Page 6 of Beautiful Nightmare (Scared Sexy Collection #5)

W hat have you done?”

I barely make it through the portal before giant clawed hands grab my shoulders and shove me against a wall.

Maybe I should be relieved to recognize Ralph, but the disappointment coming off him in noxious waves ruins any chance of that.

“I fed. You should be happy.” The words come out small.

I know this isn’t how I’m supposed to feed.

There are rules and regulations for every type of interaction with humans.

You get your job and you do it. You don’t deviate .

He leans forward and inhales deeply. Sneezes.

“Oh, Gemma, no.” Ralph looks at the portal that just closed.

“We can fix this. You’re full enough that you can cloister yourself in your rooms until the stink of this fades.

No one has to know. We’ll switch your human for one of mine so this never happens again. ”

Give Caleb to Ralph, who wears the same form that scared him so much when I donned it? I’m already shaking my head. “It’s wrong to scare him. He works with children, Ralph. He does good in their world. If he’s losing sleep because of terror—”

“Gemma.” Ralph shakes me sharply. “You’re not talking like a demon right now. You don’t smell like a demon.”

“I don’t know what that means.” I shove his hands off my shoulders. “I fed on his lust. It wasn’t fear, no, but it was still demonic to do so.”

His shoulders drop. “But you didn’t only feed on his lust, Gemma. You fed on his fondness, on his caring.”

I blink. “That’s impossible.”

“No, it’s truly not.” The defeat in his tone scares me more than anything else he’s done or said so far. “Switch humans with me. Keep your head down. Do your job.”

I register how kind Ralph is being right now. He’s still attempting to look out for me, despite all the ways I’ve crossed the line. If I were a smart demon, I’d take his offer and ... spend the rest of my life choking on the acrid taste of fear.

There’s peace in finally facing the truth you’ve been avoiding for your entire life.

Peace and no small amount of mourning. Caleb isn’t the first who’s seen me truly; I wouldn’t have been so isolated if I could hide better.

But Caleb saw me and embraced my truth, rather than shunning me for it.

I smile up at Ralph even as my ribs feel like they’re cracking into a thousand pieces.

“I can’t do it, Ralph. Even if I wanted to give him up, I hate scaring people. I hate lying. I hate manipulating.”

His sigh rattles in his empty chest. “I’m going to be sad to lose you.”

Because I’ll be disappeared. I can’t help looking at the empty space where the portal used to be, wishing I’d had a little more time with Caleb.

A lot more time, if I’m honest. I know it’s greedy, but I want to know him, to make him feel just as seen as he made me feel tonight.

I’ll miss you. “Just get it over with, please.” Hopefully it won’t hurt. I don’t like pain that much.

Another of those deep sighs and Ralph takes my shoulder with one hand. “This way.”

I try to be brave as he guides me down a hallway I’ve never been in and to a portal that shines with a strange silver light. I mostly fail. I’m shaking so hard, my teeth are chattering. “What is this?”

He squeezes my shoulder. “I’m going to miss you, Gemma. Keep your chin up. It won’t be all bad. Probably. Goodbye.” Ralph shoves me through the portal.

I scream before I can remember I’m trying to be brave and curl into a ball. The pain will come next, fiery or icy or maybe just sharp. Except ... it doesn’t. Nothing happens at all, except I land on a solid floor.

“If you’re quite done with the theatrics, we can get moving.”

I peer through my claws up at a tall humanlike being. They’re nearly as tall as Ralph, with blue skin and a short crop of golden curls, but otherwise are missing any of the delightful little flourishes demons prefer. Because they ... aren’t a demon? “What is this?”

They sigh. “Demons never explain things before they toss you lot through the portals. We give a full briefing before we send our misfits over.” They shift, drawing my attention to the clipboard in their hand.

“Gemma, is it?” They glance at the board.

“You fed off unsanctioned emotions from the human you were assigned.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“They never do. But don’t worry, we’ll get to that. I’m Raven, by the way.” They motion long fingers at me. “Up, up, we have a lot to do and little time.”

Since I don’t seem in danger of immediate death, I rise slowly and follow them down a tiled walkway nearly identical to the one I just left behind. “What is this place?”

“You’re an angel now,” Raven says briskly.

They move at such a quick pace, I’m struggling to keep up.

“Same dance, slightly different tempo. While your original brethren prefer to feed off the quick and lazy emotions, we angels spend time investing in humans and reaping the mass rewards of true emotions.”

Raven sounds like a bit of a snob, but my head is spinning too much to bristle on behalf of demons. “I didn’t know angels fed off emotions.”

“Of course not.” They push through a door.

“It’s bad press if people realize we’re functionally the same as demons.

The higher-ups prefer us to be delineated.

” They spin and run a critical eye over me.

“The hooves, claws, and horns have to go, though the rest of your form is fine. Proper number of eyeballs and limbs.” At my slack-jawed stare, they sneer.

