Page 19 of Approved (The Dapper Duck #1)

Chapter nineteen

TYLER

I couldn’t see the front door through my tears.

I hadn’t stopped staring at it because it was where West had walked out about twenty minutes earlier.

Everything inside of me was numb because he had left me.

When we came inside earlier, it felt like we would be going forward, but he needed to understand because everything about my past would shape my future.

He read some of my journal, and he left.

Unable to think about doing much other than keeping myself from falling apart, I closed my eyes and pet Larry, the soothing sound of his purr kept me grounded, while Earl curled around my neck.

My heart jumped when I heard the front door open, and West walked back inside.

Our eyes locked, and he gave a slight smile.

He turned off the porch light and the light in the entry, then locked the front door before kneeling in front of me.

“Hey. I’m sorry I walked out. I needed a few minutes to feel my feelings, and you didn’t need to see me like that.” He was holding his hand carefully.

There was a dark bruise along the side that wasn’t there earlier, it ran up his pinkie, and across his palm.

I wasn’t positive, but I guessed he had hit something while he was outside.

Gingerly, he took my hands in his.

His hands were swollen, but he didn’t acknowledge it.

He kissed my wrists, then my knuckles.

“It’s okay. I thought.. I should have known. You came back.” Relief coursed through me.

He had told me he loved me, and here he was, even after reading some of those journals.

Now he even knew some of the horror I had gone through, and he was here.

The real horrors I hadn’t shared with anybody ever.

“I love you. Unless you tell me to explicitly, I won’t leave. Honestly, I am exhausted. We still have many things to work through, but can we try to get some sleep? I already told Spark I wouldn’t be in for a few days. I’ll go to the shop with you or whatever you need.”

Fuck.

I think he does love me.

All I could do was nod, and we headed to my room hand in hand.

Both of us moved slowly, clearly exhausted as we climbed between the sheets, he grabbed my waist and pulled me tight against him.

He kissed the side of my head, his arm wrapped around my chest, “I love you, Tyler,” he whispered.

“Even after what you read?”

“Yes.”

Before West was out of bed, I called Jamie.

“My past has caught up to me, and now I need to work through it with my amazing boyfriend.”

“Uh oh. Are you okay?” She was family to me, and her question brought on tears.

“Oh, sweetie, don’t. He’s a good one, it will all work out.”

I was lost for words because I knew she was right.

“Yeah. I think it will be fine. He told me he loved me.”

The squeal she made was shockingly loud.

“Good God, woman, you will wake him up with that noise.”

“Sorry. I’ll call Ryker and make him come help for the day.” He owes me for fixing his van.

The fact that she was amazing with engines and flowers was not lost on me.

“Thank you so much. I’ll try to call tonight and let you know how things go.”

When I turned around, I saw West walking toward me, no shirt or shoes, pajama pants low on his hips.

He was ridiculously handsome, with an incredible body, and it was my pleasure to take him a mug of coffee.

He wrapped me up in a hug, where I snuggled into his chest.

Immediately, I felt safe and loved.

There was no awkwardness from last night.

We took our coffee to the living room and sat on the couch.

He tucked into a corner, and I settled on the middle cushion, then pulled my knee under me and twisted toward him.

“Hi.”

He laughed, then leaned in and kissed me gently.

“Good Morning, beautiful.”

Unable to stop myself, I sighed.

I knew West hadn’t slept any better than I had.

He was restless as he lay with me in his arms.

I had used the time to think, and it was time to be brave.

Earl flew over and looked at us like he was starved.

West held up his cup of coffee.

“This is all I have, buddy.” Earl stuck his nose in the cup, and I could hear him splashing in the liquid.

A dragon on caffeine was something to be seen, but once he blew off the energy, he would crash for hours.

“Alright enough.” West pulled the mug away.

I had planned everything I would say out in my head, and it was time to start talking.

“I left home as soon as I got away from that place, and lived with my aunt until I graduated from high school.” He sat quietly and gave me all the room I needed to get through what I had to say.

After I talked for a while, he pulled me close to him, and I snuggled against him as I continued to share more details about the horrors I had gone through and answered questions he had.

