Page 5

Four

Caed

A ncestors’ hairy fucking ballsacks. Everything hurts.

A raw groan tears free of my throat, and coppery blood floods my mouth a moment later. I can hear my heartbeat as it throbs through my body like a drumbeat. The little queen is sending me her energy, offering me a lifeline that I’m too weak to reject like I ought to, and I fucking whimper as another rush of power sings through my battered organs.

Healing sucks.

“Shut it. I only just got Prae to sleep.”

Gryffin’s grumpy hiss on my left is the last thing I need, and I clamp my hands over the side of my head… or I try to.

Instant, agonising pain assaults me. It arcs down my spine, stealing my breath so quickly that I can’t even scream—not that my vocal cords are in any mood to entertain producing sound.

What the fuck happened?

Like it’s been waiting for me to ask, my memory returns like a slap to my face.

Visiting my cousin in their love nest because I was bored.

The redcap blinking in to tell us that Elfhame had fallen.

Crumpling inside because I stupidly thought I had more time to figure that shit out.

Stabbing Prae . Watching in horror as she fell.

Grabbing a healer and forcing him in her direction as my body dragged me on to the next part of my task.

Stroking Rose’s silky soft hair, praying to the Goddess that I’d delayed long enough to get caught and then?—

A nathair’s bite. That explains a lot. Fuck.

The moisture slipping free of the corner of my eyes burns my too-sensitive skin as it falls. Gryffin scoffs quietly at the sight, and I would give him the finger, but my damned arms still aren’t cooperating.

This is it. I fucked up. I tried to stay away from her, but my father ordered me to earn their trust. Not that I ever could. Now it’ll never happen.

At least my cousin is alive, by some miracle.

Wait…

If Gryffin is here, stuck in whatever dungeon they’ve chucked me in, then I can only assume that the rest of the Guard has decided they’re my accomplices.

They’ll die with me. She survived for nothing.

“Tell them you both had nothing to do with it.” I hate the way my voice crackles and breaks, like I’ve not had a drink in months. “You’re a fucking fairy prince. They have to believe you.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you’re the only one taking the blame for this particular shitstorm,” Gryffin promises. “And keep your voice down.”

The asshole is completely unsympathetic, and I wish I could stab him for it.

Goddess, I’ve got to get myself up and try to explain before he and my cousin are executed for my mistakes. Still, I may as well be trying to lift a boulder with each eyelid. The most I manage is a blur of piercing light that hurts more than talking, so I quickly give up. Fuck, this is exhausting.

“I think I’m gonna sleep some more,” I slur.

I’m not actually sure if I even manage to finish the sentence, because the blackness takes hold midway through.

Danu isn’t so merciful as to let me linger in dreamless sleep. Instead, I dream of my downfall.

The stab wound to my chest still burns as I kneel before my father. After a day spent pilloried in the middle of the camp, and a night caged with the fae prisoners, I’m bruised and bloody. Still, he ignores my breathing corpse, keeping his attention on the other two males in his tent.

“Our warriors and equipment are ready to sail for Elfhame at the next tide, sire,” Draard announces.

“Excellent. And the legion who lost control of the western peninsula?”

“We’ve relieved the legion garrisoned there with no issues.” The second male, a commander I don’t know, salutes. “We won’t let you down, sire.”

Elatha waves his hand, dismissing the soldier without a word.

It’s a trick, but the commander is too busy thanking his lucky stars to realise my father has never heard of mercy or second chances.

He practically runs from the tent on shaking legs, leaving me to ponder what horrible fate awaits him. Unfortunately, his absence leaves my father free to focus on me, and something in my empty stomach rebels under his scrutiny.

The approval I’ve always sought is finally shining from the depths of those black eyes, and I haven’t done anything to earn it.

That’s when it finally clicks in my dumb-ass brain. I’m only seeing it now because I’m no longer a person in his eyes. His regard now is the kind you give a well-balanced sword. Impersonal, but with appreciation for the skill of its maker.

I spent years trying to gain that sliver of acknowledgement, and this is how I finally achieve it?

I want to be sick.

“If you ever gave a shit about me,” I whisper. “Let me die.”

Elatha’s eyes narrow, a small smile gracing his lips. “I’ve filled this camp with pathetic fairies for you to free. Your slaughter of that useless legion will provide the perfect cover for your escape and reunion with the Nicnevin. You can even return her precious brother.”

Goddess, he’s lining up the pieces for me to rejoin Rose’s Guard, which he would only do if it benefited him.