“Humans get precious about such things. It’s fine if you’re angling for a jump scare, but if you want to preserve a relationship and mine their emotions, we’ve found it’s best to present a more familiar—if fantastic—form. ”

Even in my shocked state, something quickly becomes clear. “This is where demons who are bad at their jobs disappear to.”

“Bad at their jobs.” Raven scoffs. “It never ceases to irritate me that they present it like that, but ...” They wave their hand.

“Essentially, yes. Demons feed off a specific set of emotions. Angels do the same with a different set. Crossing that line results in the experience you just endured. I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out further. ”

Angels become demons. Demons become ... “I’m an angel now?”

“Semantics, but yes.” They pull a packet of paper from their clipboard and shove it into my hands.

“Take this to the end of the hallway and speak to whoever’s on staff at the moment.

They will get you set up with lodgings and a schedule to revisit”—another brisk glance at their clipboard—“one Caleb Sullivan.”

Just like that, the floor seems to drop out from beneath my feet. “I get to see Caleb again?”

“You did mine his fondness and caring for you to feed, did you not?” Raven raises golden brows.

“That’s not a connection to be wasted. If things change and he’s no longer a good fit for you, we’ll place you with someone else.

Unlike the demons, our limit is three humans.

It’s difficult to maintain meaningful relationships with more, at least for our purposes.

That packet will tell you all you need to know. ”

“I, uh, thanks?”

“Don’t thank me. Keep it moving. I have another one coming in shortly and can’t linger.” They turn without another word and rush off.

And so begins my reeducation in what it means to be an angel.

In truth, it’s not so different from being a demon, no matter what derision Raven holds for the world I was born into.

Angelic society is run damn near identically.

The only exception is that they focus on deep relationships with humans.

I suppose it makes sense now why guardian angels are focused on comfort instead of doing literally any guarding.

A week later, I’m standing in front of a portal and hoping my heart doesn’t beat right out of my chest. When I step through, it’s not into Caleb’s bedroom in the middle of the night.

It’s into his kitchen with the midday sun shining through the windows.

He sits at a small table, a bowl of cereal in front of him, and drops the spoon the moment I appear.

I hold up my hands. “I know I look different, kind of, but it’s me.”

“Gemma,” he whispers. He’s on his feet in an instant and around the table, pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. “When you didn’t come back, I feared the worst. Are you okay?”

“Um, yes.” I hug him back, inhaling his sheer relief. “I guess I’m an angel now.”

“ What? ”

I quickly bring him up to speed. Through it all, he doesn’t stop touching me, finally linking his fingers through mine as I finish. I glance at the stairs. “But, like, we can still have sex if you want. We don’t have to, though! It’s just not forbidden or anything.”

He’s looking at me strangely, and I suspect it’s going to take me some time to fully understand the flavor of his more subtle emotions. I bite my bottom lip to keep from babbling on. Finally, Caleb says, “I have the day off.”

“Oh. Did you want me to leave and come back later?” Did he have plans?

Part of my new training was how to shift my body to be properly humanlike so I can go out in public— public!

—if the situation calls for it. I just didn’t expect to use the new skill so quickly.

I still haven’t figured out toes, and while my hands can pass a cursory glance, it’s best no one stares at them too long.

Even so, I made active progress there, and that’s more than I can say for most of my previous training.

“No.” He glances at our linked fingers with a frown and seems to give himself a shake. “I know shifting is a little painful, but I’d like to take you out. It’s Halloween.”

“Halloween?” I’m familiar with the celebration, of course. Demons love this time of year. I might not be a demon any longer, but surely I could enjoy it too? With Caleb? “What are you going out to do?”

“There’s a new scary movie. I was going to see it this afternoon, and then one of the local grade schools is hosting a trunk-or-treat for the kids.” He smiles. “It’s really great seeing them in their costumes.”

“And you want me to come with you?”

“Yes.” He squeezes my hand. “If you want to.”

“Of course I do.” The pure glutting of emotions I got from him last time is still sustaining me.

It takes no effort at all to concentrate on turning my skin a boring peachy color.

I leave my hair purple since plenty of humans wear bright colors.

Theirs are just chemically dyed and mine is magic.

I doubt most of them can tell the difference. “Like this?”

Caleb blinks. “Oh. Wow. Okay, that was fast and easy.” He grins suddenly. “I’m really excited to get to spend more time with you.”

I didn’t realize how much anxiety I was harboring about talking to him again and things changing until it dissipates like the morning mist. I find myself grinning back at him.

“I’m really excited to spend more time with you too.

And not just for sex, though I would very much like to have sex again, because that was phenomenal. ”

He blushes charmingly. “I’d like that too. After our date.” Caleb clears his throat. “We still have a couple hours until the movie starts. Where do you want to go first?”

“Everywhere!”