Page 9 of Any Which Way

I had never quite grasped Einstein’s theory of relativity when I was first presented the idea back in high school.

Though as the weeks passed us by, Kai’s solo performance at Glittering Vices slowly creeping up on us, I began to understand what good old Albert had been talking about all those years ago.

The hours seemed to fly with the brevity of winter’s chill in a lazy, tourist-driven, summer-filled town.

Each day, Brynn, Kai, and I went our separate ways. We worked hard during the daylight hours before falling into bed each evening, often all together in a shared bed with increasing frequency.

With two submissives, I was a stronger Dominate than I had been a few weeks prior. But even more importantly, I was a better lover to both my partners. And that was my end goal each and every day.

Of course, there were still times when I worried I wasn’t enough.

Days when I felt I couldn’t juggle my own needs, let alone the needs of my lovers.

But I was open and honest with Brynn and Kai in the moments that happened, and as with all aspects of our relationship, we flourished under the open communication our relationship had initially been built upon.

Besides, it had been the same communication we needed to rely on when Brynn and I first opened our relationship to others. It had been strong communication that opened us up to the trial dynamic we had immersed ourselves in over the last few weeks with the man we love.

And that communication continued through the tough conversations I had with my partners recently about wanting to express myself differently in the bedroom.

While extremely difficult at the time, it had left me feeling more in touch with myself than I had in years, the simple adjustment to gender neutral pronouns while being intimate helping to settle me in a way I hadn’t realized I had been searching for.

Most recently though, communication is exactly how we find ourselves on the last Saturday of June, surrounded by thousands of friends and strangers, Ellison Harbor Pride in full swing.

Brynn saddles up next to me, her face covered in enough glitter to make a disco ball jealous.

Her hair is up in two space buns, small tendrils of escaped hair sticking out all over the place.

She wears a tiny rainbow crop top that reads I’m with them and an arrow pointing to the left and right.

Cut offs hug her hips, and sneakers way too white to be in a grassy field have her standing a few inches shorter than me.

A sleeve of colorful temporary tattoos cover her right arm, the pansexual flag, BDSM symbol, and polyamory flag among them.

She beams at me, her smile more radiant than the glitter reflecting in the late-afternoon sunlight.

I can’t even be mad it’ll be over the house for the next six years, at the least.

“I told you it would be a great day!” Brynn nearly shouts, the sound of the parade making its way down Main Street approaching the strip of grass where vendors have set up their various wares for the Pride Marketplace making it necessary to speak louder than normal.

Handing over a small bag of tea to the customer who just finished paying, I turn my full attention to Brynn, pulling her into my arms. “And you were right, as you always are.”

Her self-satisfied little smirk has me squeezing her sides, sending her into a fit of giggles.

Brynn wheezes as she laughs, a sound that echoes around us despite the ever-increasing volume as the parade approaches our booth.

“Stop! Ohmygosh… ” The words trail together as she continues to gasp for air.

I acquiesce, remembering that Brynn has been downing huge, souvenir-cup-sized sugary lemonades all day.

And that, accidental or not, any instances of watersports would likely end with Steeped in Pride being asked not to return as a vendor next year.

It’s one of the few events I do outside of the physical store each year.

But giving back to the queer community has always been important to me, and I'd like to stay in good graces with the organizing committee.

Growing serious, I turn to my wife, hoping my sincerity shines though.

“Truly, Brynn, thank you. When Polly broke her ankle last week, I thought for sure I’d have to back out of having a booth at Pride this year.

But you stepping up to help run the booth and then pulling double while I ran back to the shop when the registers went down…

I know all the stress and anxiety that came along with it couldn’t have been easy for you.

Still, I don’t know what I would have done without you.

Today or any other day for that matter.”

“Lucky for you, I don’t ever plan on making you find out.”

Surprising me before I can respond, a shrill whistle pierces over the sound of the bass thumping down the parade route, the sound belonging to only one person we know.

Together, Brynn and I turn toward the float that’s nearing our booth.

And when I manage to tear my eyes from the sight long enough to look at my wife, her eyes are just as wide-eyed as my own.

A basic box truck has been completely transformed.

Wrapped in the colors of the rainbow, bold text reading Ellison Harbor Chamber of Commerce is proudly stamped on the side.

