Page 60 of Beasts of Shadows #1

I wake in the water.

No. I’m not drowning. I’m… floating ? Warmth clings to my skin like breath. I try to move, but my limbs are distant, like someone else's. My head pulses. My ribs…

Gods, my ribs .

I wince, the pain blooming hot and sudden beneath my right side.

Where am I?

There’s a light above me. Dim. Flickering. Something moves across it like seaweed, or fingers. I blink, hard.

Am I underground?

Am I dead? Is this the end world?

Pain tears through my head.

No. Not dead. I’m pretty sure you can’t feel pain in the afterlife.

I should have asked Ravi.

I try to sit up, and regret it immediately.

“Take it easy. You fractured your ribs. And your head…you’re lucky the split healed so quickly.”

Nikolai. He’s slouched in a chair beside the bed like he’s been poured there.

His coat is half-buttoned, wrinkled like he hasn’t taken it off in days.

His usually immaculate hair is tangled at the ends, and his eyes—gods, his eyes.

They’re bloodshot, rimmed in a fatigue that doesn’t belong on someone like him.

The kind that sinks deep, turns sharp features hollow.

There’s a bruise darkening beneath one eye, and I don’t even want to know where it came from.

He looks wrecked.

Like someone hit pause on his immortality and left him to rot in the hours between my fall and now.

That can’t be right. He looked fine earlier. Smug. Invincible. Like always.

Now he looks… human. Hurting. Like whatever kept him upright finally gave out the moment I opened my eyes.

“Do you realize you could have died?”

The light is too bright. My ribs protest as I shift upright, but I manage to push myself into a sitting position.

Nikolai’s breath cuts through the room like a blade. I expect him to scold me—but he only exhales, the sound sharp and reluctant. Like he’s holding in something bigger.

“Relax,” I croak, reaching for a cup of water on the bedside table.

Reema must’ve left it. No, Reema’s not talking to me .

Cat? “The worst that could’ve happened if I died was everyone would be free of the Thantos threat.

” Feeling petty, I add, “And, hey, wouldn’t it be nice to pick a new wife?

One you actually want? I’m sure Ta?sse would be interested in applying. ”

He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t even look at me.

Just tightens his jaw and turns away—like he can’t risk letting me see what’s behind his eyes. The anger. The fear. That haunted kind of silence I’ve only ever seen in people who thought they’d lost something they weren’t ready to grieve.

“You really think that’s what I want, don’t you?” he murmurs, voice low and frayed.

From the corner, someone shifts. I turn just enough to see it’s Cat. She offers a sympathetic smile, then slips from the room without a word.

Scaredy Cat.

I groan and rub my temples, trying to banish the pounding in my skull. “What are you talking about?”

“I watched you fall.”

That stops me. I lean my head back against the pillow and take another long sip of water, letting the cold run down my throat. It helps—barely. The ache is still there. Not just in my head. In my bones. In whatever part of me cracked open when I fell.

I must have struck some jagged rocks or trees on my way down. I certainly didn’t feel this way the last time I took an unwanted ocean dive.

“I’ve never been so frustrated with our arrangement,” Nikolai says, “as I was in that moment. When you slipped. When I couldn’t grab you.”

I glance at him. Warily.

“Where am I?”

His jaw tenses, as if this is not what he wants to talk about.

“Safe. In the Shadow Realm. In my home. No one knows you’re here.”

“How hard did I hit my head? I could have sworn Cat was—.”

“Alright, no one but Cat and Kilronan,” he relents. “We thought it would be best if people thought… Cat may have spread the rumor around campus that you….didn’t make it.”

“ Ellaborate ,” I ground out.

“The mermaid—Ailani—was still in the water when you fell. She got to you before we could get down there, but you were already unconscious. I really thought…”

He swallows hard. Does it hurt him to recall that? He looks sickly. It’s almost frightening. Nikolai’s supposed to be pulled together. Cocky. Reliable.

“I called my uncle. We brought you here. The wards are safe from Calea. Have been since my father married her daughter. It was part of her bounty. A safe place from Calea’s all-knowing eye.”

“Ah.”

“Cat, well, it was Kilronan’s idea, but we figured lying about your death could buy you some time from Calea. Keep her looking for you for a bit.”

