Page 17

By the time the first fat drops of rain hit the sand shortly after, the last guests are running towards the hotel, including the errant bodysurfer.

My fellow lifeguard is beating a retreat with his gear, and I signal to him that I’ll be right behind him.

Alone on the beach, I linger for a moment, relishing the roar of the waves and the pelt of the raindrops, letting the wind rip through my hair.

The first night I planned on proposing to Jessica, a storm came up suddenly, just like this. The rocks would be slippery, wet. Too dangerous. I put it off.

There’s always tomorrow , I thought.

But the next night, she wasn’t herself. ‘I’m hitting the gym,’ she said when I suggested a walk. ‘My trainer set a really aggressive goal for me, so.’

‘But didn’t you already work out this morning?’

‘Yeah, well, some of us have to work harder at it than others,’ she said, with a hint of bitterness that I now know was a warning sign of what was to come.

But at the time, I brushed it off, reminding myself that she’d been up at six for the sunrise yoga and hadn’t stopped since; she was just tired and cranky.

I’d give her some space. We had four days left.

There were parts in our life that were tight– money, our small apartment, our shared closet– but time was not one of them. We were rich in time.

‘OK,’ I said. ‘Well, have a good workout. I’m going to hit up the sauna, if you want to join me later.’

I yelp with surprise at a sudden masculine voice behind me.

‘Need help?’

I whip around, snapping my reverie shut, again becoming aware of my surroundings– and the man standing inches from me, dark hair blowing in the wind.

Daniel. A sharp jolt of irritation makes my lips tighten.

Why is he popping up everywhere I go? I’d ignore him again, but with only the two of us on the entire beach right now, it’s a bit harder to pretend I don’t see him.

‘No, thanks. I got it,’ I say, as I bend to grab my towel and fling it over a shoulder.

‘Look. Lily—’ He runs a free hand through his hair, which is already wild.

He’s barefoot, sweatpants rolled up past his ankles, in a soft grey hoodie that the wind is sticking to his muscled body, with that stupid five o’clock shadow that I want to run my stupid palms over. ‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘What do you mean?’ I say without looking at him, as I climb the lifeguard chair to detach the umbrella, which strains against me as I try to close it. Even I can hear how fake my question sounds.

‘I mean, did I offend you somehow?’

It physically hurts to ignore him, but hey, short-term pain for long-term gain.

He raises his voice above the wind. ‘If I did something, or said something, at least give me the chance to apologize.’

I’m so tempted to look down at him, but avoiding eye contact is key. I focus on pushing in the metal peg to detach the umbrella. Of course, it sticks. My ponytail whips around my face, a flurry of raindrops stinging my cheek.

‘When you shared about Jessica—’ he shouts up, and something about hearing her name on his lips makes me snap.

‘It’s not that!’ I shout down at him.

The peg snaps inward; the umbrella detaches. I slide it off the pole and muscle it down. The wind screeches in my ears.

‘Then what is it?’ he calls up.

‘I’m just busy!’ I start making my descent, umbrella tucked by my side. ‘I have a job here.’

‘No! Something is wrong!’ he shouts over the wind. ‘Why won’t you tell me what it is?’

I focus on getting the clipboard off the chair. Stupid, stubborn man. ‘Get inside, Daniel! The storm!’

‘You know what I think?’

‘Nope,’ I yell, focusing now on getting everything bundled together in my arms. Umbrella. Clipboard. Flotation device. Towel. Self-possession.

I take off across the sand, the wind beating at my back, Daniel running alongside. The palm trees by the hotel are nearly bent double. The rain comes in swift flurries, then stops, then starts again.

‘I think you’re attracted to me, and you don’t know what to do with your feelings.’

I laugh sharply, stop for a second, and give him the incredulous look he deserves. My ponytail lashes furiously at my face. ‘Just because you’re hot doesn’t mean every single woman wants you, Daniel!’ I resume my forward march.

‘Don’t do that!’

A gust of wind whips some sand up. I lift an arm to protect my eyes.

‘What?’ I yell.

‘This,’ he says. I don’t stop walking, but in my peripheral vision I can see him gesturing with his arms. ‘This… game . You want me to leave you alone? OK! You hate my guts for some reason? I can handle that! But that’s not it. So what is it?’

A ferocious gust of wind nearly sends us tumbling into one another. He steadies my elbow, just a brief moment of contact. Enough to make me want more. Everything about Daniel makes me want more. More of his attention. More of his body. More from myself… and my life.