After a few hours, he went and refilled our coffee cups, opened a can of food for Larry, and gave some meat to Earl.

We resumed our conversation and talked for hours.

He would hold me when I cried.

“I will keep you safe.” He would whisper against my head, and then we would sit there, not speaking for long periods.

The sun had set by the time I felt finished with my story.

“I had wondered what happened to you in our junior year; you had vanished. I’m sorry, Tyler, that you went through that hell.” It was hard for me to swallow; nobody had cared about me so much, but worse yet, nobody had acknowledged what I went through.

Now he had done it twice.

He wanted me to be happy and healthy mentally, and it was overwhelming in a good way.

He held on to me for a long time, and I wondered if he had fallen asleep.

Before I got the nerve to ask him, he started to talk again.

“I’ve told you how I feel. What about you? What do you want?”

This was the moment where I had to decide to continue to run because I couldn’t trust or go all in and believe in this man.

West did nothing but open himself up, had been completely transparent, trusted in me, and believed in us.

“You,” I said it barely above a whisper because somewhere inside of me was that voice that said he would laugh, and send me away.

“Yeah?” Then leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine.

“What does that look like, Tyler?”

I was tempted to make a joke and bring up sex, but he deserved better than that.

Earl moved over to his shoulder, then looked at me like he was curious about the answer, too.

“Me, you, a couple of cats, and a dragon. West, I want to trust someone, know they will be there, and be transparent. I want to stop worrying about every person betraying me.”

Grabbing my arm, he pulled me onto his lap.

He took a little time to make sure we were comfortable.

“I like that idea, but I wasn’t kidding. I think you need to start some serious treatment for PTSD. But I changed my mind about something.” Fuck.

He changed his mind, which meant he was leaving now, so I started to scramble off his lap, but this time he was prepared.

“Tyler, STOP.”

His voice was loud, but he hadn’t yelled, and I realized he had anticipated my response.

His arms were wrapped around me.

I struggled, which did me no good, so I finally stopped and looked at him.

I didn’t want to hear what he had to say because it would crush me.

“Are you done?” He pulled back and looked at me.

“Do I have a choice?”

“I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, Tyler,” he said quietly.

“I would really like for you to hear what I have to say, though.”

Pursing my lips, I pulled back and looked at him.

“Okay.”

“I don’t know why you have to torture me,” I muttered under my breath.

He sighed and shook his head.

“You aren’t going to make this an easy relationship, I can tell already. What I would like is for not only you but both of us to go to counseling as a couple. I think I need to learn how to work with you. We should be in this together.”

“Oh.” Well, I felt stupid.

He really is in this.

“Sorry.” I knew he was right because I had assumed the worst twice because of fear, and I had been wrong both times.

I didn’t know how to trust anybody, and I certainly didn’t know how to be in a relationship.

He gave me a shit-eating-grin, like he knew how I would act, then correctly managed me, and now felt vindicated by it.

My face tried to scowl at him, but my heart danced in my chest, and threw confetti because this amazing man loved me and wanted the best for me.

Being a supposedly adult man, I should not feel like this, but I certainly did, and wanted to channel that feeling.

West then had the audacity to kiss me on my nose.

“Well, what do you think?” His patience with me was more than I deserved at this point.

“Yes.” Unable to stop myself, I started to cry.

I covered my face and giggled through the tears.

This was almost too much.

He started to laugh with me, and for the longest time, we sat together and kissed gently between giggles.

This would turn out okay, and as soon as that thought went through my mind, a weight I didn’t know I had on my shoulders lifted.

I no longer felt alone.

It was past dinner, we had been talking and crying all day, my stomach growled, and West answered with a growl of his own.

“Let’s order something to eat. I am starving.” He grabbed his phone, and we decided what sounded good.

Earl behaved all day, so we got enough to share with him.

After dinner, the energy between us was good, but it had changed to something stronger.

While we ate our burgers and fries, I thought about the last thing I needed to talk to him about.

I had apparently zoned out because when I turned back, Earl had fries hanging out of his mouth, and ketchup was covering his snout and chest.

“Why do you always have to make it look like you’ve killed someone?” I wiped ketchup off Earl's face and chest—he was worse than a toddler sometimes—I looked up to see West, who looked at me with a soft smile.

