Page 36 of Bastard

The men don’t hide their alarm, mixed in with a few curious glances between us.

Despite my bravado, I jump when Hayden places a hand on my bare shoulder. “A word in private?”

¿En serio? Ignores me for two days, then he interrupts my poker game? “I’m about to win this hand.” From where he’s standing, he can clearly see my hand, the one queen accompanied by lesser denominations.

“Ten-minute break,” Hayden’s voice rings out. “Wait for her to return.”

The men fold their cards onto the table without a word. No one dares defy him.

“Come with me.” He removes his hand from my shoulder and stalks off.

“This game is not over,” I warn the men before hurrying across the dark deck after Hayden.

He peers out into the tranquil water as he waits for me by the railing. I pause to admire his profile, the sharp line of cheekbone, the full pouty lips that would look feminine on any other man. No man should be this handsome. Even the tight knot of dark hair, that ridiculous man bun, is beginning to appeal to me.

I come to stand beside him.

The Indian Ocean, the warmest of the seas, is plagued by cyclones and monsoons. But tonight, it’s calm and serene.

“Pirates don’t concern you?” I break the silence. “An expensive yacht attracts attention.”

“This yacht is equipped with a state-of-the-art radar system and satellite monitors. No one approaches or leaves without my knowing it.”

“Of course they don’t.”

“I can’t afford to be careless.”

I snort. “Like you’ve ever been careless.”

He’s quiet for the briefest of moments. “You almost died because of my mistake. In Tijuana, after I let that boy go.”

I turn toward him. “That was my fault. I asked you to leave him be.”

Silence. Dios, after all this time, what happened bothers him? We’d been inside a car a few miles from the US border, waiting for my brother to blow up a tunnel, when a boy on a bicycle rode by. Hayden was going to ... I’m unsure exactly what ... but I insisted the boy was harmless. Turns out, the child was Ignacio’s lookout. The Sureños cartel came after us. Things got ugly after Ignacio pointed his gun at Diego’s head.

I shot him. My first and only kill.

And Hayden lost his mind, going completely loco.

But no hint of that man stands before me now. He’s hardened, and built a fortress around himself stopping anyone from entering.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” I ask, uncertain if the man I knew is still inside. “Did you live the life you imagined?” I don’t expect an answer so I’m not disappointed when he doesn’t offer one. He silently stares out into the darkness. Admitting and denying nothing.

Miles away.

“You pulled me away from a poker game to speak to me?”

“Why the teal blue bath towels?”

My jaw drops. “You said record everything I needed onto a list.”

“Blue towels?”

“Do I look like a woman who prefers Barbie pink?” Like I should be content with towels in a color that’s one shade away from red—a constant flag reminding me about all the others?

Ever so slowly, he rakes his eyes over me, from my painted toenails to the messy ponytail on my head.

I shake off the memory of being seventeen years old again. A girl whose single-minded focus had been onhim.