“Caedmon Fomorii, I order you to return to the Nicnevin’s side. You won’t speak of my presence here, and you won’t give them any reason to suspect your true intentions.” There’s a pause where Draard beams like he’s in on some great joke. “Once you hear that we’ve taken Elfhame City, you’ll separate her from the rest of her Guard and bring her directly to me. Oh, and sink a dagger into Praedra’s back while you’re at it.”

My throat seals up, a wordless noise of distress breaking free of my chest.

His commands twist around me like invisible chains that sink beneath my flesh. It’s the swift, painful death of that fragile hope that began to bloom when I saw the top hat appear on my arm…

“Get up.”

For a second, the dullahan’s snapped command merges with the dream, and I frown at my father, trying to figure out why he’s using Drystan’s voice.

“We don’t have all day, Fomorian.”

I will deny it every step of the way to my fucking grave, but I’m grateful for the asshole as the details of the tent distort. My eyelids—more cooperative now that I’ve had a little time to heal—open, but I still have to blink several times to clear my vision.

My cell is bland, all earthen walls without even a window to tell me how long I’ve been out. The cot beneath me is surprisingly comfortable, and the air is warmer, which gives me pause. We must have left the winter wasteland.

Turning my head hurts, but not quite as much as it did before.

Rose is on the other side of the bars, glowing like the Goddess she is, with the rest of her Guard surrounding her. Prae and Gryffin aren’t here, and I wonder if that was purposefully done, or if they’re already dead.

My lips part, ready to ask, but Rose holds her hand up for silence.

The tear-stains on her cheeks are a punch to the gut, so I shut my mouth and try to swallow the dry claggy feeling in my throat.

“Will you let me use my magic on you?” she asks.

Fuck, all the progress I made with her is gone. Her wings flutter anxiously like I might try to snatch her at any moment, and she’s started worrying her lower lip between her teeth.

“Is killing me once not enough?” I reply bitterly. “You want to keep my ghost around so I can be useful in the afterlife?”

Is that what they’ve done to Prae? Shit. Where is my cousin and her dumb-ass mate?

Drystan snorts. “Now there’s an idea.”

“Where’s Prae?” I ask, my urgency cutting through his derision. “Is she…?”

The grim line of Rose’s mouth softens. “She’s fine. The healer you threatened got to her in time. She’s barely left your side while you recovered.”

My breath whooshes out of me, and my head thunks back against the pillow in relief. I owe my cousin a lot, and apparently, I should apologise to that healer, too.

In my defence, I was a little stressed when I threatened to eat his children if he let Prae die.

“They had nothing to do with it,” I swear. “Prae would never?—”

“We know,” Rose reassures me. “She’s safe. Gryffin is making her take a break. Once she’s rested, she’ll probably come back to sit with you again.”

There’s a heavy pause, and my gut lurches as I ask the question I don’t want to know the answer to. “Were you hurt?”

She offers me a tiny smile. “I’m fine. Bree got to me in time.” She pauses. “I wish I’d realised why you were putting so much distance between us for the last month. I should’ve known something was wrong.”

How could she? Elatha told me to give them no reason to suspect anything. Even my quietness was pushing the bounds of my orders. Not to mention all the worry and stress that her pilgrimage caused her. Her focus wasn’t on me, and it shouldn’t have had to be.

“I’m sorry. I tried so hard to tell you, but it wasn’t enough.” That admission is skirting the edge of the orders. “I wasted time distancing us when I should’ve just taken every second with you that I could get.”

In the end, it all led to this, anyway.

Something in her eyes cracks, and she takes a half-step forward before the dullahan’s hand comes to rest on her shoulder, stopping her.

“Rose wants to charm you,” Jaro interjects, dragging us back to the topic at hand. “Prae and Rose believe that what happened in Calimnel wasn’t your fault. You can prove it by letting her use her gift on you.”

They figured it out? My heart threatens to soar out of my body. Will that work? I shove myself up on shaky arms so I’m sitting facing her.

“Yes.” It’s not even a question. Why hasn’t she done it already?

I know the answer, of course. The little queen is far too concerned with ethics for a being of potentially absolute power.

Rose turns to her Guard. “What should I ask?”

“Start by asking him to recall what happened while he was in the camp,” Jaro suggests. “Most geasa are quite specific, but you might be able to get an idea of what he was commanded to do.”

“Besides kidnapping my pretty pet,” Lore’s hat is currently an executioner’s hood, and the feral glint of his red eyes from within sends a shiver down my spine.

