Page 2 of Axes & Nos
“I can and I have. Get out Steven.” I don’t raise my voice, I don’t threaten him, I don’t even throw things at him even though I’m very tempted to. Instead of doing any of those things I start mechanically putting away the groceries. The same groceries I was so happy to buy not that long ago as a surprise for Steven. Only Steven had a surprise already waiting for me at home. Home, what was home? I used to think it was where Steven was, but now I don’t know what it is.
“Myra, come on babe. You can’t kick me out, we’re engaged. You love me, remember. I made a mistake, you weren’t around to give me attention again and I got lonely. Really, this is on you as much as it’s on me. Just apologize and all is forgiven, and we can go back to the way things were.” Turning around to face himI’m struck by his beauty again, he’s the perfect male specimen on the outside, but I’ve come torealize inside he’s hideous.
“I wasn’t around because I was working so you could study, so you could pass the bar, so you could go to school without having any other distractions. Do you remember when you agreed to that arrangement?” I ask him quietly as I look into what I now realize are his cold eyes. They’ve always been cold, they’ve never shown emotion, not happy or sad or angry, they’re just cold.
“Of course I remember. I was telling you how hard it would be to concentrate on studying if I had to worry about working to support you. Then you said you would work now but once I had a big enough job you would stay home and have babies like you wanted. Which was cool with me.” I can feel the rage coming back, well at least I can feel something besides this numb feeling.
“That is not how it went. You told me I needed to work while you were going to school, because you couldn’t work and do school at the same time. But that once you were a high-powered attorney you couldn’t have me working because it would look bad on you with the rest of the firm so I would need to stay home and pop out a few kids to make myself useful. Does that sound familiar?” My voice gains in volume as I make my way to him until I’m standing in front of him fury etched across my face.
“Calm down Myra, don't act so dramatic about this. You’re acting like this is something new or not something you knew was coming. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Have you taken a look at yourself in the mirror? Theresa is a ten, I’m a ten, and you are best a five. You can’t be so naive to think that I was actually physically attracted to you.” My mouth falls open in shock. My chest feels like it’s going to cave in from the pain, this is what it must feel like to die of heartbreak. That’s what I’m doing. I'm about to die of a broken heart and Steven probably won’t even care. He’ll probably go running after Theresa.
“If Theresa is such a perfect match for you then why are you still here? Why aren’t you running after her? Why aren’t you blowing up her phone begging her for forgiveness? If I’m so plain, you couldn’t possibly be physically attracted to me then why stay with me?” Steven drops his chin to his chest and starts to chuckle. It’s not one of those you hear from someone genuinely finding something funny, no this is more like the sound you hear right before someone goes off the rails and starts breaking shit or breaking people. I take a small step away from him and reach for the rolling pin just in case. He’s never been a violent person, but I’m not taking any chances.
“Oh, you stupid, stupid, stupid naive girl. Because Theresa is as broke as I am, that's why. She can’t pay my bills, she can’t pay my tuition, and she can’t give me money whenever I want it. You’re a starter wife; she’s a trophy wife. You’ll work for me; she’ll never have to work. Now do you get it? Now do you understand your place? Your job is to get me where I want to be, her job would have been to look good on my arm so I can one day run for office.” I feel slapped and I realize I never really knew him at all. The years we’ve spent together meant nothing to him, ever. How could I be so blind? How could I miss the monster that was living inside him this whole time? Theresa was right, we both deserve better than this asshole.
“Pack your things and get out. This is the last time I will ask you nicely before I call the cops. I imagine you getting arrested for a domestic dispute won’t look so kindly on your record when you pass the bar.” I stand there pointing to the door, my other hand holding my phone, finger poised over the emergency button.
“You can’t kick me out; I'm on the lease. The cops will laugh in your face. Go ahead, call the police!” He yells in my face before laughing like a maniac.
“Oh, you stupid, stupid, stupid man.” I toss his own words back at him with a smirk on my face, knowing I have the upper hand this time. “Your name couldn’t go on the lease because your credit was shit. So, you see I can kick you out. Now pack your bags and leave.” I grit out, trying to hold myself together until he is gone. When he is gone, I can fall apart, when he is gone, I can finish dying, until then I will not show him my weakness.
“You’ll regret this, Myra. Tomorrow you will be calling begging me to come back to you. No one else will ever want you. No one else will ever put up with anal retentiveness. You won’t ever find better than me.” He rants as he stomps off into the bedroom like a toddler not getting his favorite dessert after supper.
