Page 79 of Bargain With the Boss

“I do, which is why I’m yelling, you jackass.”

“She’s a grown woman. And it’s not just—” I cleared my throat. “Look, you don’t want to know the details and I sure as hell don’t want to give them to you.”

Jude paced away, gripping his hair.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Good to know you think so highly of me.”

“Oh, shut up. You weren’t any better with finding out about Caleb and Luna.” He stared out the window, his fists clenched at his sides.

“Fair. Look, it wasn’t planned. I also didn’t know I had to ask permission to be interested in your sister. It doesn’t exactly work like that.”

“Didn’t you just say you were interested last year?” He threw over his shoulder.

Leave it to Jude to actually listen.

“And the reason you didn’t notice was because you were so wrapped up in Mads.”

“Oh, I noticed. I just thought you were smarter than that.”

The quick punch of hurt landed quite effectively. Being a fuckup with relationships was my stock in trade.

“Fuck.” Jude turned around, his hands relaxing. “I didn’t mean that.”

“Pretty sure you did.”

“You aren’t exactly shy about the women you date, X.”

“I know.” I sighed and stood. “You’re right.”

And I didn’t even know what the hell we were doing. She was in my head and after last night she was in my bloodstream on a level I hadn’t felt in a damn long time. Being from money required an extra layer of protection when it came to who I dated. I didn’t know if a woman was interested in me because of what I could do for them or give them. But I didn’t have to worry about that with Syd.

In fact, I was pretty sure it was a detriment as far as she was concerned.

“I’m not entirely sure she even likes me,” I said with a laugh.

Jude touched his thumb to his wedding ring, twisting it absently. “She’s had to deal with a lot. I’m not even sure she likes me at the moment, either. Every time I ask her over for dinner or to hang out with the family she makes an excuse.”

“It’s hard on her.” I wouldn’t betray the woman I was falling for, but Jude was oblivious about everything but Maddie and his new family.

Jude frowned.

“Think about it. If Syd had come to you and said ‘oh hey, you’re only my half-brother and I’ve got this great family now,’ how would you react?”

“That’s why I want her here. And you’re supposed to be looking out for her.”

Anger spiked. “I do look out for her, but it’s not my job to remind her she’s your family.”

She could be my family.

The thought made my chest ache. I was just as clueless as Syd and Jude about making an honest connection. There was love with my parents, but it was through a filter of etiquette and quiet civility. Big emotions didn’t have space in the Hastings house. Luna had been chaotic and loved so hard. Far different from all of us.

Instead of letting her shake us out of the formal stodginess of our life, we’d let her go.

The biggest mistake of my goddamn life.

I wouldn’t be making the same mistake when it came to telling Sydney that I wanted her in my life.

Jude stared at me. His eyes shuttered and his body tight.