Before I could say anything, West leaned back on the couch, “I think you are amazing, Tyler. Sexy as hell, kind and warm. You are the full package. Thank you for accepting my love.”

His words hit me right in the chest, pinpoints of happiness bounced around, while desire flooded my groin, and excitement lit me on fire. Even though he had said it, it wasn’t easy to believe this man loved me and wanted to have a relationship.

After locking up, I took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom. When he started to get undressed, I stopped him. “No. Let me.” He moved his hands to my hips, then up to my shoulders, then down my ribcage, as he allowed me to take each piece of clothing off him until he stood there naked in front of me. He wasn’t fully hard, but his cock was interested in what was happening. “Will you sit for me, please?” I asked. How nervous I was could be heard in my voice.

He moved to the edge of the bed, sitting quietly, but said nothing. Then I moved to the other side of the room, where I stripped for him. I made sure to give him amazing views of all of me. It was time that I took his words at face value; he thought I was sexy, which meant a show from me would be enjoyed. When I looked at him his cock was solid against his stomach which confirmed I was right.

Once I was undressed, I went to him and straddled his thighs. The palms of his hands rested on my hips, which made it easy to kiss him. I sucked on his tongue, then deepened the kiss until I pulled back both of us panting. Our shafts rubbed together, and the one thing on my mind was that I needed to make love to him.

“There is one more thing, West.” I noticed his reaction wasn’t like mine would have been. He didn’t assume it was something bad. West simply raised his eyebrow, curious about what I was about to say. “I’m in love with you.”

He looked momentarily surprised, then he gave me an amazing grin. “Yeah?” I chuckled. “Tell me again.”

I laughed at his response. “I love you,” I repeated as requested.

With no effort at all, he moved us, now I was on my back with him above me, kissing again. “I love you, Tyler. Now I want to make love, and show you how much.” He was thinking the same thing I was, which made everything much better.

“Yes, please.” It felt perfect to be loved like this, and his smile confirmed that he was feeling it too. Everything wasn’t resolved, but it was better, and we needed this reset between us. After my thoughts had taken me down the wrong path twice, getting his reassurance through our bodies was something I craved.

The heat of his fingers as they ran up my side made me shudder, a steady flow of precum pooled on his stomach, our fluids mixed as our cocks slid between us. We kissed and teased for a long time, our shafts moved easily against each other, I suck in a breath because the feeling was so intense.

“Ngh.” There was no way I could form anything that seemed like a word. His body felt so good, hard, warm, and smooth. It amazed me how we fit together in a near-perfect way.

He kissed up my neck, then sucked the tender skin which made me wonder if he left a mark. In many ways, I hoped he had, because being claimed by him felt right. His mouth moved over my jaw, then up near my ear, where he scraped his teeth along the helix. “Will you fuck me Tyler?”

Hearing his request nearly made me come right there. “You want that?”

“I would love to have you in me. If that’s not something you are interested in.” I put my hand over his mouth, shocked by the request but also thrilled.

“Yes! If you want me in you tonight, I am very willing to give that to you.” His eyes were filled with lust, and a low rumble came from his chest. I got the lube from the bedside table and the full realization of what I was about to do caused my cock to be impossibly hard and my body buzzed like my skin was electrified. I needed to grip the base of my shaft and tug on my balls to refocus. Otherwise, this would have ended before I ever got close.

There was no particular reason, but I assumed West would only top. The fact that he had asked me was a surprise, and something I couldn’t wait to share with him. He moved on his back, where I leaned over him and rubbed our cocks together as I kissed him. It felt so good, a jolt going through me every time our glans met.

“You are so gorgeous, West. I can’t wait to be in you.” I kissed my way down his chest, sucked a nipple between my lips, then bit it. West arched into me, and his body responded to me so beautifully. Then I repeated the teasing on the other side, as I moved down the center of his body. My tongue created a wet path as I enjoyed the tight muscles under the skin on his abdomen, and kissed my way toward his throbbing cock. God, everything about him was amazing, and spending time worshiping him was something I planned to enjoy today, tomorrow, and hopefully for the rest of my life.