Standing in the kitchen I listen to him cursing as the sounds of coat hangers being yanked out of the closet and being slammed into suitcases greet my ears. I don’t move to help him, I don’t think about asking him to stay, I don’t even demand an apology. That sense of numbness is back, and I welcome it. When he’s finished, he stands in front of me, suitcases in his hands, the veins in his neck standing out like they’re about to pop. He looks like he wants to say something to me, his mouth open to start, but then he clamps his teeth closed.
“Goodbye Steven, leave your key in the bowl by the door. I hope someday you find whatever it is you are missing inside you to make you happy.” He scoffs as he heads to the door, I hear the tinkle of the key dropping into the bowl and then the sound of the door slamming shut behind him. That sound is like the closing of a vault inside me, locking away the hurt, the pain, and the heartache, never to be opened for anyone ever again.
Chapter One
Dax
“I need your help this weekend moving Alia and Myra into their new office building.” Chase mentions right as we are heading out the door for work. I look over at him like he’s lost his damn mind. If he thinks I’m giving up my weekend off he’s got another thing coming.
“Why do I have to help your girlfriend and her assistant move all their shit? You’re her boyfriend, you should be doing all the work, not me. I am mate-less, remember. No mate. Zip, zilch, zero mate for me sir.” I pop off as we get in the truck.
Just because his dumbass got himself a mate does not mean my dumbass is part of the package. I mean I am, because I fucking love Alia like she was my own sister, but I’m not telling my pain in the ass brother that. He’ll start getting me to do things like buy her monthly supplies or some shit. I’m not picking up his slack, he wants to make brownie points with his mate that’s on him, not me. I mean I do kind of owe him for stepping up when our parents died but that doesn’t mean I’m buying tampons or pads for a woman that ain’t mine.
“Come on, it will just be a few hours tops. Mr. Anderson was going to hire movers, but I told him not to worry about it. We could handle it. He’s already giving Alia this sweet as hell job; I didn’t want him wasting money on something like that.It’s just a couple of boxes and a few furniture items. The rest of their stuff is being shipped in from wherever businesspeople get their fancy desks and shit. Mr. Anderson said Alia deserved something nice for agreeing to come work for him. I don’t think he realizes how much this job means to Alia.” Chase gives me his best impression of big puppy dog eyes with the lash blink and everything.
“Maybe he does know how much it means to her which is why he gave her this job to begin with. I mean I’ve met that old man and he’s one smart cookie. I’m ninety-eight percent sure he knows we are shifters, and he still hired Alia because she’s going to kill this job. I don’t mean literally, because even though some of those assholes she’s going against deserve it Alia isn’t the stabby, stabby murder kind of raccoon.” Actually, I’m pretty sure Alia would murder anyone who fucked with her people but I’m not pointing that out to Mr. Anderson just in case.
“You’re probably right, but I want to make this as easy on him and her as possible. So come on bro, broster, broarama, help your brother and his mate out this weekend. Do I need to play the sympathy card? I can play it. Are you going to make me say it? Here it comes...” I put my hands up in surrender, because I know exactly what he’s about to say. He’s going to pull the ‘I never told mom and dad you snuck out the house that one time and got drunk and I had to pick you up and you puked in my car all the way home card.
Granted mom and dad are dead so it’s not like he could tell them now anyway. Plus, I’m a grown ass man now they couldn’t punish me even if they wanted to. Who am I kidding if they were still alive, they could totally punish me somehow. I don’t know how, but they could have somehow. Fuck, I owe him!
We could always fight him for it. I like the sound of that, let’s fight. I want to fight.
Well, fuckmeverymuch there goes my tiger chiming in. Shut the fuck up monster, no one asked your opinion.
Fuck you, I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. I come up with the best ideas, and I say let's fight him.
Lies, all lies. You come up with the shittiest ideas that usually involve me getting into a fight with someone. You are the least best thing that has ever happened to me. Shut the fuck up!
“Fine, I’ll help Saturday! But if you start asking me to grab tampons and shit, I’m drawing my line in the sand I ain’t doing that shit for your woman. That’s on you!” I declare as Chase gives me a side-eye that says he thinks I’ve lost my mind and maybe I have. My damn tiger wants to fight everyone and everything all the damn time ever since those damn wolves took my sister Evren as a hostage. He’s confused about who and what is a threat to me and mine now.
“Oookay. I wasn’t going to ask you to but thanks for letting me know, you psychopath.” He says with a glare in my direction while I’m flipping him the bird. He doesn’t know how right he is calling me a psychopath.
Can we fight now? Can we?