Page 50 of Beasts of Shadows #1

I’m not sure what to make of the morning-after parade down to breakfast. It seems like Reema and Geneir aren’t the only couple to break up over the events. Upperclassmen are breaking up multiple fights throughout the dorms.

One girl, just outside the lunchroom, is crying next to the body of a boy with his pants down.

“Carnals are vicious.” Cat gives a tsk, before wincing at the bitter shift of Reema’s jaw. “Of course, they’re the absolute worst! Sucking a guy dry—cum and life and all. Geneir’s lucky Picca didn’t…I’m going to shut up now.”

“Good call,” I retort, rubbing my forehead.

How am I going to look anyone in the face after this?

I trail behind Cat and Reema as we round the stone archway toward the defac, but I slow when I catch sight of a familiar profile slouched against one of the carved obsidian benches flanking the courtyard.

Nikolai.

Of course, he looks effortlessly smooth and unbothered, like he didn’t just spend last night tangled between Ta?sse’s thighs.

The guilty party is curled beside him, her dragonfire curls spilling over his lap, one of her clawed hands tracing lazy circles across his chest. Her eyes are closed, her smile satisfied. She looks like a girl who just got exactly what she wanted.

Nikolai doesn’t return the energy.

His arm drapes along the back of the bench, his body stiff. The line of his jaw locks, like he’s grinding his teeth behind that otherwise blank expression. He’s not relaxed—he’s performing it.

And then he spots me.

His whole posture changes. His fingers twitch once, then deliberately slide into Ta?sse’s curls, threading them tighter, until her face lifts in sleepy response.

She murmurs something I can’t hear.

He doesn’t look at her. Not once. His eyes are on me.

And then he pulls her closer.

I try not to react. Gods, I try. But I know he sees the flinch behind my carefully neutral stare. I know it because his lip curls in the faintest hint of a smirk.

Just last week, he said I was something worth fearing. But now he’s holding Ta?sse like I imagined he’d hold me.

I square my shoulders and tear my gaze away, just as the scent of cedar and sea salt hits me from behind.

Ravi.

His presence coils behind my spine before I hear the quiet, “Can we talk?”

I freeze. The back of my neck goes hot, but not in the good way. More like I’ve been branded.

Of course he’d pick now—when I’m still raw and brittle and unraveling under the weight of last night. When Nikolai is looking at me like I’m something he’s already burned.

I nod stiffly, not trusting my voice.

Cat and Reema glance back, eyebrows arching in unison, but I wave them off.

“I’ll catch up.”

#

Ravi doesn’t say anything as we fall into step, his hands tucked into the pockets of his charcoal-grey coat like he’s just out for a stroll. He doesn’t touch me, doesn’t even walk that close.

Still, my skin itches. Like he’s leaving marks just by walking beside me.

Finally, I mutter, “This isn’t a good time.”

“No,” he agrees. “But it’s the only time I’ve got. There’s a field exercise that I have to be at and—. I miss you.”

I bristle. “You said that last night.”

He stops walking. Nods slowly, dragging a hand through his dark curls.

When I finally look up at him, there’s a crease between his brows, like he’s trying to piece together the best response.

“Nari…”

His palm tangles haphazardly into my hair; just above my ear.

“I want to try this.”

My stomach drops. I open my mouth, not sure if I’m going to snap or laugh or agree—but he holds up a hand. “Let me finish.”

His voice is calm, controlled. Not pleading. Gods don’t plead.

“I want to try this,” he says again. “And I don’t mean stolen moments and shadows. I want something real. Something… named.”

I flinch at that word. Named.

He sees it. Of course he does.

“But only if you want it too.”

I cross my arms, trying to gather the pieces of myself he always seems to scatter.

“I killed you.”

“You did,” he agrees. “And I’ll carry that. But I’ve let you die so many times in our past without intervention that it’s only fair. We have this chance to finally be together. Let’s take it.”

His palm rises again—slow, deliberate—and slides through my hair, just once. Not a grab. Not a tug. Just… contact. The kind that stakes a claim without drawing blood.

“I miss you,” he repeats, quieter now. “And I think we’re both tired of pretending otherwise.”

I don’t answer right away. I can’t. Because I’m still holding onto something else—something I haven’t named yet.

A heartbeat passes. Then another.

And like fate wants to twist the knife, my gaze lifts. Across the courtyard, past the shadow of the defac, I spot them.

He’s draped across a stone bench like a crown prince without a care in the world, long legs sprawled, shirt open just enough to be indecent. Ta?sse is curled into his side, laughing at something I can’t hear. Her fingers toy with the chain at his throat, and he lets her.

Worse—he smiles.

Not at me. Not even in my direction.

He doesn’t see me at all.

Not like Ravi used to. Not like he wants to.

Something twists in my gut. It’s sharp and hot and ugly.

I look back at Ravi. His expression hasn’t changed. No smirk. No victory. Just a quiet, patient intensity, like he knew I’d end up here.

“Fine,” I say, voice low. “We can try it.”

A beat of silence. The wind kicks up, lifting a strand of his curls.