Page 17 of Before Broken Vows

I'm not entirely sure why, but I decide to follow him. I cut through the kitchen and across the living room to the hall leading down to the study. The door's cracked open, and I know that's where he went.

I stand like a statue for what feels like ten minutes, debating what I should do. My brain says one thing, my heart says another.

This time, I follow my heart.

I open the door, and he looks at me.

"I forgot you were here," he says, and it feels like he pulled the gun he's holding and pulled the trigger.

"I thought I heard you come in," I say, my voice quiet, not wanting to tell him I'd watched him from the library.

"You should be resting," he says, his tone firm.

"I've been sleeping for hours and now I'm wide awake from the time change," I say, not moving from the doorway. "Have you eaten?"

The question comes out so domestic, so normal—like I have a right to care.

"What do you want, Stassi?"

I clear my throat, trying to find something inside me to stop from wanting to curl up in a ball. "I was just—" I stop, then start again. "I saw Elena saved your dinner. I thought maybe we could talk."

"Now you want to talk," he says with a sarcastic laugh. "Act like nothing? Just chat over dinner?"

I look down, my fingers twisting together. "I deserve that."

"You deserve—" he stops himself this time. "Fine. You want to talk? Talk. Tell me where you've been."

"I've been surviving," I say. It's mostly true. Maybe more than I admit even to myself.

"That's not an answer."

I finally take a step forward. "It's the only one I can give you right now."

He slams the glass down. "Not good enough."

"Theo—"

"Do you have any idea what it was like?" The words burst out of him. "You were just gone. No warning, no goodbye, nothing. I looked for you. I had people searching for months. Here. Chicago. Christ, I even thought you were dead."

My eyes widen. I always wondered what he did. How soon after I left did he realize I did him a favor? "You looked for me?"

Theo gets up and walks over to me, stopping just short of touching me.

"Of course I fucking looked for you. What did you think?"

I take a step back. His towering presence frightens me slightly.

He drops his hands and rubs his forehead.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he says, his voice the calmest I've heard.

"No, no. I know," I say but don't move.

Theo takes a step back and sighs. "I just want to know what happened to you, why you're here, and what kind of trouble you're in, so I can deal with it and you can just disappear again."

I look at him, search for something—understanding, maybe. Something to help me even process what’s going on. But I'm not finding it.

"It's complicated," I say.