“You’re out of your damned mind if you think she’s going to buy that. She needs my divine echo, doesn’t she? And now that I’m becoming a full-blooded deity, that’s more power for her.”

“You’re probably right.”

Nikolai falls silent, staring at my hand. He opens his mouth. Closes it. His owne trembles as if he desperately wants something…

Oh.

“Please.”

His voice breaks. It’s such an unexpected and crushed sound that it robs me of my own air.

“ Please , let me touch you. I just need to know that you’re really fine. This isn’t in my head. Fuck, Nari, it’s been in my head so many times —.”

“Fine.” I cut him off.

He waits, face impatient. It’s almost cute. It’s not very Nikolai, but it is endearing.

“I relinquish my control over you.”

He stills.

Then launches.

His hand wraps around mine—not cautiously, not gently, but like he’s been waiting hours to be allowed. The moment we make contact, he clings to it like something inside him might snap if he lets go again.

“I’m not dead, you know.”

“I thought I was watching you die. I didn’t know if you’d make it.”

His voice is soft, but it hits like a blow. My heart stumbles in my chest, heavy with a rhythm I can’t blame on injury. I glance at his face.

He looks... wrecked .

“Mortals die.That’s always been an option. Weren’t you only too enthusiastic to point that out before?” I offer.

“But you’re not supposed to be vulnerable now.” His thumb moves against my knuckles, like he’s grounding himself. “We can’t afford to lose another spring goddess.”

The words hurt, just a little. For a moment, I thought he was afraid to lose me.

I should have realized it was just about Calea. And Thantos. And the future of everyone and everything.

“I’m fine,” I say, sharper this time. “I’ll be up in a couple hours. You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“This.” I wave my free hand weakly. “This whole concerned husband thing. I don’t need it.”

He doesn’t argue. But he also doesn’t let go.

His hand stays wrapped around mine, warm and steady. Solid in a way I didn’t realize I was missing until just now.

Neither of us says anything more.

But the air shifts—something thick and unsaid settling between us.

Nothing’s going to be the same after this.

#

I nearly punch Nikolai when he finally admits it’s been a week since I fell.

A week .

Calea is going to be at Van Ritten tomorrow. Expecting to bleed me dry.

“Are you out of your damned mind?” I demand. The only reason I don’t strike him in retaliation is because it hurts too damned much. How in the end world am I going to take on the mother goddess tomorrow? I can’t hardly breathe without wincing.

“Here,” Cat says, sliding me some green concoction. “Now that you’re finally awake, lazybones, you can take the good healing stuff. There’s only so much we can do when you’re leaving drool on your pillow.”

“Fuck you.”

Cat blows a kiss.

“Love you too.”

“I know this feels like a setback,” Nikolai cuts in, calm and maddening as ever, “but it actually works in our favor. Remember the bride’s dagger? Cat sent my uncle to retrieve it the moment you were awake.”

“I asked ,” Cat corrects. “ Politely . Like a decent catshi. Unlike your lot, we have manners.”

“Aye,” a man agrees, stepping into the room.

At first, I think it’s Cody. There are similarities—same profile, same casual grace, same golden hair—but the resemblance ends there.

His golden locks reach past his shoulders, forehead free of any scars.

His eyes glow the yellow of a raccoon, and the hint of four dark shapes—birds?

—over his head tells me he’s too ancient to be innocent.

This is a deity. An old one, at that. He wreaks of old paper.

“Deities have many virtues, but sadly, our niceties have not progressed from the dark ages.”

“Nari, this is my uncle Malec,” Nikolai supplies.

“Been wanting to meet you for a long time, little one,” he says with a wink. “Always knew Nicky would find himself a powerful, gorgeous creature to call wife.”

I open my mouth to argue the “wife” comment, but immediately give up. It is so not worth arguing over now.

“I need to get back to school.”

“Tomorrow morning,” Malec replies, giving Nikolai a pointed look. “Take the night to get the last bit of your strength back.”

“I’m good,” I retort, trying to push off the bed.

“All the same,” Malec says, easing me back against the cushion, “You have a better chance of recuperating here than there. You’ll need every bit of energy to take on the mother goddess.”