My throat is tight.

What is it? It’s that Daniel isn’t just a guy I could have fun in bed with. A one-night stand wouldn’t be enough to get him out of my system. No, this is someone—

‘Watch out!’ yells Daniel. There’s a rough hand on my arm, yanking hard.

My knees hit sand; the wind catches my towel and it flies through the air like a drunk bird just as a folding chair hurtles past my ears, so close that I can hear the whistle of the wind through its metal rods.

Both Daniel and I watch as the chair bounces across the sand before vaulting into the water.

‘Shit,’ I breathe, still crouched. The angle of Daniel’s body momentarily protects me from the brunt of the wind’s force. Adrenaline pumps through me. ‘That was close.’

‘Let’s get inside,’ he says, and before I can object, I’m tucked under his arm, and we’re running towards safety in tandem. As we approach the hotel and the fence that encloses one of the pools, I can see staff running around, securing the rest of the chairs.

Daniel yanks open one of the poolside doors into the hotel, fighting the wind. We tumble into an empty hallway by the laundry room. As soon as the door closes behind us, the silence rings in my ears.

‘Thank you,’ I say, and then suddenly I’m looking into Daniel’s eyes. Damn it, I’ve been avoiding eye contact for a reason. The chill of the air conditioning sizzles coldly on my wet skin.

‘So. What did I do?’

The rain beats against the glass door. My muscles are clenched like a boxer before a round, and my back teeth grind together. Daniel Black is the most maddening individual I have ever met.

I throw down the gear. ‘Why can’t you let it go?’

‘Because if I did something wrong, I have to own it.’

Well, fuck. I know how that feels.

‘There’s something between us,’ he says.

‘Exactly,’ I say, relieved he said it first. ‘Unfortunately, I’m not into flings.’

‘OK.’

‘What do you even want from me? An island romp?’

‘Is that what you want from me?’ A tiny grin appears on his lips, and I can read what he’s thinking. So you are attracted to me.

‘How could you know what I want?’

‘I’ll know if you tell me.’

I put my hand on my forehead and release a growl of frustration. ‘Fuck, Daniel! I don’t know how to…’

Be myself and hide myself at the same time.

Remain guarded when he makes me feel so safe.

I’ve already revealed so much to this guy that I never planned on sharing. If I let myself get closer, what the hell else will I spout out? What if I slip up?

‘What are you scared of?’ Daniel says.

I sink back against the wall with a sigh of defeat. I don’t want to fight this. I don’t want to fight him .

‘You.’

He holds my gaze for a moment, then nods. He takes a step closer, so close I can smell the salt on his skin. He lifts a hand and grazes my jawline with it, sending shivers down my body.

‘Am I really that scary?’

My heart pounds. With my eyes, I say, Yes .

With his eyes, he says, Why?

I try to send back, It’s not you. It’s me , but I’m not sure if he gets that part because then he leans in.

It’s like the past few days of orchestrated avoidance on my part have been a mere delay, a tiny hiccup as we rush towards what feels like the inevitable conclusion: my eyes slip closed in surrender and our lips meet.

His mouth searches mine, and I feel my body arching against the wall, our hips grazing.

He cups one hand against my face, the other at the small of my back, guiding my body closer to his.

I don’t know if the kiss lasts five seconds or five minutes, but when I pull back, I’m breathless, shaking, somehow pulled out of time and place, like I’m not at the Riovan any more but somewhere both undefined and more real than wherever it is I’ve been living for the past five years.

In other words, the opposite of detached.

I was right. This isn’t just someone I could spend a fun night with . This is someone I could fall for. Fuck.

My mind is chaos, bumping along like an empty can tied to the back of the speeding car that is my body.

‘What are we doing?’ I whisper, my hand reaching up to run against the grit of his stubble, like I’ve wanted to do since I saw him that first morning at the coffee alcove. God, it feels good. I like him rough, and the entire surface area of my body is wondering if he gives it rough, too.

His eyes probe mine. The corner of his mouth lifts. His voice is hypnotic as he murmurs, ‘You tell me, Lily Lennox.’

I lean into his neck. His spicy, sweaty smell overwhelms me, and just like I knew I would, I want more. I lean into his ear and, against my better judgement, from some hungry place Daniel Black has opened in me like a cavity of desire, I whisper, ‘How close is your room?’