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Chapter Twenty-Two

A fter a quick stop at the dorm for an outfit change, Brogan and I are living it up. The bass is thumping, lights are low, and my third mojito is going down way too easy.

I'm surprised Legends is so busy, considering the Devils didn't play tonight. Nonetheless, it's shoulder to shoulder in here.

Brogan and I managed to snag a high-top table near the back, tucked enough into the corner that I don’t feel like I’m being watched by half the damn room. I've heard the whispers about how I'm staying at our rival team's hockey house and no part of me is prepared to deal with that drama tonight.

Brogan clinks her glass against mine with a smirk. "To hockey wins, hot boyfriends, and holidays we’ll probably regret."

I laugh, the sound bubbling out of me with more ease than it should. "God, I needed this."

"You and me both," she says, downing half her drink. "Hayes is already blowing up my phone. He’s mad I left without him."

I raise a brow. "And yet, here you are."

"Yup." She grins, leaning in. "Because if I’m going to survive bringing him home for Thanksgiving, I need at least four mojitos and a best friend reminding me I’m not insane."

"You’re not insane," I say, slurring just a little. "You’re just...emotionally ambitious."

Brogan throws her head back laughing. "That is the nicest way anyone’s ever said I have commitment issues."

We giggle like idiots for a solid thirty seconds before she looks at me…really looks at me. "So, are we gonna talk about it?"

I blink. "Talk about what?"

"You’ve said Sebastian’s name like six times in the last five minutes. And I know that glazed-over, smitten look. That’s not nothing."

I groan and drop my head into my hands. "Don’t say his name like that. It makes my stomach do things."

"Oh my God," she gasps. "You like him."

"No, I don’t," I snap, too fast. "I...hate him. So much so it makes my teeth hurt. At least, most days I do."

"But?" Brogan leans in, laying an arm across my shoulder.

"But sometimes…" I pause, swallowing another mouthful of mojito while I try to find the right words. "I guess sometimes he says things, or does things, that don’t feel like the version of him everyone else sees. And that version gets under my skin, makes me question things. Makes me feel...like maybe there’s more to him. "

Brogan is quiet for a beat. "And Callan?"

My heart lurches. "Callan has my heart, he really does. But Sebastian…it’s like he keeps poking at it.

Chipping away at something I thought was already spoken for.

There’s this coldness to him, but every now and then, I catch a glimpse of what’s underneath, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s like that for a reason. Like maybe he had a rough past."

I don’t even know why I’m telling her all this. Must be the…three? No, four mojitos. Definitely four.

If it were any other guy, she’d already know every sordid detail. But this isn’t just any guy—this is her brother and his best friend, and that makes this whole situation messy.

Brogan nods slowly, drawing her finger through the condensation on her glass. "Ya know, you’re not the only one who’s wondered why he is the way he is."

My brows pinch together. "What do you mean?"

She hesitates, eyes flicking toward the bar before settling back on me.

"Callan mentioned it once, real offhanded, but it stuck with me. He said Sebastian’s dad was bad.

Like really emotionally vicious and manipulative.

It was just him and Sebastian—no siblings, no soft place to land.

Callan said hockey isn’t just a sport for him; it’s his way of surviving.

It’s the only thing that’s ever really been his and he throws everything into it because it’s the one place he has control. "

The words hit like lead in my gut. So much about him slides into place, like I had all the pieces to the puzzle in front of me and I just needed to turn them over to see where they fit.

"Jesus."

"I’m not saying it excuses how he acts, but it explains a hell of a lot. Like why he pushes people and thrives in chaos." She shrugs, sipping her drink while watching the door for Hayes. "Maybe it’s because that’s all he’s ever known."

I lean back in my chair, ice swirling in the bottom of my glass, heart beating too loud in my chest.

"Shit," I whisper. "That actually makes me feel worse."

Brogan smiles softly. "Yeah, welcome to liking complicated men. It’s a full-time job."

We order another round and fall into a lighter chat about professors and Hayes' taste in music, but my head is still stuck in the conversation about Sebastian.

I stare into my drink and think about him. Not just the asshole he wants everyone to see, but the boy behind the mask. The one who was forced to learn early how to survive an emotional war.

My own childhood wasn’t perfect, but at least I had two parents who showed up and made me feel like I mattered. At least I did for a while.

No wonder Sebastian clings to control like it’s the only thing keeping him upright.

No wonder I can’t shake him. Because despite having a good upbringing, I also have a lot of trauma.

My mother doesn’t know how her words have destroyed a part of me I don't know if I can ever get back, but Sebastian knows that feeling.

The rejection and the hurt speak deeper to us.

