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Chapter Sixteen

AYO

“My father was a sorcerer.” Ethan’s voice is pure gravel, low and hoarse.

I try not to gape at him. I was not expecting that. At all.

“He and my mother weren’t fated, so they chose not to bond, but they did marry. They seemed happy for most of my childhood. Since shifter birth rates are lower than human, it seemed normal for me to be an only child. Looking back, I wonder if maybe they weren’t as happy as I thought.”

My poor wolf. My heart aches for him and I clearly don’t even know everything yet.

“When I was fourteen, they divorced.” He sucks in a shaky breath. “It came out of nowhere for me. My father left a note for my mother one day before walking out of pack lands. I didn’t take it well. I thought I’d never see him again.”

“But you did?” I have a sinking feeling this is connected to what he told me a while back about a rival pack attacking his own.

Ethan turns and paces away from me, then faces me from across the room, his nostrils flaring.

“I saw him again when he brought a rival pack straight through our fucking wards. Wards he’d set.

Turned out he’d been having an affair with the rival alpha.

My mother had found out and demanded a divorce, so my father ran straight to his boyfriend. ”

Oh, shit. “Was that what started…” I can’t even finish the question.

He clenches his fists. “My father got his boyfriend and his new pack to challenge us. His boyfriend killed my mother. She was insanely powerful, but her heart was broken. I can’t help thinking maybe that’s why she lost the fight. The betrayal was too much.”

I hurry over and hold him as tight as I possibly can, my heart breaking for him. “I’m amazed you trust me at all.”

He buries his face in my neck and this time it starts to feel damp. He squeezes me almost to the point of pain, but since I can still breathe I don’t say anything.

“I didn’t, not at first. You won me over.”

That has me pressing a tender kiss to his hair. Then I start to work through what he said and I stiffen in horror.

“Wait, you said… Fuck, you lost both parents and your entire pack when you were fourteen? Jeez, Ethan, that’s… I can’t even imagine. What did you do?”

It takes him a minute to answer as my neck gets wetter, but I don’t rush him. Losing my parents when I was ten was awful, but I still had family, still had my coven and my vampire aunts and uncles, as well as Zaiden and his family.

“I became homeless,” he finally says, pulling back a little and swiping at his eyes.

“I grew up in rural East Anglia so I travelled to London. It’s easier to be homeless in a city, and I was good at pickpocketing.

I always abandoned the cards, just took whatever cash they had so I could eat.

Not long after I turned fifteen I stole a wallet from some guy who chased me down.

“Turned out he was a cheetah shifter, which was how he caught me. He bought me lunch. Told me he was in the army and that they’d love a guy like me.

I’d have to hide my wolf side, but I was doing that anyway.

He convinced me enlisting was better than being homeless and stealing from people.

So I let him take me to the nearest army recruitment office, lied about my age, and the rest is history. ”

My heart breaks for the teenager he was, so desperate to eat that he stole from people.

I know how much Ethan values protecting others; it’s literally his purpose in life.

How much of it is him paying it forward after this stranger changed his life?

How much of it is him making amends for stealing?

Or making up for feeling like he couldn’t save his mum?

“I am so fucking proud of you.” My voice is as unsteady as his, and I feel a little ridiculous saying it, what with me only being twenty and having had a much easier life, but I need him to know. I really am proud of the man he turned into after having that sort of start in life.

“Thank you,” he murmurs.

“Is that why you refuse to have a pack? Because of your dad’s betrayal?” I ask softly.

He nods.

“I get that. I’d probably feel the same. Who wouldn’t?”

He huffs. “But?”

“None of the team would ever do that to you. I suspect they’ve followed you into hellish situations a few times, right?”

He stares at a point over my shoulder. “Yeah.”

“And have any of them ever baulked? Not just whined or whatever, but actually refused?”

His gaze snaps to mine. “You don’t refuse orders from a commanding officer.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course not. But what about since then? Did you all leave the SAS at the same time?”

When Raj rushed into the kitchen to tell me about the email, Cal made some comment about Kit’s retirement proving they were a pack already, regardless of whatever label Ethan still chose to use. This is my best chance of showing him what everyone acknowledges except him.

He’s quiet for a long time. “When Kit was forced into retirement… we all decided to go with them. We even got matching tattoos.”

Ah, so they do all have the same tattoo. I trace the lines of the wings on Ethan’s shoulder. “Why?”