Three flatbed trailers are pulled behind it, each one more elaborately decorated in a cacophony of color than the first. Momentarily, I wonder if the entire thing is OSHA compliant, but I’m knocked from the thought when a flying prophylactic nearly smacks me in the face.

Truly, there is no place like Pride.

I recognize our town mayor standing next to a fierce drag queen in heels I’d never dare attempt to walk in on the first of the three trailers.

Several other business owners and employees from boutiques and restaurants on the same street as Steeped in Pride wave flags representing all facets of the queer community on the second.

Music pours from the floats, a techno, upbeat mix of classic queer anthems that have me tapping along to the beat.

And on the last of the floats, surrounded by more members of the local business community, is Kai, representing not only Steeped in Pride but Soren Enterprise, his app development company.

My mouth goes dry, not expecting to see him in anything other than the dark wash jeans and black harness he often wears at the dungeon.

The jeans are the same, slung low on his trim hips.

And though I can’t see his feet from my viewpoint, I’d almost guarantee he’s barefoot, dirty parade float floor be damned.

But that’s where the similarities to the man I know stop.

A tight, fishnet top stretches across his broad chest and down his arms. Tiny gemstones catch the sun, sending a rainbow of shimmers out across the sea of spectators as the parade float is towed along its route.

Kai’s face shows the hint of his beard, growing back after being clean shaven just this morning.

A full day of sun has tinged his nose pink, and when my eyes reach his face and I take in the dark kohl lining his already endless eyes, I gasp at the same time Brynn squeals.

“That’s our man!” Brynn’s voice somehow reaches Kai.

He winks before blowing us a kiss as the parade continues on its way, tossing out more condoms as he goes. I only hope he doesn’t cause someone to lose an eye before the day is through.

Brynn and I watch as the rest of the parade passes, everything from additional condoms and candy to branded lube being thrown from floats and handed out from people walking along with companies and organizations looking to show love to our community.

We score countless coupons to local and national businesses, a random demo CD from an up-and-coming musician, tickets to an improv show, and even a chance to win free pizza delivery for an entire year, which would serve us well on nights when we’ve indulged in a few too many adult brownies and the munchies kick in.

As a natural introvert, moments like these often leave me feeling exhausted. But when it comes to Pride, the energy alone is almost enough to keep me going for the next twelve months—with the coupons and freebies a welcomed additional benefit.

What can I say? I love a good discount just as much as I love being around the overwhelmingly positive environment the day brings.

Waving to friends in the parade, meeting new customers who are visiting from out of town, showing people what a thriving queer community looks like.

I don’t take it lightly that not too long ago, many people in the queer community didn’t live to see the age I am now.

Knowing I’m defying the odds simply because I choose to live authentically along with everyone else celebrating Pride today?

It’s… devastatingly beautiful.

Slowly, the day dwindles, the last people leaving as the sun dips below the horizon. Brynn and I break down the Steeped in Pride booth, taking extra care with the retractable banners that never seem to fold into place as well as they did the first time.

“Maybe next year, I’ll walk in the parade, too. Kai looked like he was having a blast today.”

Brynn laughs, a cheeky little smile appearing that only comes out right before she says something extra sassy.

“I’m surprised you’ve never volunteered before, Ms. Spring-Break-Your-Sophomore-Year-Of-College.

Seems like it would be right up your alley as long as we can find the right top for the occasion! ”

I groan at the memory, knowing I never should have mentioned the one time I entered a wet t-shirt contest… and won, thank you very much.

But in my defense, it had been on our third date, I had desperately been trying to impress Brynn, who had been nothing more than a customer who sometimes came into the cafe where I worked at the time, and I hadn’t known then that my now wife had a mind like a goddamn steel vault.

“Keep that up and I’ll spank your ass red when we get home,” I tell her in response.

She only laughs more. “Oh, like that’s such a threat.”

Tossing the last of the vendor items from our booth into the backseat of my SUV, I press Brynn against the closed passenger side door, stopping her before she can slide into her seat.

I kiss her hard and fast, the entire thing taking less than thirty seconds before I’m leaning down, speaking into her ear.

“I’ve been thinking about an extra special way to torture you ever since I set eyes on Kai earlier today.

Pretty soon, you’ll see just how threatening your Mistress can be. ”

And as I walk back to the driver side of my vehicle, I’m confident the only sound out of Brynn is a squeak that sneaks out at the same time as the first of many multi-colored fireworks erupts across the darkness, the end of another year’s Pride being written across the sky.