Page 20 of At His Wife’s Behest

She rose, chuckling, and closed the gap between them. She slid her arms around him. “I adore you. You know that, right?”

Kellan wrapped his arms tight and kissed her forehead. “And I, you. Just promise me we won’t lose this after the divorce.”

“Never,” she whispered.

A buzzer sounded from the gate alarm, and Kellan’s head whipped up.

“Has the press descended already?”

“Doubtful,” Kellan said before striding out to the security panel. One look on the screen and his heart swelled. Connor stared into the camera, speaking, but there was no sound. He switched the speaker button on.

“… meone let me in? I need to speak to Kellan Rhodes.”

Kellan hit the button for the gate and watched onscreen as Connor drove through, struggling for air the entire time.

As soon as he closed it behind the man, he headed for the door and descended the steps.

The hot early summer sun beat down on him, but he didn’t care.

Barely felt it. He needed to see Connor.

Connor sped toward the house and screeched to a stop, jumping out of the car without turning off the motor. He rounded the vehicle, anger written into the lines of his face. “We need to talk.”

“You’re right. We do.”

“I never should’ve taken that job. A week in Italy sounded like a plum gig, but it’s going to cost me everything. That would’ve been worth it if I’d been enough for you.”

“I never said you weren’t enough.”

“You didn’t have to say it, Kellan. You weren’t willing to make room for me in your life. Now, forced to by a blackmailer, you figured I was a consolation prize.” He scoffed. “After a week of avoiding me and having someone else drop off Abby.”

“I needed time to figure things out.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Kellan took a step closer, capturing Connor’s stare. “When I stopped by the other day? I planned to tell you then that I wanted there to be an us. That I was ready to come out—but I chickened out. I was on the ledge ready to jump. And I… I couldn’t get the words to come out of my mouth.”

Connor stared, silent.

“My dad… he tried to beat the gay out of me when I was a kid and it… left marks.”

“I saw them,” Connor murmured, the anger fading from his expression. “I’m sure there’s a lot more inside I didn’t see.”

“I allowed him to define me, just like you said. I allowed him to make me a victim. Even after I was grown and had the power to live as I wanted, I feared his reprisal. Fear him yet craved his acceptance. Something I will never, ever get.”

“You quit working for him. You didn’t fear punishment then.”

“He berated me in front of the entire staff, digging deeper than he’d ever dug before. He utterly humiliated me.” Kellan felt the sting of tears and hated himself for it. Another of his father’s gifts. “I quit because I couldn’t face those people again with them knowing how worthless I was.”

Connor moved a little closer. “You’re not worthless, Kel.”

“Logically, I know that. I’ve reached out to a therapist for help.

I have my first appointment next week and hoped I could wade through all the bullshit and find my way back to you.

” He scoffed. “Then I was shown these photos and my father demanded Emma and I pay the blackmailer.” He took a shaky breath.

“We could pay it. Emma just offered because she wanted me to have the chance to come out on my own terms, not like this. And to protect you.”

“You’re paying it?”

Kellan shook his head. “No. I won’t, and I won’t let her.”

Connor held his stare.

“I won’t pay the blackmail because it’s going to come out eventually and I’m done hiding.

I didn’t ask to see you again because of that.

I asked you because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we left Italy.

I want to be with you. I wanted it when you asked, but I didn’t know how to be the man you knew there once we returned.

” He winced. “I realize I’ve got a lot of baggage and need to fix a lot before I’m worthy of you…

and I don’t expect you to wait for that to happen. ”

Connor moved closer.

“Unless… unless you want us to pay. I know this could cause a lot of hardship for you. If it’s too much, we can make it go away.”

“No. Don’t pay it,” Connor murmured. “I’ll be fine. One way or another.”

“If you lose your job, I’ll help out. Make sure you don’t lose everything.”

“I appreciate the offer but hope it doesn’t come to that.”

Silence hung between them.

“I know I don’t deserve to ask this… but once the chaos is over and I’ve gotten some help… if you’re not with someone else, maybe you and I could give this another try?”

Connor didn’t say a word. Face unreadable, he didn’t move a muscle.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t appropriate to ask considering the situation. Forget I asked.”

Connor closed the gap between them, his expression still indecipherable. When the man reached out and cradled Kellan’s head, he sobbed, closing his eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” Connor whispered.

Kellan gazed up, lost in Connor’s eyes.

“If you need time to heal and deal with your shit, I’ll give it to you… but I don’t want to wait to have you in my life.”

“I’m a mess, Connor.”

“Who isn’t a little fucked up these days?” Connor pressed his lips to Kellan’s, the kiss too gentle. Kellan leaned in, silently begging for more than he merited. “I want to be there for you, Kel. You don’t need to go through this alone.”

Another sob rose in Kellan’s throat. Connor kissed him, absorbing his pain. The gentle embrace quickly turned desperate, both of them hungry for more.

The front door opened, and they broke the kiss. Emma peeked out. “Sorry to interrupt, but Abby and I are going to have a sleepover in the big house tonight. We wanted to get on over there and use the movie theater to watch her favorite movie.”

Kellan took another step away from Connor before Emma strode out hand-in-hand with Abigail.