Ethan frowns like it’s a daft question. “Where one of us goes, we all go.”

Clearly, I need to be the one to state the blindingly obvious here. “Because you’re a pack.”

Ethan stares at me for a long, tense moment before wrapping me up in another tight hug, his body quaking.

I hold him as tight as I can, hoping he can take some comfort from all the love I feel for him, from the knowledge that he has my full support, no matter what.

Wait. I love him.

When did that happen?

Huh. Something to figure out later, maybe. I definitely do though, regardless of how or when I fell for him. There’s literally no doubt in my mind.

“I love you,” I blurt, hoping maybe the words will help him as much as the snuggles. Not that I want to distract him from processing the pack thing, but maybe knowing he has me will make the rest of it easier to accept? And he clearly needs time to work through all his emotions.

He jerks his head back, wet blue eyes searching mine almost desperately. “You do?”

“Of course.” I smile.

He kisses me, hard and intense, then pulls back far too soon. “I love you, too.”

My smile threatens to split my face in two, my grin is so big. “Yeah? That’s awesome.”

He chuckles and kisses me again, this time licking the seam of my mouth. I open eagerly, enjoying the sensation of his tongue stroking mine, familiar and sexy. Ethan has this way of kissing me that makes me feel both treasured and dominated at the same time.

I love it. I love him.

I kiss him harder as my feelings only seem to grow in intensity. My cock grows rapidly too—something I’ve gotten used to around my gorgeous boyfriend whenever we’re alone. One kiss and I’m ready to go. It really doesn’t take much.

Thank goodness I included a visual element to the privacy ward.

It’s one thing for Ethan to be naked in front of the enormous windows, but quite another for everyone to see his beautiful cock rising to greet me.

Hopefully no one would anyway, what with the summer storm raging outside, but we’re only on the fourth floor.

Just as my neck starts to ache, Ethan picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the nearest window and presses me against it, somehow holding me up one-handed as the other fiddles with my shirt buttons.

“Ayo,” he mumbles against my mouth, still kissing me.

“Mmm?”

He pulls back just enough to catch my gaze. “How much do you like this shirt?”

I blink at him. “It’s nothing special, but I can’t really afford?—”

Ethan puts me down and literally rips my shirt off, leaving me in a tie, torn collar, my focus, and my trousers. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

He picks me up again and proceeds to kiss his way across my chest, occasionally licking and nipping my heated skin.

“Did you seriously just…?” I can’t help it. I start to giggle.

Ethan scowls at me. “That was supposed to be sexy.”

“It was!” I giggle harder, not really helping my case. “I just can’t believe this is my life.”

Ethan puts me down and turns me to face the window.

“What—” I quickly shut up when he unbuttons and unzips my trousers.

I know no one can see us, but it’s still erotic as hell when he lowers my trousers and briefs as if he’s putting me on display.

He takes the time to kneel and remove my shoes and clothes, leaving me naked in just the collar and tie, which covers my focus.

It should be ridiculous, but somehow it’s sexy?

Any remaining giggles evaporate when he parts my cheeks and swipes his tongue up my crack. “Oh, fuck . Do that again.”

Ethan obliges. I brace my hands against the window, no longer seeing the storm or the people hurrying through it.

I’ve never been rimmed before, and holy fuck yes am I a fan.

He swirls his tongue around my pucker, teasing the sensitive nerves until the muscle softens enough that he can spear his tongue inside.

I yell his name, my cock hard and leaking, so sensitive one touch would likely set me off. I don’t want that yet—I want to make Ethan feel better. This shouldn’t be about me.

“Get up here,” I pant.

Ethan gets a few more thrusts of his tongue in before spearing me with a lubed finger. He must have found the sachet I had in my trouser pocket.

Just in case of sex emergencies.

“Ethan,” I gasp when he works quickly up to two fingers. “Let me do something for you. Want me to blow you?”

“This is for me,” he says as he nips one cheek.

That wasn’t a no to the blowjob, but since I’m impaled on his fingers it’s a genuine struggle to even consider moving away, especially when he crooks them and immediately finds my happy button.

“Shit! Get up here. Ethan, please. I need you. Please.” I’m babbling and I don’t even care.

Finally, Ethan rises to his feet. He presses up against me, his chest against my sweaty skin, his lubed cock nudging my lower back.