Page 51 of Axel (Belles & Bratva Beasts #2)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

AXEL

“She knows ,” Loch fumes. “And she hates me now.”

“What do you mean she knows ?” I bolt up from the warm bed I was sharing with Ruby, seething into my phone, “How the fuck did she find out?”

“Her best friend, Vale, Nash’s queen; she figured it out.” Loch barks right back at me, “I told you this would happen. We never should’ve lied to her.”

“Where are you? Where’s Alena?”

I say her name with my back to Ruby, the reality hitting me like a truck; I haven’t told her about Alena yet.

Fuck, I forgot. I’ve been so overwhelmed.

My half-brother.

My father.

My son.

For God’s sake, I can’t catch a break or a breath.

“I’m with Mom in her villa, and Alena’s in her bedroom with Nash, talking to him. It’s his right. He’s her father. He’s telling her everything, but goddammit, it’s my right, too,” Loch rages. “I need to talk to her. She’s going to fucking hate me.”

That makes two of us.

“What are you going to do?”

“Fight like hell for her!” He roars. “And you’re going to own this shit. You and Nash. You’ll look Alena in the eye and tell her what you did. Don’t you dare pull rank on me now! Do you fucking hear me?”

Damn, he’s mad.

Loch may be my baby brother, but he’s got more grit than the rest of us.

I prefer guns, knives, and salt. I deploy power with precision.

Yes, I was raised to be merciless, to rule, while Loch doesn’t even remember our father.

His power is American-made. He was raised here.

He fights hand-to-hand, raw and ruthless. It’s why he wanted to be a Marine.

I convinced him otherwise. I told him his duty was to our family first. To Alena. To protect her, and he did.

He does.

“Tell her,” Loch growls at me, “that I already had a ring for her. I was going to ask her, before you and Nash told me I had to marry her. Don’t let Alena believe for one goddamn second that I don’t love her!”

I turn around and look Ruby in the eye.

She’s clutching the sheet to her chest, her eyes wide and worried, hearing my half of the shouting match.

“I’ll tell her,” I answer Loch, but swear to Ruby’s eyes. “I promise, I’ll tell her everything.”

“You fucking better,” he snaps. “Here’s The Queen. She wants to speak with you.”

Please, everyone.

Pile on the Fuck Axel train.

Last stop: Hell.

“You know when you boys fight it makes my ass twitch,” Mom fusses at me on the phone and Loch, who must be standing beside her.

“My youngest baby’s mad. My grandgirl’s crying.

Nash is trying to make her feel better, and we’re fixing this.

I want all the kings at my club tomorrow morning. We need to meet.”

“What about the queens?”

I stare at mine, her hair tumbling in dark flames.

“Where is Ruby?” Of course, Mom worries about her, too.

“With me. In my villa.”

“While you’re gone,” she replies calmly, “I’ll put more guards on her and all the queens.”

“My Queen, shouldn’t our queens join us?”

Instinct tells me not to leave Ruby. But my mother’s pause is long, and waiting for me to think with my head, not my heart.

“We have too many unknown variables, my son,” she answers wisely. “I won’t expose our queens to risk. I want this meeting just between the kings until we know … everything .”

Until we know which brother, if any, betrayed us. Who sold me and my son to our father?

My mom’s still keeping Roman captive. Now that she has his intel, I suspect they’re getting everything else they want from each other.

“Yes, my Queen,” I answer.

“What’s going on?” Ruby asks when I end the call.

“Alena just found out about Loch.” I sit on the edge of the bed. The edge of my truth. “Vale figured it out. She’s Alena’s best friend, and I don’t blame her for telling Alena. So now, Nash is telling Alena everything about our family and?—”

“Oh, god,” Ruby sighs. “Poor, Alena. And it’s three days before her wedding? But then again, I’d want to know everything about my husband before I got married.”

I wince.

“Loch loves her.” Like I love you, dammit. “He’ll try to explain. He just needs her to give him a chance.” Like I hope you’ll give me.

She reaches for my hand. “So, what can I do to help?”

Damn, just when I can’t love you more.

“You can help by letting me tell you something I should’ve long ago. And when I do, don’t run away. Stay and fight with me about it.”

“Well…” Her face falls. “That’s ominous as fuck.”

My heart pounds, way past anxious. I’m afraid to say this. And it’s fucking insane.

Am I afraid to die? No. Why fear the inevitable?

But am I afraid I’ll lose Ruby? Yeah. I don’t want to live without her.

“It’s about Alena.”

She swallows. And when she doesn’t speak, it only makes this worse.

“When Alena was twenty-one, she asked me to take her virginity.” Her eyes widen. “And I did, because she was crying and saying she felt ugly and unloved and?—”

“Is she in love with you?” She blinks fast, like she’s fighting back tears.

“Never. She used me, and I could say it was a mistake, but it’s not. She needed my help, and I felt sorry for her. I know it’s a dickhead thing to say, but it’s true. Alena’s one of our queens, and I couldn’t stand to see her crying and feeling so unloved and?—”

Her bottom lip trembles. “Do you love her ?”

“No. Not like I love you.”

She flinches.

And…

Fuck!!!

Goddammit, we need more than one fucking word for this.

“I mean… Ruby, despite my reputation, I’m not a total dickhead.

I’m not going to take a woman’s virginity and say it meant nothing.

Alena’s one of our queens, and helping her felt right.

