Page 46 of August Lane

CHAPTER TWENTY

A ugust rode to church with Jojo. The Mercedes had more room inside than she’d pictured. The seats sank like pillows when she sat on them, and the air smelled artificial, like expensive plastic.

“You seem sad,” Jojo said, easing the car down Main Street. She slowed even more after spotting a man selling peaches on the side of the road. “Remind me to stop there on the way back.”

August smoothed a wrinkle from her dress. It was a knee-length cotton navy that Birdie had embroidered with white flowers at the hem. Those handmade touches were always comforting, like nothing could harm her while cloaked in her grandmother’s love.

“Someone hurt my feelings,” she said. “I’ll get over it.”

“Should you?”

August had lost count of Luke’s apologies.

By Friday, while everyone else obsessed over homecoming, he was slipping notes into her locker, begging her to talk to him.

She’d ignored them, but over the weekend she’d started to regret giving him the silent treatment.

He was right about her hiding in that dressing room.

If Richard Green’s opinion didn’t matter, why was she avoiding him?

Why did a smirk from Jessica Ryder turn her inside out?

“He didn’t hurt me on purpose,” August said. “He tries to make everyone happy, even when he can’t.”

“Except you.” Jojo’s voice was steeped in judgment.

“He makes me happy,” August said, though it sounded inadequate. Before Luke, she’d been starved for feelings she didn’t know existed. He feeds me would have been more accurate. Loving him is water.

They arrived late, but Jojo had never cared about that. She enjoyed making an entrance. It used to thrill August when she was younger, walking down the aisle at her glamorous mother’s hip. But now, August avoided being the center of attention. People rarely stared at her for a good reason.

Birdie spotted them from the choir stand and motioned for August to join her.

“Not today,” Jojo said, and grabbed August’s arm. She stared at Birdie as she spoke. “They can live without you for one week. I want my daughter beside me.”

These were the trickiest parts of her mother’s visits, knowing who to side with when they disagreed.

Birdie was the everyday authority August obeyed by default.

Jojo was the wildcard that had to be handled cautiously.

When August took her mother’s side, it was in situations like this one, when Jojo seemed eager to fight about something that seemed insignificant on the surface.

Her mother had fault lines. August often saw them too late, when the ground was already shaking.

Jojo looked around, gifting her glossy pink smile to dazzled faces. Service was delayed because people refused to settle into the pews before greeting her. August received more smiles than usual. She whispered in Jojo’s ear, “They’re never this nice to me.”

“I know,” Jojo whispered back. “Hypocrites are always first in line when you have something they want.”

August nodded, even though she couldn’t imagine having anything they’d consider valuable. But then a little girl said, “You look like her,” and it clicked. Today, she wasn’t Theo’s orphan or Birdie’s burden. She was the daughter of Jojo Lane. Exceptional through proximity.

“They’re gonna ask me to sing,” Jojo said halfway through the service.

August agreed. Their pastor had spent ten minutes of their praise and worship time praising and worshipping Jojo for returning to her church home, which he’d somehow connected to the virtues of tithing.

August tried to exchange an exasperated look with Mavis, who sat directly behind him in the choir stand.

Mavis didn’t smother a smile like she usually did. Instead, she glared and looked away.

“Is that little May?” Jojo asked. “That girl got big and beautiful. When did that happen?”

August stared at her cousin, silently willing her to make eye contact again. “She hates that nickname.”

Pastor Reed invited Jojo to the microphone. The room stirred as Jojo walked to the front and asked the band to play “God Is Trying to Tell You Something.”

Everyone got excited. The song was popular, but that wasn’t why Jojo had picked it.

Years ago, while August was watching The Color Purple with her, crying during the reunion of Shug Avery and her pastor father, Jojo had said, “She doesn’t need that man’s forgiveness.

Look how she owns that church. Sailing on a sea of sinners and ministering to saints. ”

Now as Jojo sang, the same people who constantly gossiped about her mother’s past raised their hands and shouted “Amen!” Jojo put on an impromptu concert, mixing hymns with songs from her album.

Three hours later, August was tired and starving, seconds away from recommitting herself to God if it would close the open call for prayer.

When they were finally dismissed, August found Mavis and tapped her shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

The look Mavis gave her was worse than the earlier glare. It was fury skinned alive. She grabbed August’s arm and pulled her into an empty hallway. “Who did you tell?”