He isn’t happy with me, not that I blame him.

“Caed.” Rose draws my attention back to her with one gentle word. “ Please tell me everything that happened after you ran away from General Reyni’s camp until we found you again. Don’t leave anything out.”

Goddess, her charm is fucking heady. Does she know that? Her violet eyes literally sparkle as the urge to do whatever she wants seizes me.

“I heard a fight,” I begin. “It was a bear shifter against a bunch of Fomorians. I dived in because I was upset and hurt.” Shit, some small part of the back of my mind is screaming, because why the fuck did I just admit that? “She had a cub, so I told her to take the kid and run.”

Drystan’s eyebrows are climbing up his forehead in my peripheral vision, but I can’t focus on him. Everything except for Rose has fallen away. “I was outnumbered, and had no magic, so they shot me full of bolts and dragged me back to their camp. In the command tent?—”

I choke on my own tongue.

“Elatha was there,” Rose finishes for me. “And who else?”

Her words are so sweet, made sickeningly so by the magic hanging heavy in the air.

“Draard,” I cover my mouth with my hand as I hack and cough.

Rose’s brow creases, and she breaks eye contact for a second to exchange glances with the rest of her Guard. A chill settles in my bones, like the sun has disappeared behind the clouds. When she turns her focus onto me again, the warmth returns.

“If you can, would you please tell us what was said at that meeting?”

“He—” I gag, still unable to confirm my father’s presence, even though she knows. “I talked about my curse. It didn’t go down well?—”

Fuck, I’m going to cough up a lung. Blood paints my palm as I draw it away.

“Rosie,” Jaro murmurs. “Ask something else. If he fights the geas too much, it could do permanent damage.”

She bites her lip. “Aside from kidnapping me, did you complete all the things your father ordered you to do while you were there?”

“Yes.” My breath whooshes out of me.

Drystan scowls. “Do you feel any compulsion to try again?”

I think back to the moment Lore said those three little words, remembering with a shudder the compelling fog that settled over me. It was like being a passenger in my own body. All I could do was watch as I tricked Prae into being alone with me and then used her bad eye against her.

Elatha only ordered me to sink a knife into her back. I’ve done that.

“Prae is safe,” I admit, shoulders sagging with relief.

“And Rose?” Jaro presses.

My mouth glues itself shut, which is an answer in itself. The urge to break out of here and take her is a riot beneath my skin.

“He’ll try to kidnap you again the second you let him free,” Drystan surmises, and Rose nods.

“I know.” She’s quiet for a moment. “I think we can use that.”

My head whips up. “No.”

Absolutely not. She needs to lock me up and throw away the key. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll kill my father before Beltaine, though I doubt it. He’s a cunning bastard. I’m honestly surprised he crossed the Endless Sea in the first place.

“What are you thinking?” Bree asks, hugging her from behind and pressing a kiss to the crook of her neck while his ears remain fixed on me.

“Elatha doesn’t want me dead,” Rose begins. “He asked Caed to take me to him. So what if we let him?”

“ Let him ?” Drystan looks like he might pass out. He’s bypassed rage and gone straight into pure, panic-fuelled fury.

Rose smiles at him, placing a hand on his arm. “Breathe. We’ll take precautions, but you wanted a way to get people inside the palace. This is it.”

Jaro’s actually considering it, and I glare at him. “We can discuss it.”

“No,” I repeat. “You can’t. He—” My voice cuts out, throat closing over. “If she goes to him—” I hack up more blood.

Do they want me to beg? I’ll get on my fucking knees if I have to.

“Elfhame will be full of iron, and I can’t use my magic in his presence.”

He never rescinded the order he gave me beneath the mountain all those months ago.

The dullahan raises an eyebrow, turning back to the little queen as he visibly searches for his lost composure. “Exactly. What do you plan to do when you’re there?”

“We lost the palace.” Rose’s lips thin. “That means there will be a lot of fae spirits lurking around. If you can keep me away from the iron, I can use that, just like I did when we freed those forts on the north coast.” She holds a hand up to his lips. “I’m not saying it’s a perfect plan. There are details we can figure out, but it could work.”

“Please,” I whisper, and it’s a hoarse, broken word that tastes like copper and defeat. “You’ll hand him everything.”

Lore hands me his cap with a manic grin as Rose regards me with sad purple eyes. “I intend to.” Her spine straightens. “And then I’m going to rip it all away.”