Page 115 of Behind the Shadows

Finally,clean and fed, I sank into Holland’s couch, and she settled in next to me. I turned to look at her and trailed my fingertips down her cheek.

“Thanks for feeding me. I feel a bit better after eating.”

“Of course. How’s your head feeling? Do you need some Advil?” She kissed my knuckles.

“I’ll get some later. I want your help, Holland.”

Her expression softened. “Whatever you need.”

“The Pied Piper has been in our lives for a long time without us even realizing it. I learned just how much today.” I swallowed the lump of betrayal down, willing my food to stop churning in my gut.

“I got answers. You were right. I was brainwashed, programmed. When Mother shot me up with heroin, the Pied Piper brought in a man to reprogram my mind. I saw myself kill a young redhead and a man take a bullet to the forehead. Lies. All of it. They kept me drugged and played movies, convincingme I’d done horrible things. Then Mother would keep me in the basement, chained, alone, and hungry. But that was better than her carving up my skin, forcing me to repent for sins I never committed.”

“Her depravity continues to shock me. She was sick and straight up evil. I’m so glad she’s gone. I don’t regret any of what I did.”

I leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss. “Me too. I thought we made a good team.” I attempted a cocky grin, but it faltered.

I grew silent, preparing myself to tell her the worst part. “I buried my cross where you picked me up. I’ll have to get it later.”

She shook her head, confused. “Why?”

“Because the Pied Piper has used it to track and spy on me for years. I’ve had that cross since I took it from Mother when I was a teenager.”

Her cheeks paled, and I assumed she was thinking what I had.

“He swore he didn’t watch when I used the cross on you.”

She swallowed hard. “Do you believe him?”

I rubbed the back of my head where the throbbing distracted me.

“Yeah. I don’t think he lied to me. He said he’d planted me to keep an eye on Death.”

Her hand flew to her mouth and she gasped. “Oh, Kip. I’m so sorry.”

“Not nearly as sorry as I am. I betrayed the only family that ever fucking mattered. The ones who saw me—really saw me—and stayed anyway. I brought the Pied Piper into our lives …” My words were heavy with guilt and grief.

“No. No, that’s not true. He was with us all along. You said it yourself. Death will understand.”

I barked out a laugh. “Not so sure about that. He’ll probably beat my ass. He might not kill me, but I don’t know.”

“Don’t say that, babe. You’re brothers. I’m sure Ella and Dope can help manage the situation.”

“I’ll need to talk to them first and let them know. I’ll need Dope to help me with my cross anyway. I asked the Pied Piper why he was telling me about how he used me and the crucifix, and he just said he didn’t need me anymore at least not the way he used to. He also said it was time to come home and work for him, both Death and me. You too.”

Her hands fisted and a flush crept up her neck. “Fuck him. Fuck him for all the pain he’s caused. Fuck him for selling me and hurting you. It’s a twisted game to him. If he breaks us down, he can rebuild us how he wants. It’s Psych 101. He’s a master manipulator, but I’m his daughter, and I will figure a way to bring him down.”

I grabbed her face and kissed her, hard. “I love you, Holland. I love your mind. Your body. Your soul. He’s right about one thing. We belong together.”

She kissed me back, her lips warm and inviting against mine. “I love you too, baby. We will figure this out,” she said against my mouth.

I released Holland and settled back against the couch, placing my palm on her thigh.

“What else did he say?” she asked.

“Just filled in the gaps of my blackouts. I was meeting him and telling him what Death was up to, reporting on him.” A lead ball formed in my stomach, and I felt ill all over again.

“Jesus. I thought you were still being controlled. What about now? Did he say?”