August immediately knew what she meant. “No one.”

“Jessica Ryder called last night and asked if I had an abortion.”

“ Jessica? I would never…” August trailed. She would have never told Jessica about Mavis’s pregnancy. But she had told Luke that she needed money to help a friend. She’d been trying to impress him, make him think she was a good person. “I told Luke I was helping you. That’s all.”

“Luke Randall? He took her to homecoming Saturday!” She groaned. “Why do boys make you so stupid?”

You should talk , August thought, but she didn’t say it. She didn’t want to sink that low. “He paid me to teach him how to write a song. I don’t know how he figured out—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Mavis’s face was stone, but tears spilled down her cheeks. “I told her it wasn’t true. That I was the one helping you .”

It took August a second to realize what she was implying. “You said what?”

Mavis covered her face and started crying. “It slipped out!”

August yanked Mavis’s hands down so she could see her eyes. “What did you tell Jessica?”

“That it was you. You had the abortion.”

Someone gasped. August turned to find Birdie staring at them, horrified. Jojo stood a few steps behind her, but she wasn’t looking at August. She kept her eyes on her mother.

Birdie yanked open the closet door and started shoving August’s clothes around, like there were more secrets in the coats and jeans pockets. “What am I gonna find?”

“Nothing,” August said. She sat on the bed, watching her grandmother unravel. Jojo hovered in the doorway, arms folded, with an expression August had never seen before. Her mother seemed angry, but also a little scared.

Birdie faced August. “How long has Mavis been lying for you?”

August took her time answering. They’d only heard the end of the conversation, but Mavis had been terrified, seconds from confessing. She wasn’t built for this kind of trouble. The fallout would crush her.

“Just this once,” August said quietly. She glanced at Jojo. “There’s nothing else.”

“I don’t believe you.” Birdie whirled around and yanked more clothes onto the floor. “You’ve been sleeping with that boy. That Luke . You killed his baby!”

“It wasn’t a baby,” Jojo said.

Birdie glared at her. “You be quiet.”

“Don’t get mad at her,” August said. “I did this.”

Birdie squeezed her eyes shut. “That man lied to me. Silas said he was looking after you.”

“Silas?” Jojo rounded on August. “What does he have to do with this?”

August recoiled at first, but then straightened her spine. Silas wasn’t Theo. He was family and he loved her. “Silas didn’t do anything wrong. He helped me when I needed it.”

“Helped you get in trouble, sounds like.”

“Well, at least he’s here ,” August snapped. Jojo stilled. They had a standoff, until August lowered her eyes and mumbled, “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“Yes, you did.” Jojo looked at Birdie. “You knew about this? That she’s been going to Delta Blue?”

Birdie stared at August, her eyes red and shimmering. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The truth was right there, ready to come out and heal things. August could tell them she’d never been pregnant and had lied to protect her cousin. But Mavis didn’t cause this. None of it would have happened if August hadn’t said what she did to Luke.

“You would have tried to make me keep it,” August said, which was true. If she’d come home pregnant, Birdie would have emptied August’s bank account, put padlocks on the windows, done whatever she could to save her immortal soul. “No one should be forced to—”

“Leave her alone, Mama,” Jojo interrupted. Her arms were still folded, but now her nails clawed into her biceps, rippling the skin. “You’re making it worse.”

“Don’t tell me how to discipline a ch—” Birdie stopped, startled, as if she’d just realized the word child didn’t apply to August anymore. “I raised her.”

“But she’s my mother,” August countered.

“ She tried to kill you! I saved your life!”

Jojo stalked out of the room. August stared at the spot she had abandoned before shoving off the bed and rushing after her. Birdie didn’t move.

“Mom! Jojo! I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” Jojo went to her room and grabbed her suitcase. She started packing, throwing linen and silk into a messy pile. “Don’t ever apologize for being right. I’m never here. I don’t belong and I should stop pretending to.”

“Yes, you do.” August dug deep, trying to find the version of herself that her mother liked. The funny, interesting girl on the phone calls. “Birdie’s just—she didn’t mean what she said. You know how she gets about this stuff.”

“I do know.” Jojo clicked the suitcase shut. “Better than you. She’ll never forgive me for any of it. Theo. Having a baby.” She looked past August, at the wall. Her voice had changed, anger smoothing into detachment. “I was supposed to die here with her. Now she’s got you.”