It felt loyal and like love, I guess, but it’s the love I feel for Wren, Delphine, and Zar, too.

Hell, even Vale, though sh e lives to hate me.

It’s how a king feels for the other queens.

” I pause. “It’s how I guess you’ll feel for Grant.

You’ll love me, but you’ll feel loyal to him, too. ”

Tears spill over her lashes. The shock makes her shake her head. “Why did you wait this long to tell me?”

“I needed you to trust that, yeah, I can be a dickhead, but I’m one who’s madly in love with you. Only you. And I worried that you’d judge me and hate me.”

“Because she’s marrying your brother?”

“Hopefully.”

“And she’s your best friend’s daughter?”

“Yes.”

“And she’s… She’s your goddaughter ?”

That one felt a tinge of judgment.

“I never felt that way. I’m not her father figure. She was like a friend. I’m only twelve years older than her. Hell, she’s almost the same age as you. And all I’ve ever felt is protective over her, and all she’s felt is trust in me. It was never more than that. Please believe me.”

Tears fall from her raging blue eyes, streaming down her flushed, freckled cheeks, pooling in the seam of her pink lips, and dripping from her dainty jaw.

Fuck, Ruby’s tears kill me.

All the silent ones I saw my mother shed. I swore I’d never be a man like that; a man who makes a woman cry.

And here I am. Realizing how you don’t have to hit someone to hurt them. Words. Lies. Betrayal. They can wound, too.

I’ve hurt Ruby. More than anyone, I know. But I can’t break her. I don’t think any man can.

Because she clutches the sheet to her chest, her fist blanching white with fury while she lifts her chin, making me witness the pain pouring down her face.

The pain I put there .

Tinker Bell with auburn hair—that’s who Ruby looks like.

Tinker Bell with a loaded Uzi—that’s my queen staring back at me.

Her silence seeps into my skin like the heavy humidity outside. I let her study my face and search my eyes while her tears dry.

I don’t know what else to say except, “Please believe that I’ve said the word love before, but I never felt it until you. Until you let me take care of you, and I will. I’ll love you until my dying day.”

She lifts her chin even higher.

Such a goddamn queen.

“That’ll be soon once Loch and Nash find out.”

Her tone is growing cold. It scares me, but I deserve it.

I nod. “I’ll tell them next, but I wanted to tell you first.”

She purses her lips, ordering, “No. Don’t tell them. That’s Alena’s right.”

“But what about my rights? That’s my brother. That’s my best friend. I should look them in the eye and tell them.”

“You want a perfect world, go live in a fairytale,” she fumes. “But in this one? Men take too much from women as it is. Their bodies. Their safety. Their secrets. Their lives. Fuck that. Alena will tell her father and her husband, not you. You and your dick head have done enough.”

Now she’s raging hot. Good. I’d rather have her wildfire than her ice.

And fuck me; she truly sounds like a queen, defending another one.

“Do you have any questions for me?”

“Yes. Do you prefer cremation or burial after I fucking kill you for lying to me?”

“Is that a question?” I grin. “I love your fire.”

“Don’t fuck around, Axel. I’m going to be mad for a long time. Are you man enough to handle it? ”

“Like I’ll ever leave you.”

Her eyes sharpen. “Like I’ll ever leave you, either. I’m too damn stubborn. I meant it. I love you and I’ll stay. I’ll be your queen. And you’ll be my king who puts up with my rage with a goddamn smile on his face until I’m done.”

Pain and pride swirl in her deep blue eyes. They’re a raging ocean of emotions I’ve caused. I just hope our love doesn’t drown.

“I’m sorry.”

I feel it in my bones. My soul. My heart that’s pounding, but will never give up on our love.

“And I don’t know what I feel.” She flips the sheet open. “So, sleep beside me in case I feel like murdering you in your sleep.”

“That was your dream. Right? Me, being murdered in my sleep.” I slide in beside her.

“Oh, no,” she mutters. “You’re going to live long and hard over this.”

She’s not raging. She’s not running. I almost wish she would, because this new version of Ruby? It’s impressive. It’s terrifying. It’s seductive.

It’s my queen.

I turn off the light and roll her way, needing to hold her.

But she turns her back on me, cuddling her pillow.

For minutes, I stare at her curvy silhouette and fiery hair. I’m respecting her boundaries. The last thing she wants is for me to touch her.

“Axel?”

“Yes?”

“Did you kiss her?”

“No. I mean…” Fuck, no more secrets. “Not on her lips. Just enough to?—”

“Was she good?”

Shit. This is fucking with her head. It would fuck with mine too. Hell, I’m tempted to murder every man Ruby’s ever been with, while she’s just asking about one woman.

“I’m trying to be a gentleman here. I don’t want?—”

“Just tell me. Was Alena better than me?”

Jesus fuck.

That’s what she’s worried about?

I have to catch my breath. I have to speak through a strangled throat. I have to fight my own tears.

“Ruby, you bring me to my knees. Only you. Every goddamn time I touch you.”

She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t move.

It feels like forever passes, and I know she’s not asleep.

But when I hear her muffled crying.

Fuck respecting boundaries.

I wrap around her and hold her tight.

“You lied to me,” she whispers, “and it hurts so much.”

“I know. I know, and I’m so sorry.”

“I need time.”

I swallow. “And I need you. Take all the time you need.”

Please, don’t need long.

But she does.

Days become weeks that bleed into over a month, which almost kills me.