Page 43

Story: Bad Seed

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SADIE

A rattle tries to pull me from my sleep, but I flip over, chasing the darkness. Light pierces my eyes instead. Flailing between the waking world and my dreams, I sit up. A tiny goblin chases across the room.

Looks a bit like a cat.

It is a cat.

“Astin,” I call to him, trying to get him to stop running when I realize how empty the space is beside me. My hand slaps to the bed, certain he’s just hiding in the shadows.

Nothing.

Okay. He’s in the bathroom. Silently in the bathroom.

He wouldn’t leave again. Not after…

“Son of a bitch!” The gun’s gone.

In a flurry, I dress while telling Astin to stay put and that I’m going to find his daddy. Whether I kill him or not depends on his explanation.

By the time I fling open the door into the chilly Nevada night, flip-flops snapping on the concrete, my heart sinks.

The only noise comes from the Interstate on the horizon and dozens of cars whipping into, or out of, Las Vegas.

My first stop is to the truck, still shot to hell, still leaking fluids all over the pavement. He didn’t take that.

So where is…?

Headlights.

They cut across the parking lot, and I take off running. It’s a car. It could be anyone trying to get back home before their spouse catches on. The chances of it being Aubry are remote. He could have left hours ago, and I’ll never find him.

My brain keeps thinking of a hundred reasons why this is stupid. My heart tells me to leap in front of a car.

Brakes squeal. I extend my arms out like I’m a crossing guard as the car comes to a sharp stop. The long streetlight catches on the windshield wrong. I can’t see anything other than the insane woman in a tight shirt about to get mowed down in the middle of the night.

“What are you doing?” The driver doesn’t shout that. I do, my voice grinding like barbed wire in a blender.

The driver doesn’t blare his horn or pull to the side. Nor do I hear him put the car in park. He’s just sitting there, watching, foot on the brake.

“Are you leaving?” I cry out. “Again?”

The car lurches. A threat? I don’t back down, growing more certain with every second that it’s him.

“I won’t let you leave!” I’m at the top of my lungs, hoping to get someone’s attention so he can’t run away.

“Sadie...” The window rolls down. He sticks his head out and stares at me. “You have to move.”

“No!” Enraged, I leap onto the hood of the car. Oh shit, it’s hot. That was a bad idea. Even as my bare legs blister from the metal, I wrap my arms around the hood and dig in. “You’ll have to shake me off.”

“This is insane,” Aubry cries out.

“I know.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

“Because I—!”

Lights flick on in the motel. Aubry’s head cranes around to note them. With gritted teeth, he waves at me. “Get in the car.”

I let go for a second, then I latch back on. “That’s when you’ll drive off!”

“I won’t. You have to get in here. Now.” His head vanishes back inside, then the passenger door pops open.

My hands open, and I slide across the hood. “Why?” I ask, trying to keep a grip on some of the car even as I give him an opening. The passenger door doesn’t slam shut, though he’s staring around like he’s about to gun it.

“Because…”

I slide into the seat beside him and reach for the door just as the car rockets off down the parking lot aisle.

“…this car’s stolen.”

“What?” I fumble to close the flailing passenger door as the wheels pick up speed under me. Aubry hooks a hand onto my shoulder and rams me back into the seat just as I manage to lock the door in place. “You stole this car?”

“It’s easy with the right hardware,” he says like he’s done this a million times before.

“Is that what you did in the mob? Stole cars to race them on the street?”

He raises his eyebrow while keeping both eyes on the road. His hands are at ten and two as well. It’d make a driver’s ed teacher proud if he hadn’t just stolen the car in the first place. “What do you think we do in the mob?”

“I don’t know. Crime shit? Stealing cars is crime shit. Shooting a machine gun while driving past a store that refuses to pay protection money.”

Aubry starts to chuckle before he groans. For the first time he turns away from the road to stare at me. “You’re not buckled,” he warns, his voice dour.

“It’s a stolen car.” That’s hardly the least of my worries.

