Page 85 of Bastard

He reaches toward me and gently tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “Two nights, then I’ll be back.”

My heart skips a beat. “Dormiré major sin ti,” I lie. I won’t sleep better without him, especially knowing the dangerous work he’s doing.

He laughs.

We quietly finish our lunch, each preoccupied with our own thoughts.

“Will you ask Mustafa to recruit men from outside the village to help us?” he asks me, as he offers me his hand. “We’ll progress quicker that way.”

I place mine in his and our fingers intertwine.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

He gives me a squeeze. “Truth is, she terrifies me. Almost as much as you do.”

“Now who’s the liar?”

But as we head back to work, it’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him how I terrify him.

Two days, and he’ll be back.

And then, I’ll pursue this question along with all the implications the answer might hold.

31

Condom packet in one hand and the large, blue phallus in the other, and I have my audience riveted.

Or the cause could be the tears rolling down my face.

“Don’t cry, Luciana.”

I hastily wipe the back of my hand across my eyes, not wanting to scare anyone off with my happy tears.

They’re listening. They have been since I began. It’s such a simple thing, listing the reasons why sex is safer when wearing a condom. Yet changing age-old mindsets isn’t so simple.

I’ve succeeded though, haven’t I?

Mama and Papí would be proud.

Though the truth is these happy tears are Hayden’s fault as much as this overwhelming sense of accomplishment.

I’ve come full circle. I’ve forgiven him.

So, this is what closure feels like?

The hurt I carried for so long is gone. As for my love? I shake my head. It never disappeared, did it? It was simply cloaked in a false sense of hatred toward him.

I want him—not just physically, but long-term. And, despite the repeated risk to my heart, I’m going to pursue this like a woman who understands how to love a complex man like him. I wasn’t ready for him back then. Now is a different story.

I raise the phallus up in the air. “What won’t we forget?” I chant my question.

“A condom,” the crowd responds in unison.

“Why must we put one on?”

“It’s safe sex or no sex.”

“That’s right.” I grin. “Questions?”