Page 14 of Beg For Me (Morally Gray #3)

SOPHIA

I t’s the third Tuesday night of the month. Which means I’m at the Ivy restaurant with my best friends, Val and Evelyn, eating dinner, drinking wine, and gabbing.

It’s been our ritual since we graduated college. The three of us went to UCLA together, met around the keg at a party at a frat house, and have been inseparable ever since.

We took Val to the ER after someone spiked her beer with Rohypnol that night. Trauma bonding can really cement a friendship.

“Bitch, if you eat all that salsa before I can even get a chip in there, I’ll cut you.”

I smile at Val. “Sure you will.”

“I one hundred percent will!”

“With what? Sarcasm? You’re the least violent person I’ve ever met.”

She twirls a lock of her curly dark hair between two fingers and smiles back at me. Behind a thick pair of glasses, her big green eyes shine. “I could be violent if I wanted to. I just don’t want to. Nobody’s got time for that.”

“I’ve got time for that,” says Ev, swirling a glass of French white. She’s the fair one of the group, with flaxen hair and skin so pale, it glows. Tall and willowy, she looks like an elf queen from a Tolkien book. “In fact, I almost murdered someone today.”

“Again?” Val doesn’t seem surprised.

“Listen, this guy had it coming! Wait til I tell you what he did.”

“I know what he did. He breathed wrong, and you decided he deserved to die.”

Ev thinks about that for a moment. “Pretty much. Perimenopause is no joke, girls.”

I laugh. “Tell me about it. I had to get up in the middle of the night twice last week to change my nightgown because it was soaking wet.”

Val makes a noise of sympathy. “You’re getting hot flashes?”

“No, just the night sweats so far. My days haven’t been affected. You?”

“Big time. I was standing in the checkout line at Whole Foods, hoping nobody would notice the boob sweat soaking through my blouse. I’m gonna have to start wearing undershirts.”

Ev snorts. She manages to make it sound elegant. “At least you’re not dealing with the mood swings yet. I’ve got three new personalities, and they’re all batshit.”

Val’s smile is affectionate. “Babe, you were always batshit.”

“Yeah, but now I’m weepy, sleepy, snappy, and batshit. This is why I call BS when people say God is a woman.”

Val sighs. “Here we go.”

“Shut up. First, a woman would never make mistakes like cancer, aging, and putting a man’s G spot inside his ass but then making anal sex a sin.

But also, a female deity would never make women go through menopause.

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, your life is finally under control, and you’re thriving, boom !

Bye-bye estrogen, hello facial hair, belly fat, and total loss of libido.

I feel like my whole body just pulled the welcome mat and said ‘Fuck it. We’re closing up shop. ’”

“Loss of Libido? Are you and Brian still having sex?”

“He’s having sex with me, but I’m lying there thinking about all the things I’d rather be doing.

I literally have no interest at all. I’d feel bad for him, but I’m too busy being annoyed by every word that comes out of his mouth.

He caught me staring at him across the dinner table the other night and asked what I was thinking.

I couldn’t tell him I was wishing he’d move to Alaska, so I just poured another glass of wine and tried not to cry.

Twenty minutes later, I was enraged by a cat food commercial and shouting at the TV.

My poor kids. They must think their mother was abducted by aliens and replaced with a shrew. ”

She shakes her head in disbelief. “I asked my mother how long this crap lasts, and she said for her it was ten years before she felt sane again.”

We murmur our collective horror at the situation. The waiter arrives with our food and distributes the plates. I order another round of drinks for the table, then attack my chicken salad. I’ve been ravenous all day.

That might have something to do with last night. Carter gave me an amazing orgasm with his mouth, but when he left, I still wanted more.

I wanted everything.

Which is why I’m glad he left when he did. If I woke up with him in my bed this morning, there might have been no turning back.

I have a bad habit of falling for men after I have sex with them, as if my heart isn’t located in my chest but somewhere deep inside my vagina.

We chat for a while, catching up, until Val asks around a mouthful of salmon, “Anything new with Nick?”

I’m about to answer when she chokes on her food, coughing fish out onto her plate.

“Jesus, girl, you eat like a buffalo.”

Her eyes watering, Val wheezes, “Fuck off, Evelyn. You have never once seen a fucking buffalo eat.”

“You know what I’m saying. You’re a mess.”

“And you’re a nutcase. Look into hormone replacement before I unfriend you.”

“I don’t want to give myself cancer, thank you very much.”

“HRT doesn’t cause cancer. Read the studies.”

“Yeah, they didn’t think DDT caused cancer either. Look what happened there.”