“Give it an hour, and you’ll be up and moving,” Cat replies. “I’ll give you thw whole tour. The food here is amazing. And the drinks—the gods really have been holding out on us.”

“I don’t think – .”

“Please?” Nikolai probes.

He’s not smiling. Not smirking. Just watching me like I might disappear again. Like he hasn’t slept in a week. Like he’s scared to blink.

That word, from his mouth, strikes me more than anything else.

Two “please” in one day?

He’s making me weak. And I can’t afford it.

But…the idea of going back to Van Ritten in this state is like handing myself to Calea on a silver platter.

“Fine,” I mutter. “One night. Then we end this.”

Nikolai exhales, like someone just cut the noose from his throat.

Cat claps once. “Great! I’m stealing you the second you can stand. Hope you like feasts and bitching about divine politics.”

I close my eyes. Just for a second. But even that feels like surrender.

#

Cat collects me an hour later. And though I’m still rough around the edges, she was right about the healing potion. I wheeze only a little when I breathe.

She brings me to the great hall. Nikolai left when the others did.

I hope to see him when we arrive, but it’s just Cat and limited selection of other people.

Servants with the same, cherub-like faces, pouring wine into amethyst decanters and setting food down.

Figures of varying sizes sleep like lazy dogs.

One keeps a head on the table. Someone else—the size of a giant—sleeps along the length of the tabletop.

The walls are set with thick amethyst-colored rock befitting a throne room. Gauzy curtains decorate both sides. A few tables are pushed against the walls, as if the room once hosted many dancing visitors.

At the far end of the room—where we hastily make our way to—are two stone thrones set atop a platform. The whole raised slab looks like it was cut from obsidian.

The thrones are empty. Nikolai’s mother, maybe? And his father, when he was alive?

An enormous man snoozing by the stage stretches and sits up. This guy looks like he could pop my head off just by using his arms like a nutcracker.

“Katerina!” His tone is jolly, and deeper than anything I’ve ever heard. I didn’t even think a voice could get that low. His accent differs from Malec and Nikolai’s. Nigerian, maybe?

His attention locks on me, and he stands beside the platform. He’s wearing only a green cloth wrapped towel-style around his hips, revealing his muscles. A gold elephant pin barely holds the fabric together.

Cat, noticing my stare, mutters in my ear, “ Mouthwatering .”

“I know you,” the man says.

“I doubt that.”

“Oh, but I do. You’re the second seal breaker. We’ve waited a long time for you. Big fan off your work.”

Does he mean killing Ravi?

“This is Orun. He’s a member of the Ais Chrona court. They’ve overseen the underground movement to overthrow Calea for centuries,” Cat supplies. “Anyone who pisses Calea off, usually finds their way here.”

“Gave my job to that blockhead, Donn, during the fall of the Roman Empire. I used to create the finest souls the mortal realm had ever seen.”

“Are you saying there’s a shade-led resistance?” I wonder.

“That’s a big word for mostly waiting and whispering,” Orun replies. “Many of us are ready to see her fall.”

“Are you ready to have Thantos reign, then?” I counter, my voice hard.

He laughs, the sound shaking his whole chest.

“You do what you need to do tomorrow, and we don’t need to worry about Death, will we?”

“No pressure.”

“Look, the best way to handle stress is to take your mind off it.” Cat grips my shoulders and jerks me away from the thrones.

I eye the cup of liquor offered to me with distaste.

““Sláinte!” Someone calls. The call echoes around the hall until I reluctantly grip the cup. Fists pound into the oak tables like drums until I finally tip the chalice back.

I expect a bitter burn, like the drinks we have at Van Ritten. But this is sweet. No hint of ash or acid—just honey, herbs, and something that tastes like heat in a bottle.

“Careful,” Cat cautions. “It can hit hard if you’re not careful. This is the same stuff they used to kidnap mortals.”

“You tell me this now ?”

“You’re not mortal, are you? Which is something we’re definitely discussing when all this is over. Love dove, you have to stop keeping things to yourself.”

“Noted.”

Things move in a blur after the first sip. At some point, Malec joins us, and we down another beaker at his urging.

I keep waiting for Nikolai to come join us.

But he never does.