past member of the Ice Lords

I pass it back to him, and his brow furrows as he reads it. "Jeremiah Redmond?" He chuckles. "That guy doesn’t have the balls to kill a fly."

"Maybe," I say, "but he’s had balls he definitely wanted me to handle, so his name stays."

Callan’s eyes widen. "Wait. He hit on you?"

"It was harmless," I say, brushing it off. "More annoying than anything."

We end up talking and laughing until I glance at the clock and realize it’s nearly midnight.

"I should go," I say, though I really don't want to leave.

"Yeah," he says with a stretch. "I've got therapy bright and early so I should get some sleep."

I stand, smoothing my jeans. "I’ll see you soon, right?"

"I hope so."

As I turn to go, he grabs my hand and I turn back around.

"I just want you to know…" His eyes soften. "I don’t think I ever really hated you, Little Devil. Not when just one kiss can make me feel like this."

My breath catches. "Callan," I whisper. Then it hits me. "Wait…what did you just call me?"

He blinks. "Little Devil? So?"

"You didn’t start calling me that until after I came into your locker room last month."

A slow smile tugs at his lips. "Guess we need to do this again soon. The more time I spend with you, the more I get my life, and you, back. Can I see you again tomorrow?"

"There’s nowhere else I’d rather be." I lean in and kiss his cheek, my heart soaring as I leave.

As I walk to my car, there’s a lightness in my chest that hasn’t been there in a while. The visit with Callan went better than I could’ve hoped, and so far tonight, there have been no disasters.

For the first time in a long time, it feels like I’ve made it through a night untouched.

I climb into my car, exhale slowly, and start driving back toward the hockey house, my headlights cutting through the darkness.

I'm halfway there when I realize something isn't right.

Glancing back and forth from the rearview mirror to the road, I wait to see it behind me, but there's only darkness.

Where the hell is the van?

Something tugs at my gut, a feeling I’ve learned not to ignore.

I ease into a parking lot, roll to a stop, and fish the mic from my purse. Holding it close to my mouth, I say, “I’m heading back to the house. Are you guys coming?”

When there's still no sign of them, I turn the car around and retrace my route, scanning every corner like they might appear. The pit in my stomach deepens as I drive past the center again and spot the black van still parked in the exact same spot.

Drake didn’t follow me.

My pulse spikes as I fumble for my phone and shoot a quick text to Sebastian.

Me: Where’s Drake? He didn’t follow me back.

His reply comes fast.

Sebastian: I’ve been trying to call him but I'm not getting any responses from him or the two other guys.

I sit there in the driver’s seat, heart thrumming in my ears.

Me: What should I do?

There’s a pause, and then another text comes through.

Sebastian: Already on it. I texted Brogan and Hayes. They’re on their way to stay with you tonight.

Another…

Sebastian: And you better appreciate me because I just invited a Devil into my house. That’s love, baby.

A laugh slips out before I can stop it. Even through panic, he always finds a way to make me laugh.

The next thing I know, my phone lights up with Sebastian’s name.

I answer instantly, "Hey."

"Talk to me while you drive home," he says, voice calm.

I grip the wheel tighter, heart hammering. "Please tell me you don't think something happened to them."

"I’m sure they’re fine," he says. "Probably got shitfaced and passed out. Or maybe they ditched the van thinking you were spending the night with Callan."

I chew my lip. "I don’t like this."

"I know," he says, then his voice softens. "How was your visit with Callan?"

"It was nice," I admit. "I told him something I only just admitted to myself…that I have feelings for both of you."

"Well, shit." He exhales faintly. "I think I caught the fucking feeling bug, too."

I smile. "Really?"

"Can’t you tell?"

"I can. It’s just nice to hear you say it out loud."

"So what now?" he asks. "The ball’s in your court, Little Lamb. But no matter what, I’m on your side."

I could cry hearing those words. Relief like I've never known fills me and I exhale, letting out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. "So you’re not mad about Callan?"

"Hell no. That’s my boy. Besides, I think we just have really good taste in women."

I laugh and some of the worry that's been weighing me down begins to fade. Callan and Sebastian are both being so understanding about this situation; it makes the guilt almost nonexistent.

"I’m here," I tell Sebastian as I pull into the driveway. "Please keep me in the loop about Drake. I have a really bad feeling about all this."

"I will, baby. You just worry about yourself tonight. I’ll deal with everything else."

"Can’t wait to see you tomorrow," I say, a rush of butterflies tightening in my chest.

"Same."

I end the call and shift the car into park in front of the house. Brogan and Hayes are already waiting on the front step. Hayes has a big ass scowl on his face and a pizza box in his hands.

Brogan sees me and rushes forward, throwing her arms around me.

"You scared the hell out of me," she says, squeezing me tight as I close my car door.

"I’m okay," I assure her.

She pulls back and nods toward the house. "Come on. Let’s get inside and make Hayes comfortable in the Lords’ house while we watch our favorite movie."

I poke her shoulder. "You better not fall asleep on me this time."

Brogan laughs. "Can’t make any promises. But I can promise Hayes won’t sleep a wink. He’ll be too busy making sure his girl and his girl's best friend are safe."

My phone dings with a text and I steal a quick look.

Sebastian: Sweet dreams, Little Lamb.

I smile at his message, take a deep breath, and walk into the house, still uncertain, but no longer alone.