Abigail’s gaze drifted to Connor. “Hi, Mr. Quaid!”

“Hi, Abby. How are you?”

“Good. Why are you here?”

“I was just telling your dad how great of a job you did on that Math test.”

Kellan marched over and lifted Abigail into his arms, drawing her attention away from Connor. “A sleepover sounds fun. Don’t you think?”

“Do you like kissing boys, Daddy?”

Kellan froze. He glanced at Emma and back to their daughter. “Who said anything about me kissing boys?”

“I saw you through the window.”

Dumbstruck, Kellan didn’t know what to say.

“I saw Mama kissing a girl one day, too.”

Kellan’s gaze whipped to Emma’s wide-eyed one.

“I’ve never seen you kiss Mama like that,” Emma whispered. “Don’t you love her?”

“I love your Mama very, very much, but it’s also very complicated.

It’s a long story, Sweet Pea. One that’s hard to understand when you’re only six years old,” Kellan said.

“What I can tell you is that your mother and I do love one another. We’re the very best of friends and always will be.

But we don’t love each other like married people should because you’re right.

I like kissing boys, and I was scared of people finding that out. ”

“And I like kissing girls,” Emma murmured to the side of them. She rubbed her palm on Abigail’s cheek. “Not everyone is kind to people like us, so sometimes we hide to protect ourselves.”

“Like Pawpaw and Grandpa. They don’t like gay people.”

“Yep, like Pawpaw and Grandpa,” Emma murmured. “How does that make you feel?”

Abigail shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You know how much we love you , right?” Kellan asked.

Abigail nodded.

“Nothing’s ever going to change that. You are the most special thing in the entire world,” Kellan said. He added a tickle, and she giggled.

“I snuck downstairs one night and heard you and Mama talking. She said something about a divorce.”

“That was just talk,” Emma said. “Just talk.”

“But if Daddy wants to kiss Mr. Q, and you want to kiss that lady, maybe you should get a divorce so you can love other people the married way. You can still be best friends and love me.”

“How’d you get to be so smart?” Emma asked, brushing some hair back from Abigail’s face.

“I dunno,” Abigail said. She focused on Emma. “Can we go watch the movie now?”

“Sure thing,” Emma said.

Kellan gave her a kiss on the cheek and lowered her to the ground. “Have fun.”

Abigail took Emma’s hand and headed in the direction of the big house. A few steps away, she looked over her shoulder at Connor. “I knew that was my daddy in that picture.”

Kellan’s gaze flicked to Connor’s.

“Yeah, you were right, Abby,” Connor said, grinning.

Abigail smirked and looked up at Emma as they walked away. “Are we gonna live in Pawpaw’s house now?”

Emma glanced over her shoulder at Kellan and then down to Abigail. “Is that what you want to do?”

“Davy Burrows has two houses. He lives some days with his mama and some days with his daddy. He also gets two Christmases. I like that idea.”

Emma cast one more look Kellan’s way before they moved out of earshot.

Connor sidled up beside him. “Your daughter is wise beyond her years.”

“I don’t know where she gets it,” Kellan admitted.

“I do,” Connor murmured, capturing his gaze. “When a bright child has two loving, caring parents who only want the best for them, it allows them to blossom. She’s a great kid, and you both should be proud.”

Kellan turned toward Connor. “I did everything in my power to give her a better life than I got.”

“You succeeded.”

“Not done yet, though.” Kellan searched Connor’s face. “What’s this about her seeing a picture?”

Connor winced. “You handed me that picture in the hallway, and I left angry, still clutching it in my fist. She caught me looking at it later during a test.”

“Why were you looking at it later?” Kellan asked, grinning.

“Because I missed holding you like that,” Connor replied before dragging Kellan closer. “And I missed kissing you like that.” He lowered his head, capturing Kellan’s lips.

Kellan melted into Connor’s kiss, moving as close as two people could. He’d feared he’d lost the chance to be in Connor’s arms ever again. Trembling, he pulled back.

“What’s wrong?” Connor asked.

“Nothing,” Kellan replied. “I’m just… happy you’re here.” He smiled up at Connor. “Maybe… we can take this inside?”

“Well, your soon-to-be-ex-wife did so graciously clear it out for us. Wouldn’t want it to go to waste, now, do we?”

“Nope,” Kellan said, leading Connor toward the door. He stopped on the first step and chuckled. “You might want to turn off your car first.”

“Fuck,” Connor whispered under his breath. He ran over, reached inside, and turned it off, exiting with keys in hand. He returned, a sly smile on his lips.

“What’s that look for?”

“I’m about to get lucky. Why wouldn’t I be smiling?”

“Oh? You’re so sure of that, hmm?”

“I’m taking you inside that house, and I’m going to get you completely naked,” Connor stated, encircling Kellan’s waist with one arm and dragging him close. “And then I’m kissing you from head to toe. Might spend a little extra time about midway through. We shall see.”

“Oh, midway better get plenty of attention.”

“See, I told you I was getting lucky,” Connor murmured, leaning in for a kiss. He paused a fraction of an inch away. “You just confirmed it.”

Kellan chuckled against Connor’s lips, quickly lost in the feel of his man.