He stops at a light, then reaches over to grab the strap. Pulling it between my tits, he stares into my eyes while locking it in place. “There. And so help me, if you take it off, I will tie you to that seat. Understand?”

Okay. So he takes road safety very seriously. Not so much the concept of personal property, though. “What kind of mobster are you?”

“The kind that doesn’t want to see you go flying through a windshield.” Aubry full on shivers as if that’s his worst fear. “Look, we don’t do tommy guns or bootlegging. Mafia shit is basically the same tax evasion and insider trading that Wall Street pulls off. Also drugs. Lots of drugs.”

“Pretty sure that’s a cornerstone of Wall Street too.”

The light turns green, and he barely gives the car any gas. We creep along a quiet street with a bunch of darkened buildings on both sides. Aubry keeps his gaze ahead.

I tug on the strap pressing on my sternum. “You were leaving.”

“No.”

Oh sure, he just happened to wake up and felt like stealing a car to deal with his insomnia.

Breath slips from his parted mouth. “I am leaving.”

Uh-uh. No. I keep shaking my head, trying to make sense of this third betrayal. “But we—”

“Fucked. A lot. And it was…it is amazing. That doesn’t change anything.”

“I told you, I can deal with my allergy. Now that I know slurping on your cock can lead to the hospital, I’ll just have you cum on my breasts.”

The leather wrap on the steering wheel cracks. Aubry keeps wringing his hands, a low growl rumbling in his chest. Is he fighting the urge to turn around, take us back to the motel, and do just that?

“If it’s the hives you’re worried about, I could wear something. Latex. Or black leather. Tight.”

He’s damn near gnashing on his lip, sweat beading on his forehead. I need to seal the deal so I place my hand on his upper thigh.

The car spins under me. My body lurches to the side, nearly flinging me against the window. I grip tighter to his hard thigh, pulling myself back into my seat as Aubry sends the car twisting into a gas station. He slams on the brakes, but doesn’t put the car in park.

Dust settles around us as Aubry gasps for air. My fingers dig into his inner thigh, occasionally glancing against his balls and cock straining up in his sweatpants. I slide my hand higher, my palm about to wrap around his shaft.

Aubry catches my fingers and pulls them off. “It isn’t the allergy,” he says, holding my hand taut. Then he stares down at me and sighs. “It’s not just the allergy. Do you know what being with me would mean?”

“Condoms,” I say before grimacing. “Or, pulling out. That can work too if we’re careful. Isn’t there a lady condom. That might be an option. Of course no semen means… No kids.”

Oh, crap. He wants a family. A huge family of little eggplants growing in the garden. And I can’t even take on one attempt without winding up in the hospital. Nausea churns in my stomach like I’m being punched repeatedly.

Tears spring in my eyes and I cry out, “This isn’t fucking fair.”

“Sadie…”

I’m full on trembling, my heart pounding in fear and my throat closing tighter than it ever did after a dip of baba ganoush.

I can’t give him what he wants. “No matter what I do, what I say, I can’t change my body.

You’ll find someone else. Someone prettier, hotter, who doesn’t wind up in the hospital after sucking your dick. ”

She’ll be the mother of his children while I waste away into an old crone.

Fingers brush through my hair, but I can’t see anything. My vision’s gone white as I keep sucking in air to the point my lips are burning.

“Sadie…” He whispers my name, but it’s like a train whistle in the distance. And I’m stalled on the tracks, waiting for it to hit.

Aubry glides his fingers under my chin and begins to lift it. I close my eyes tight, unwilling to face the oncoming end.

“There is no one hotter or prettier than you.”

I open my mouth, prepared to argue with him. His lips cut me off. My tongue flails my talking points in his mouth. Aubry locks his hand behind my head, soothing my fluttering heart but sending my brain into a fiery panic.

I slap my palms to his chest and shove him back. He blinks, bewildered as if coming out of a trance. Tears gush down my cheeks. “Then why did you leave me?”

“Because…” The fingers behind my head tighten, pulling me out of my seat until my forehead crashes with his. “Watching you hurt kills me.”

