Page 2 of Beautiful Nightmare (Scared Sexy Collection #5)

I t only takes two days for the hunger to start again.

Humans are assigned based on a number of bureaucratical policies—demons love bureaucracy—and the condensed version of it is that seniority is everything and I have none.

So I get one human and only one. Initially that knowledge comforted me; I wouldn’t have to go into a bunch of new houses and find out exactly what scares a bunch of new humans.

That was before him .

I shift from hoof to hoof in front of the portal.

Ralph’s got his own hungers to see to, but he said he’d be here when I’m done.

Another thing that seemed great when I first heard it, only for me to realize it’s backfired.

I have no one to shove me through the portal, and I can’t seem to make myself take that first step.

Portals are summoned for their respective demons in little alcoves to provide privacy. I think that’s why? It’s something I’ve been grateful for time and time again, because it’s never a smooth process to talk myself up to taking this first step, even if Ralph is there to lead the way.

My stomach grumbles, the sound bringing with it a memory of my human’s .

.. lust. I want to taste it again. I want to devour it in great, greedy gulps.

The problem is that I’m supposed to scare him, and even if I wanted to turn him on, I don’t know how I did it in the first place.

Surely I can’t re-create the experience?

I definitely shouldn’t want to re-create the experience.

“Come on, Gemma,” I mutter to myself and surge forward before I can think too hard about moving. The portal spins me to pieces and shoves me unceremoniously back together, dropping me into a now-familiar dark room.

The window is closed tonight, the air still.

Just like before, the human is lying on his back, his arms outstretched in a sure sign of safety.

That awful guilt pricks me again, but I make myself move forward to take him in more fully.

His blankets are pooled at his waist and tangled around his long legs.

One bare foot is exposed, and I stare at his toes for a long moment.

I’ve tried to form my own a few times in the past, but toes are so weird , and they always turn out wrong and make it hard to walk.

His toes are nice, though—square and creating a neat little stairstep from big to smallest.

He shifts in his sleep and I freeze. I’m not ready. I don’t have a proper plan, despite thinking about this endlessly for the last forty-eight hours, prodding the memory and wondering where I went so wrong.

“The net, Gemma.” I don’t mean to speak aloud, and the soft sound of my voice jars him awake. He starts to sit up, but I’m faster, launching my magic at him and freezing him ... half sitting up. “Fuck.” I drop my head and curse, not even bothering to keep it internal this time.

He makes a noise that is most certainly not a moan of fear.

Even as I tell myself to turn around and leave, I lift my head.

He’s staring right at me, his eyes shifting as much as the magic allows.

There’s heat in their green depths, the kind of heat that signifies exactly what happened last time. He’s not scared of me. He’s turned on.

“What is wrong with you?” Without thinking, I wave my hand and shift the magical net around to free his face.

He works his jaw and swallows visibly. “Um. Hi.”

“I asked you a question.” I dig frustrated hands into my long mane of purple hair. “You’re supposed to be terrified. A monster is in your room, holding you frozen, and threatening to suffocate you. Normal people would be terrified.”

“Yeah, probably.” He smiles a little, though he’s gone pale enough that his freckles stand out in stark contrast. “I’m Caleb.”

“Gemma.” I realize what I’ve done and shake my head sharply. “No. We’re not doing this ... whatever this is. Go back to bed. I’ll scare you next time.”

I start to turn away, but his soft voice stops me short. “Probably not.”

“What do you mean probably not ?”

He’s still watching me as if he wants to memorize every detail, his gaze tracing my body from the tips of my horns down to my cloven hooves. It’s strange to be stared at so intensely. I’m an embarrassment of a demon. I’ve been told as much my entire life.

We’re raised collectively from creation to adulthood, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve been unable to fit in with my peers.

The things that come easily to them feel unnatural to me; it takes effort , and even when I try my very hardest, I never quite manage it.

If I’m silent and still, they sometimes tolerate me, but it’s difficult to be either.

As a result, I make the other demons uncomfortable and they avoid me. They look right through me.

Caleb clears his throat. “You are, uh, scary. I guess? But I’m scared every day, all fucking day.

The world is in shambles, Gemma. And, forgive me if this is creepy, but you’re naked in my room, and the other night you were sitting on my chest while naked in my room.

I had what I feel is a pretty normal reaction. ”

Naked ... I look down at my body. I understand the concept of clothes, the same way I understand the concept of an erection.

But clothes are a human thing, something to cover their bodies from the elements, to hide them from the shame their society drills into their heads. “You just said I’m scary.”

“You . . . are?”

Realization rolls over me in a thick wave.

He’s lying. He’s not scared of me at all.

He’s turned on, and worse, he’s nice enough to pretend I’m not catastrophically failing at my only job.

“You’re not scared at all.” Now that I’m focusing, I can feel his emotions roiling in his chest. There is fear there, but it’s faint and once again wrapped up in confusion, which I cannot eat .

