Page 60 of Before Eve

How stupid was I thinking I could have some sort of normalcy? What was I even doing getting involved with West? I don’t know what’s worse…hopelessness or having a taste of what’s good before it’s snatched away and ugly reality returns.

Two hours go by filled only by him driving, me staring out the window, and the music filling the car. We don’t speak. We don’t even look at each other. It’s awful.

As we pull into the hotel, my phone vibrates with an email from Brynn, and I breathe out a sigh of relief at finally getting her response.

I make a beeline for the elevator and the security of my room. West just stands in the lobby and stares after me. I’m just as confused as he looks, but I want to read her email in private.

As soon as I’m in my room, I bring it up, reading:Can’t talk. It’s not safe.

Oh, God, no. What does that mean? Please don’t let Brynn be in trouble.

Are you okay?I respond back and just stare at the phone, waiting, waiting, waiting.

But nothing comes in.

The Orlando concert comes and goes, I fall into bed late, and in the morning I load up in one of the tech vans. I just can’t bring myself to ride on the Mack Daddy bus after everything that happened.

West: Why are you avoiding me?

This is the text that comes in as we travel from Florida up to Indianapolis.

Anne sits beside me, and I catch her glancing at my phone. I ignore her and type back:

Me: Just need some time.

He doesn’t send me anything after that. I bring up my email inbox and stare at it the whole rest of the way. But still nothing comes in from Brynn.

When we get to Indianapolis, I step from the tech van. West stands across the parking lot, looking so confused and hurt that I almost go to him. Almost. But neither one of us makes a move, and then he turns first and walks away.

You’re real. That’s not easy to find in this business.That’s what he said to me, and I scoff as I recall his words.

I’m not real. I’m a liar. Maybe the best thing is to just disappear again. Run. It is what I do best.

CHAPTER 31

I’m okay. Stop emailing me. I’ll explain when we talk.

This comesin from Brynn the next morning, and I read it over, over, and over again.

She’s okay.She’s. Okay.

Anne approaches. “What the hell is going on with you?” she demands.

“Nothing.”

She narrows her pierced brows. “Oh, really? Then why, I ask, have you gone from sucking lips behind a soundboard to openly ignoring West?”

“Who said I’m ignoring West?”

“You’re something else.” Anne throws her hands up. “Now you’re going to deny it?”

I turn away, grab a cable, and start coiling it, more to give my hands something to do than anything else.

“I asked West what was going on,” she says.

My hands still. Oh, no, did he tell her what he saw? Whathe felt?

She points at me. “Aha! You don’t like that I talked to him, do you?”