I’m hurting right now.

His touch opens, drawing across the nape of my neck. “What would a life with me be like? You can never return home. Not to Loomis, not to your parents. They know who you are. They know you’re with me. We’ll always be hunted.”

“But we’ll be together!”

His lips twitch as if he’s about to break into a smile. Tell me to hell with it. Run off to the airport arm in arm and fly to Greece, or the Philippines, or anywhere else. It doesn’t matter as long as I’m with him.

Aubry sits back in the driver’s seat and puts the car in gear. We lurch out of the gas station and back the way we came. I stare around, watching for the interstate either out of Nevada or back to the airport. Empty side streets pass us by, only the stoplights catching on the windows.

“I had a family,” he says after a long stretch of silence. “I’m not…I wasn’t looking for a new one.”

“What are you looking for?” As I ask that, we pass the exit for the interstate.

“That’s… It’s a good question. Peace, I guess. Forgiveness. A home.”

I can give him all of that. I’ll forgive him. We can find peace in each other’s arms. And what better home for his head than my tits?

My skin chills as we turn at the motel entrance. “What are you doing?”

“I have to go back,” he says.

“Go back where?” I’m spinning in my seat, certain that I’m wrong and there’s some other way to get to the interstate from here. “To Vegas?”

He doesn’t answer my ludicrous question.

“To the casino?”

Aubry purses his lips and gives a curt nod.

“Why the fuck do you want to go back there? They’ll kill you.”

“Probably.”

“No. No, no, no. You are… Are you insane? I will not let you do that.”

“Sadie…” The car comes to a jerking stop in front of the door I ran out of to find him. I stare through it, knowing what he wants me to do.

“No. It’s one thing to tell me you have to leave because your body might kill me. It’s a whole other to say that you’re going out in a hail of bullets and glory!”

“The Brassicas know what’s coming. Ato’s walking into a trap. I have to warn them.”

This is insane. “They tried to kill us. They’ve been hunting you for months. Why do they deserve your help?”

“Because…they’re family.”

I snort. “This is not the fucking Olive Garden.”

He doesn’t laugh. “I left you a note explaining all of this. Along with some money to help you get home. Start a life. Be happy.”

“Aubry…”

“All I ask is that you take Astin. Give him a good home. He’s been through a lot, and he deserves love.” Aubry presses the button on my seatbelt. I almost grab it to shove it back in when he reaches across me. His hand lands on the door handle just as he finally looks at me. “I’m sorry.”

The door opens.

A cold wind cuts through the air.

“This is the only way. They’ll forget about you. Let you live your life, safe. In peace. I’m trying to keep you alive…please.”

I stare out the car door.

“If there was no mob war, if your jizz didn’t kill me, if we were just two people who happened to meet at a bar, what would you do right now?”

He closes his eyes and sighs. “Does it matter?”

“Yes. Yes, it does.”

A slow breath tumbles from his creaking lungs. “I’d cut the seatbelt out of the car and use it to tie you to the headboard. Then I’d fuck you until they kick us, find a new hotel, and fuck you all night long again.”

“Then what?”

“This isn’t a game!” he thunders as if he’s at war with his wants and needs.

Calmly, I stare up at him to ask. “Then what?”

“Then I…I take you bowling. I make you lumpia every weekend. I hold you in my arms every night, and wake you up with bitter dark coffee every morning. I fucking love you. For the first time I can let myself love you!”

For a brief second, tears form in his eyes. But he blinks them away and stares out the windshield. “None of it matters. It’s just a fantasy. Go. Go home. Please…”

I stare out the open door realizing the winds have shifted. Instead of freezing me, a warm breeze touches my skin and I sigh. He’s trying to keep me safe, as he’s been doing since the day we met on the bar floor. I can feel it in my heart that it’s tearing himself up to protect me.

My foot lands on the pavement and Aubry’s body goes slack.

“I told you.” My fingers wrap around the door handle. Glancing over my shoulder, I meet his eye. “I can protect myself.”

The door slams shut.