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Sadie pauses before opening the driver’s door and looks back to me.

The sun backlights her, turning her white dress damn near invisible.

I drop a hand into the pocket of my sweatpants like I’m reaching for my keys.

The first glance of my cock aches to my tired balls, but I give a hard squeeze to tell the damn thing to stop ruling over me.

I wasn’t exaggerating last night. She is a special kind of torture for me.

This morning, I’d watched her stumbling around trying to dress without making a sound.

The plan had been to let her go as she wanted to.

It’d have made things easier when I up and vanish in a week.

But her ass slapping into the lamp had me bolting up in bed and aching to grab both cheeks.

Breakfast was an excuse to weigh the cons of me fucking her one last time.

I got as far as dumping out Astin’s bowl before I ran back to the shower.

She’s worse than a drug. No one does cocaine eight times their first night.

At least I had enough brains left to let the drain handle any spillage, even if it’s running on fumes at this point.

Last thing she needs is a baby with a wanted man, especially one with my… gifts.

“So, I uh, had a fun time,” Sadie calls back to me.

“Me too.” As if it needed to be said. Eight fucking wonderful times. And those two hours when I could hold her and pretend that my life wasn’t a train on a collision course with a fireworks factory…operated by clowns.

She smiles, her lips red and puffy, and pushes a missed tendril of hair behind her ear. Fuck. All I have to do is walk over there, take her by the chin, kiss those lips I’ve pushed to the breaking…

Heft her into my arms, drop her on the hood of the car, spread those legs, and—

I cough and grab myself again.

“Thank you,” she says.

For the orgasms?

“For saving me. Not a lot of people know how to do that. Or…are willing to.” Her bubbly voice grows cold but the dark clouds roll over my head.

Just thinking of a man watching her fighting to breathe and doing nothing makes me clench my fist. She gave the okay over the food I managed for breakfast while refusing to reveal her allergy. It left me on edge, not wanting to hurt her, while also aching to punish her for making me worry.

Any delusions she has of me being a good guy are best left at that.

“I was more than happy to,” I shout back, realizing this goodbye isn’t as frantic as I’d expected when she grabbed her purse and ran for the door.

“Well…” Impatient silence sizzles between us. I hold the door frame and dig in, forcing myself to remain in place.

Sadie opens her door. “I should get going. See you…” Her offer for more cuts off, and she smiles. “It was fun.”

“Yeah.” My body takes a step.

But she’s already in the driver seat and cranking the engine. I freeze, watching her put into gear, check her mirrors, check them again, then drift backward. Before she vanishes forever, she gives a quick wave of her hand.

I return the gesture along with a, “Bye.”

Forever.

A lovestruck, pussy drunk man would have stood there watching her car pull away. I only checked to make sure she made it around the house without hitting any of those stupid statues. It’s good she’s gone. I got a lot out of my system in one night. Should be good for a month at least.

Still assuring myself I’m not watching her, I finally grab the dinner we let get cold.

Most of it was picked over by wildlife in the night.

At least they like filipino spaghetti too.

Balancing the plates on my hands, I walk toward the back door and happen to glance to the road just as she’s going past. Off to work, to the real world where men don’t murder for money… or turn into vegetables.

Walking up the hill, my feet slip through the dewy grass and kick on something black and lacy. “Huh.” I chuckle to myself recognizing the panties I tore off of her. Bending over, I pick them up and am already moving when it hits me.

She’s bottomless right now, and here I am trying to be…

Not noble. Nothing I did last night was noble. It was sordid, degrading, despicable work…and she kept coming back for more.

If only we’d met in another life.

With her panties secure in my pocket, I wash the dishes and do my best to not stare out the windows.

It’s a beautiful view, one someone would pay a shit load for.

I managed an ‘ask no questions’ rental agreement that everyone walked away from with their limbs intact.

To think, not even a year ago my view was the Strip, lights galore, cars buzzing nonstop, and whatever that ball thing does.

Now my view is trees and winding roads to nowhere.

A coyote howls in the distance, and I sigh.

Neighbors haven’t changed much.

After wiping down the plates, I leave them in the rack to dry. If I’d met Sadhvi when I was running with the Nightshades…

First of all, that fine ass would be in designer gowns sewn onto her. Diamonds on her neck giving me an excuse to stare at her tits whenever I wanted. Hot tubs and high roller suites all day long. No selling fishing poles to men in cargo shorts. No unisex polos barely hiding her away.

And no one would touch her.

Any man so much as saying a crass word her way would be catching a quick meeting with the pavement.

“Mwah?”

I jerk as orange skids across the counter. Astin can handle the jumps, it’s the braking that eludes him. I reach out to stop him and find I have her panties wrung between my hands. Almost like I was about to garrote someone with them.

Ha. I could get inventive back in the day, but I’d never waste my time trying to strangle someone with…

No. I can think of one man to do just that. Derek. I know exactly the kind of man who’d leave a woman choking to death. The type that gets buried under the fifty yard line.

The rumbling of my Astin Martin is followed by him ramming his head into my arm. “Hello to you, too. You have dinner.”

“Meow.”

“I know, it’s not enough. It’s never enough, is it?” He’s getting fat, but I don’t care. Sometimes, when I pick up my rotund, lazy house cat I see the skeletal shrieking animal covered in blood. Then I give him twenty more treats just for surviving.

For trusting me even if he shouldn’t.

“Nice to see you out and about now that the scary lady’s gone. Don’t worry, she won’t be back.” For as much as my dick wants her to be, it isn’t smart. Let her forget…

Okay, let her remember, brag about it, tell her great grandchildren about the time she fucked eight times in one night. But also forget about me. For her sake.

“I think you’d like her,” I tell my unimpressed cat. Astin hasn’t liked anyone since I found him in the shipping container. “She’s a ball of energy. Bounding from one idea to the next with barely anything connecting them. It’s…”

I dangle her panties off of my hand. Astin lines up a paw to bat at them and I pull away. “No, we don’t tear—”

I could keep them. Become the kind of man who has trophies of his best fucks.

I’m screwed up enough. I don’t need to add weird-ass serial killer to the list.

Bundling them high so Astin can’t reach them, I make some stupid promise to mail them back to her. Once I’m gone, of course.

“I have to get your carrier down. Please don’t hide when you see it. I don’t have time to hunt through every fucking room in this place.”

Astin’s mindless batting at what he can’t reach ends. He stretches up my forearm and stares into my soul. I wish I could say he understands me, but there is next to nothing going on in that fluffy head.

“We’ll leave tomorrow.” It’s not too hard to go. I barely unpack at every stop. I just need to find the next safe house. This was supposed to be a long haul, hence picking the house with the security system. But if the Bell twins are already sniffing around…

Sadie in a slinky red dress lands in my mind. I try to laugh at the idea, but it’s getting harder. I’m getting harder. Just thinking of her parting her red lips, down on her knees, her tits nearly bursting out of her dress…

The sex is great. No, it’s fucking fantastic, but it’s also easy. One body, a couple nights, then the next. Don’t get attached. Who knows if either of us will make it to tomorrow? It was easier that way.

It is easier that way.

I’m leaving. I have to leave.

Another thought pops into my head. Not of Sadie on her back whimpering for me. She’s sitting in that tight ferris wheel bucket, doing everything she can to distract me from my damn fear of rickety piece-of-shit rides falling apart. A woman like that a man doesn’t just up and vanish on.

I fish out my phone and search for “Sadhvi Nair + Derek.”

A woman like that deserves a gift first.