Page 103 of Ballad of Nightmares

“Or you could take advantage now,” she argued, and she would keep arguing with him until she had no voice left if it would keep him from leaving that bed.

But Sam just smiled and ignored her.

The absence of his body nearly made her vomit. She watched him sit on the edge of the bed to stretch, then stand as he retrieved his clothes. Those tattooed arms, the ink on his back, the stupid smiley face that she’d placed on the inside of his wrist…

He went into the bathroom, and she stood to put on her white silk nightgown. Sam eyed her when he came back out and paused to kiss her once more.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Maybe we take care of that raincheck and go to the Roof for dinner. A friend has some connections there. And after… I have something I want to show you. Things I want to tell you.”

“More surprises?” she asked.

“Something like that.”

But she grabbed his hands as he went to turn and pulled him back into her. “Tell me now,” she nearly begged.

Sam hesitated, his hand slowly reaching up to her cheek to push a curl back, and for a fleeting moment, she thought he might give in. His eyes burned into her, confusion sweeping those brown orbs.

“Tell me now,” she repeated, her voice more hoarse than before. “Tell me everything.”

His thumb brushed her cheek and lips, and she leaned into his touch, her eyes closing as she inhaled the scent of him, memorizing the feeling of his hand, the pad of his rough thumb on her flesh.

If this was her last moment with him, she would make it last as long as she could. She would hold his hand on her face, refuse to look away from the eyes she loved losing herself in. From the man she loved, and who…

Her stupid fucking heart twisted to the point she thought her knees might give out.

“Tonight,” he replied again. “Tonight, I’ll show you everything.”

No matter how much she wondered what he meant, if he meant showing her his home, revealing any last secrets he might have, it didn’t matter.

Prolonging the inevitable would hurt worse.

As if she wasn’t already ripping herself apart from the inside with the decision.

The thought of all those men she’d taken hearts from filled her, and she pondered if they had felt like this when she killed them or if it had hurt them less to simply die rather than watch the world shred beneath their feet.

Sam kissed her one more time, and she held him there, gripping his shirt in her hands and savoring him. Until he finally pulled away, and he gave her chin a gentle nudge, making her lips lift despite herself.

“Tonight.” His whisper was a promise, and when he released her, her entire body went numb. A hollow void filled where her heart had just been twisting. It was gone, and with it, a future she would never have.

Ana couldn’t speak. Saliva stuck in her throat, and she simply gave him a nod.

Her pulse began to throb in her ears, and she looked out the window to Castle Corvus in the distance, the memory of her being attacked filling her mind. Knowing she would never be safe, she could never have a normal life, not after all she’d done.

She had to do this.

“Sam…” she said as he grabbed his coat.

“Ana, I can’t stay—“

“It’s not that,” she cut him off, though even as the words left her, she wished she’d just had the argument and let him believe this was why she had to end things.

But it was too late.

She fumbled with her hands as he turned on her, those brows furrowing over his pained eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I can’t… I can’t see you anymore,” she said, forcing a firm tone.