So why is he still lying to me? Why is he trying to push me away? And why do I run every time he gives me an out?

Brogan and I somehow end up on the dance floor, clutching our fifth drink and each other, laughing like we don’t have a care in the goddamn world. The music pulses through my body, and everything feels soft and light. My head spins, but in the best way.

"Brogan," I giggle, gripping her wrist as we stumble through a sway. "This might be the happiest I’ve been all week."

She throws her head back, blonde waves bouncing. "Same girl. Same."

We keep dancing, engulfed in laughter when I nearly trip over her foot. At some point, someone hands us shots. I don't even know what it is. Could be tequila, could be rocket fuel. I’m too far gone to even care. I toss it back, shrieking at the burn. Definitely tequila.

Just as I lower the shot glass, I see Drake. Or is it Killian? Nope. That one is Drake, and he's alone this time, lurking by the bar like he’s pretending to enjoy the scenery, but I know better.

I stumble toward him with a crooked smile, dragging Brogan behind me. "Well, well, well," I slur, pointing at him. "If it isn’t one of the Lords' little guard dogs."

Drake raises a brow, clearly trying not to laugh. "Castle."

"Don’t ‘Castle’ me. Did Sebastian send you? Or was this Aidric’s idea?" I sway a little, bracing myself on the bar. "Or are you just here because you missed me?"

"You’re drunk," he says, more amused than annoyed.

I lean in dramatically, finger on my lips. "Shhh. Don’t ruin the mystery."

He sighs and pulls out his phone. "I’m calling Sebastian."

"Ohhh, betrayal," I croon, clutching my chest. "Right in front of me? That’s cold, Drake."

He ignores me, muttering nonsense into the phone. "Yeah, she’s here." He looks at me, expression stoic. "Oh yeah, she's wasted—drunk, dancing, slurring."

I laugh. "Tell him I said he’s a manipulative dick with cute dimples."

Drake pockets his phone, grinning like this is the most entertaining thing he's seen all night. "He’s on his way."

"Of course he is," I grumble, going up to the bar to order another drink like I haven't already had enough. "Why wouldn’t he be?"

Brogan pulls at my side and I turn to see her, cheeks flushed from dancing. "Hayes is on his way to pick us up."

"Apparently I need to wait," I deadpan. "Sebastian’s coming."

Brogan gives Drake a look that could cut steel, then loops her arm around mine. "Come on. Let’s go outside and get some air."

Before I can even order another drink, I'm being steered outside.

"Hey," I whine. "I needed another one of those drinks before I have to deal with my enemy."

Brogan rolls her eyes and pushes me through the doors.

"Sit," Brogan says as she lowers us both to the curb. We plop down like teenagers after prom, heels in hand and faces tilted to the sky. I rest my head on her shoulder, eyes fluttering shut for a second.

"You know," I murmur, "you’re a good best friend."

She bumps my knee with hers. "And you’re a train wreck."

We stay like that, with our heads together, streetlights casting shadows overhead, until two cars pull up at the same time.

Brogan seems to care, but I don't. Honestly, I just want her shoulder back because I was about to fall asleep.

I blink a few times, trying to clear the fog when I see Hayes step out of his car. He glances at me then…Sebastian.

"You better not let anything happen to my girl’s best friend," Hayes says, voice stern.

Sebastian scoffs and shakes his head, exhaling a long breath. "Relax. I’ll keep her in one piece."

Hayes doesn’t look convinced, but Brogan kisses his cheek and runs her hand down his arm, calming him. "He'll take care of her because he knows I would cut off his balls in his sleep if he didn’t."

Sebastian winces and Brogan winks at him, but it isn’t friendly. God I love her .

I squint up at Sebastian, who’s standing over me now with that unreadable expression of his.

"Well," I say, wobbling to my feet. "If it isn’t Prince Charming in all his moody glory."

He steps closer, catching me by the elbow when I stumble. "Let’s get you home, Little Lamb."

"Ugh," I groan. "You’re lucky I’m drunk or I’d fight you on that nickname."

"Good thing you’re drunk then." One of his smiles I love so damn much greets me, and I find myself walking to his car without making him struggle to catch me. This is the Sebastian that confuses me, the one who makes me question what I want out of life. Because before him, I only wanted Callan. Yet, I can’t say the same now.

Callan is still important to me and I want him too, but is it normal to want two men with your whole soul? Because I feel torn and at this point, even though I’m mad at Sebastian, I can’t imagine my life without his sarcastic comments in it.

Life before the Ice Lords was boring and I was just walking through it, content to stay on my path. But with them, I feel like there is a thrill to life. And while it could do with one less stalker, I think I might like the exhilaration these men add to my life.