Because I know they’ll bicker back and forth like an old married couple for an hour, I distract them before things go completely off the rails. “Nick took Harlow to Cabo for a vacation.”

“Just the two of them?” asks Ev.

“Oh no. Brittany went with.”

Recovered from her coughing attack, Val shudders. “How weird for Harlow that her wicked stepmother is almost as young as she is.”

“Brittany’s not wicked. She’s just misguided. I actually feel sorry for her.”

Ev sips her wine and shakes her head. “You’re a saint. I would’ve clawed out her eyes the second I found out they were sleeping together.”

“She wasn’t the one committing adultery. Anyway, I’m better off now.”

Thinking of last night, I smile. It isn’t lost on Val. She’s especially attentive to people’s expressions. I think she would have been be an incredible criminal interrogator, but instead she’s a contract attorney.

“What’s that smirk for? You put new batteries in the vibrator?”

“I had a date. It went well.”

“Yeah? How well?”

“It ended in an epic orgasm.”

Brows raised, Ev and Val look at each other, then back at me. Ev says, “Keep talking before I stab you.”

“We went to dinner at Nobu—”

“For God’s sake, cut to the chase! Nobody cares where you went to dinner. Talk about the epic orgasm. I need to live vicariously.”

“Okay. Well, he was on his knees. I was standing with my back against the front door. Then he kissed me goodnight and went home. It was lovely.”

I eat more salad as my girlfriends gape at me. Then Ev turns to Val and muses, “Does she think I won’t break every plate on this table if she doesn’t keep talking?”

“There’s not much more to tell.”

Ev pounds her fist on the tabletop, making the silverware jump and clatter. “Are you kidding me? I will carve out your heart with that bread stick.”

“Maybe Val’s right about the hormones, love. You’re maniacal.”

When she grabs a bread stick from the wicker basket in the middle of the table and waves it menacingly at me, I hold up my hands in surrender, laughing. “Okay, fine. What do you want to know?”

“What’s his name?”

“Carter.”

The girls share an approving glance. Val says, “Sounds like a hottie.”

“Oh, he’s a hottie all right. He’s so hot, he gives me third-degree burns.”

“How did you meet him? Online?”

“I’ve actually known him for a while. We attended a business meeting together last year. He’s on the board of another company that wanted to buy mine. Then I ran into him again at the gym over the weekend and he asked me out.”

Ev says, “So he’s a suit.”

“Why do you sound disapproving?”

“Nick’s a suit too.”

“So? Am I only allowed to date blue-collar workers now?”

“I’m just saying you have a type. Hot suits with giant egos and a tendency for dickish behavior.”

“I can’t deny Carter has an ego, but he definitely isn’t dickish. He’s actually quite sweet.”

“Ego and dickery go hand in hand, dummy.”

“No, I’m serious.”

Val purses her lips and issues a challenge. “Like how is he sweet?”

I think about it for a moment. “He’s vulnerable.”

“What does that mean?”

“He talks about how he feels. He’s very in touch with his emotions.”

Ev looks incredulous. “In touch with his emotions? What is he, a family therapist?”

“I already told you he’s an executive.”

“This is highly suspicious. What man our age do you know who talks about how he feels? None . They’d rather eat shards of glass and walk a mile barefoot over burning coals.”

Val agrees, nodding. “Sounds like he was just trying to get into your underwear.”

“You’re right, Ev. I don’t know any men our age who talk about their feelings. But he’s not our age.”

Val pulls a face. “You’re dating a geezer? How old are we talking? Seventy?”

“No.”

“Older? Oh God. Can he even get it up? Is that why he went down on you, then left?”

“He’s twenty-nine.”

Total silence reigns for a few seconds, then Val whistles. “You’re my hero.”

Ev says, “You’re my super hero. Twenty-nine? That’s like a million years younger than us.”

“I think your math’s off by a hair.”

She laughs. “It might as well be a million years. What did you talk about with a guy in his twenties? The MTV awards and video games?”

Feeling defensive of Carter, I say, “He’s a professional, Ev, not a skater boy. He’s educated. He even speaks Japanese. And he sits the board of the largest and most powerful media company in the world.”

Frowning, Val cocks her head. “Are you talking about McCord Media?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God. You’re dating Carter McCord? ”

“Don’t make it sound like a natural disaster. He’s perfectly nice.”

“Nice?” Val cackles. “Yeah, he’s nice all right. He’s nice all over town with every woman he can get his hands on. The guy’s a total player.”

My stomach tightens. “How do you know?”

“My hairdresser dated him for a hot minute. I mean, all they did was fuck, so I don’t think we can technically call it dating, but he ghosted her after she said she wanted to be exclusive.”