“Maybe we could try again,” he says slowly. His eyes are focusing very intently on my face, not dipping below my chin after that first intense scan. “If you release me, I’ll go back to sleep. You can come in again, and I’ll be scared.” He’s still speaking softly, as if he doesn’t want to spook me .

“I have to go.” My stomach chooses that moment to rumble loudly in protest. I had mostly gotten used to my hunger while living on Ralph’s scraps, but the veritable feast Caleb gave me two nights ago makes it hard to bear in this moment.

He jerks, but my magic holds him still. Except for his face, which I’m discovering is incredibly expressive, even if I don’t fully understand the meaning behind each micro movement. “Wait. Please. I’ve obviously done something wrong, and I’m sorry. Please don’t go.”

Now he’s apologizing. As if my mortification couldn’t get any stronger.

I turn away and press my hands to my heated face, hating the tightness in my throat and chest. I don’t know how many more chances I have left.

Will this be the one that disappears me?

Or will they give me another human to bumble through attempting to scare?

“Gemma.”

At the sound of my name, I do my best to insert steel into my spine. It feels more like soft dough, but I manage to turn to face him again. “Close your eyes.”

Caleb immediately obeys. He’s still in that half-sitting-up position, which doesn’t look comfortable in the least, but he’s relaxed and resting easily against my magic, so maybe it’s fine. What little fear was present seeps away as I walk toward him. He’s happy I’m not leaving.

Frustration rots inside me, acidic and so intense it takes my breath away. “This isn’t going to work. I’m supposed to be feeding off your fear.” I didn’t mean to say that. Fuck. I am screwing this up royally.

“Okay,” he says easily. “Scare me.”

If it were that easy, I would have done it by now. I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him, relaxed and trusting me when he most certainly shouldn’t. “You don’t have a single shred of self-preservation, do you? I could kill you. That would make you afraid.”

“Probably.” He smiles, his eyes still closed. “Worth a shot, right?”

I blink. Maybe I’m not the incompetent one here. Oh, I am incompetent—I can’t pretend otherwise—but this man clearly has no survival instinct. Irritation rises, washing through my frustration. “Keep your eyes closed.” He likes this form? Well, I’ll give him another to gawk at.

It hurts to change my body. Not because of the shifting bones and cells and magic, but because I’m already so low on reserves.

Demons like Ralph can shift in a heartbeat without so much as a flinch because they’re glutted on the emotions of their humans.

Even the demons who don’t have a large number of humans can manage it, because there are always more emotions to plumb when it comes to humans.

Normal demons don’t spend days avoiding their human until hunger drives them back.

I shimmy a little, getting used to the added height and lack of mass.

I won’t claim any originality in the design—I shamelessly copied it.

Once I’m sure I won’t topple over with my first step, I make my way to the bed and crawl onto the mattress, closer and closer to Caleb, until my nose nearly touches his.

With each shift of my weight, his breathing picks up.

I can feel his anticipation as I settle over him, careful not to touch his body.

There will be no need to sit on his chest tonight .

.. hopefully. I’m not sure I can manage it in this form without hurting him, and as frustrating as this whole experience has been, it’s not really his fault that things aren’t going to plan.

“Caleb,” I whisper, my voice gone rough from the transition to a form I’ve never worn. “Open your eyes.”

He does ... and screams. “Holy shit.” His whole body goes tight, his eyes wide and panicked, his fear so thick in the air that I gag on it even as I swallow it down. Just enough to stave off true hunger, but nowhere near enough to satisfy. I can barely stand to consume that much.

I launch myself off him and skitter backward toward the closet that hides the portal.

Caleb’s eyes are still rolling in absolute fear.

I should be feeling the satisfaction of a job well done, but all I feel is shame.

He was trying to help me, and all he got for his efforts is terrified.

His fear coats the inside of my mouth, tacky and acidic.

It makes me want to spit it out, but I can’t afford to waste this sustenance after using so much magic. Damn it.

I release him just as I step through the portal. My stomach is no longer grumbling, but I take no pleasure in what just happened. The feeling gets worse when I land back in my realm and nearly run over Ralph.

He catches me by my shoulders. “Gemma ... why are you wearing my face and body?”

In an instant, I’m back in my preferred form, pink skin and all. I shrink a full three feet in the process, but Ralph’s grip doesn’t waver. “Sorry.” It’s incredibly rude to assume another demon’s likeness in whole, the way I just did. “I panicked and—”

Ralph sighs. “If you need to refine your form, then take some time to do it—your own time. You ate at least?”

“Yes,” I whisper. It’s the truth ... even if two shifts were enough to drain me to the edge of needing to turn around and go right back to Caleb. I can’t do it. Not tonight. Not after I failed so spectacularly. Again.

“Good job.” He releases my shoulders and ruffles my mane. “I told you that you could do it. If you want some tips on changes you could make—”

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.” I’m speaking so softly, the words barely span the distance between us. “I’m sorry.”

“I won’t hold it against you this one time.” He’s being unbearably kind, even if there’s a thread of warning beneath his words. “You’ll be fine, Gemma. Just keep doing what you’re doing and have confidence in yourself.”

If only he knew.