Page 10

Atlas

Graduation night had come, and the air felt thick, oppressive, like a storm waiting to break. The finality of it all pressed down on me, suffocating. I wasn’t ready—not for this, not for any of it. There were so many things I still wanted to do before I surrendered to the life my parents had mapped out for me. I gripped the neck of the champagne bottle and took a long swig, feeling the tickle of the bubbles as it went down. It was supposed to be a celebration, but I felt like I was mourning everything I was about to lose.

The house I rented for the night was alive, but none of it touched me. I was on the outside, watching it all like some distorted movie where everyone’s smiling, but the colors are too bright, the sounds too sharp. My mind kept circling back to Kairi. She’d been avoiding my parties for years, putting up walls, but she showed up tonight, at the end of us, looking like a fucking dream in that white dress, her hair cascading down her back like a waterfall of ink. It was torture.

The noise inside was too much, so I slipped outside, into the cool night air. It was a relief, like I could finally breathe again. I wandered toward the back of the house, needing space, needing to get away, and there she was—Kairi, lying in the grass in her pretty white dress, looking like a fallen angel who’d lost her way.

“Kairi,” I called softly, not wanting to startle her.

She turned her head slowly, and when our eyes met, I saw them—tears she was trying to hold back. “Atlas.”

Hearing my name in her voice, filled with melancholy, did something to me, something dark and twisted that I couldn’t ignore. It made me want to risk everything just to fix whatever had made her sad. I moved closer, lowering myself to the ground beside her. “You’ve been avoiding me all night. What’s going on between you and Ashlen? Why are you two angry with each other? You moved out of the apartment?”

She shook her head, brushing it off like it was nothing. “We’re fine, Atlas. Just a little disagreement. You know how we do.”

I didn’t believe her, not for a second, but I didn’t push it. Instead, I asked, “What’s really going on, Kairi? You’ve looked sad all night.”

She sighed, the weight of the world in that simple exhale. “My dad. He told me to start my life and not come back home. He’s been living like he died with my mother, and I think he wants me to live like I still have a future. It’s just... hard.”

“I’m sorry, Kairi. I have the exact opposite problem. My family wants to control everything—who I am, who I become, even who I marry. They’ve got my whole life planned out, and I’m just a puppet in their show.”

She looked at me then, her eyes wide with something that felt like understanding, and that scared the hell out of me. “I’m sorry too.” She started to get up, like she could just walk away from everything I’d laid bare.

Frustration clawed at my insides, twisting them into knots. “You’re leaving?”

“Yes,” she said simply, without emotion, and stood.

I snapped. This might be my last time ever seeing her again. “No,” I growled, anger and desperation mixing into something primal. I grabbed her arm, pulling her back down, and before I knew it, I was on top of her. Her body, soft and warm beneath me, made my heart race. This is what I had been missing all my life. This feeling I was feeling. I couldn’t even describe it.

She went still, her pupils blown wide, her breath coming fast, and I felt that dark thing inside me rear its head.

“I’m tired of you avoiding me, not looking at me, seeing through me,” I said, my voice so deep and rough, from being choked up, it sounded like my throat had been dragged over broken glass.

The tension between us crackled, heavy and dangerous. I could feel her breath, shallow and quick, as I leaned in closer. “Let me kiss you,” I whispered, my lips almost brushing hers, needing this, needing her.

“Ashlen,” she whispered, her voice trembling, as if saying Ashlen’s name would bring her back to reality, would remind us both of the boundaries we were crossing. It was a big line to cross since she was now my fiancée. We were going to tell everybody at the end of the night.

“I don’t care,” I said. She wanted me too, and I knew it. We both knew it.

Before she could say anything, my lips crashed into hers. For a split second, she stiffened, caught off guard, but then she gave in, her body molding into mine, her hands gripping me tight, not to push me away, but pulling me closer, as if she’d been waiting for this as long as I had. The kiss was intense, a collision of everything we’d buried for too long, all our desires and frustrations unraveling in a single, heated moment. My hand slipped under her dress, my fingers sliding up the smooth skin of her thigh. Her warmth, her softness—everything about her was driving me wild, making me want more, need more. She tasted so damn good, and I was losing myself in her, completely and willingly.

“Atlas!” Ashlen’s voice cut through the haze.

Kairi broke the kiss, turning her head away, and it was like a punch to the gut. I grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me again, refusing to let this moment slip away.

“Let her catch us. Then we can do the one thing we’ve been avoiding since the day we met. Touch each other. Love each other. Please, baby, stop pushing me away.”

I could see it in her eyes, the war she was fighting inside herself, the same war I’d been fighting for years.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, her voice stronger now, like she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince me. “Let me up.”

“No,” I shook my head violently. I felt like the whole world was teetering on the edge of something that couldn’t be undone.

“Don’t do this,” I rasped. “Please, Kairi. I’ll let it all go. Everything. My family’s plans, Ashlen, this whole fucking life I don’t want—I’ll drop it all if you just stop running from me.”

Her breath hitched. A single tear slipped from the corner of her eye, trailing down her temple. My heart clenched so tightly it hurt.

“Atlas,” she whispered, “Let me go.”

I pressed my forehead against hers, my whole body trembling from the force of what I was feeling. “I know you feel this too. I know you do,” I said, my voice breaking. “Please. Be brave for both of us. I don’t know how to be.”

She sucked in a sharp breath, her fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt like she wanted to give in. But then she pulled away.

Her eyes met mine, red-rimmed, filled with something that looked too much like love, and that made it worse. Because if she loved me, then this wasn’t just cruel—it was fucking unbearable.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “I won’t.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, swallowing against the lump in my throat. “You don’t mean that. We can do this. We can read books together, have kids, grow old. You know you can see it, us, forever. I see it in your eyes.”

She cupped my face for just a second, her thumb brushing over my cheek like she was memorizing me, like this was the last time she’d ever let herself touch me.

“Please,” I begged, my voice shaking now. “Please.”

I had never begged a day in my life. Not for anything. But I’d get on my fucking knees for her if she asked me to.

She maneuvered herself so she could get from under me, then she scrambled to her feet, her movements quick and jerky, like a scared animal. Ashlen’s voice called out again, closer this time, and I watched as Kairi turned and walked away from me. She was running, and I let her go. I had already begged. What the fuck else could I do?

I stayed there, lying in the grass, staring up at the stars, feeling the most profound sadness of my life. My throat was dry, like ashes had been shoved in my mouth.

Ashlen found me a few minutes later. She was drunk, as always, unaware of my not wanting her there. “What are you doing out here?” she asked, her giggle grating against my nerves.

“Just needed some air,” I replied, forcing a smile that felt like it would crack my face in half. “Let’s go back inside.”

She pulled me to my feet, leading me back to the party, back to the life I was supposed to live. But inside, I was hollow. All I could think about was Kairi, slipping away into the night, taking a piece of me with her that I’d never get back.