Page 68 of Before Broken Vows

I walk to his window, which he rolls down immediately.

"He's ready," I say simply.

He nods, opens the car door, and steps out.

The father of my child. The most dangerous man I've ever known. The only man I've ever truly loved, is about to meet his son for the first time.

I can see it in his eyes. The overwhelming feeling that tears open hearts and forces you to face everything you ever wanted and everything you were afraid to lose.

I recognize it, because I have it, too.

Theo stands firm, staring at the house, and I reach out and grab his hand without even thinking. "Come on, Theo. He's waiting."

21

STASSI

The walk back inside feels endless, my hand still gripping Theo's as we walk toward the playroom.

"He's really into dinosaurs right now," I say to Theo, not sure why I'm keeping my voice so low. "And blue is his favorite color. He doesn't like when his food touches. He sleeps with a night light. He?—"

"Stassi," Theo cuts me off. "You don't have to cram three and a half years of knowledge into thirty seconds. We'll have time now."

I nod. He's right.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous," I say.

He looks down at me. "It's okay. So am I."

We reach the doorway. Xander is sitting exactly where I left him, intensely focused on his coloring book. Sunlight catches in his dark hair, highlighting the same hints of chestnut that Theo's has in summer.

Theo stops. His hand tightens around mine, a painful squeeze that I welcome because it means he hasn't let go. I feel his breath change. His free hand twitches at his side, curling and uncurling.

He doesn't speak. Doesn't move. He just looks. Like something in him broke, and something else began to rebuild.

I glance up at his face and see the muscles in his jaw flex. I've known Theo long enough to recognize when he's overwhelmed.

"Xander," I say softly, breaking the silence.

Xander's head snaps up, crayon still pressed to paper. When he sees Theo, he immediately scoots backward, dropping his crayon.

I gently release my hand from Theo's and walk over to our son, kneeling beside him. I place my hand on his small back and rub in small circles.

"Baby" I say, trying to keep my tone light, though my heart pounds so hard I'm sure Theo can hear it.

Xander’s eyes go between me and Theo.

"This is your daddy," I say and motion toward Theo. I gently take Xander's hand and we stand up. "He’s really excited to meet you."

Theo remains still as stone in the doorway. But his eyes are anything but cold.

Xander says nothing. He clutches his dinosaur drawing against his chest like a shield, his small fingers crinkling the paper.

I watch both of them, tension building in my throat until I can barely swallow. Three heartbeats trapped in the same moment, none of us knowing how to move forward.

Finally, Theo takes a single step forward. Then another. He moves slowly, like he's afraid to frighten us. When he's about ten feet away, he crouches down to Xander's eye level, balancing on the balls of his feet.

"Hello, Xander." His voice is soft. "My name is Theodore, but everyone calls me Theo. I'm..." He pauses, the word getting caught somewhere between his brain and his mouth. "I'm your dad."