Page 1 of Any Which Way

I ’ve always believed my final seconds on Earth would be preceded by a slow-motion montage of momentous moments from my life.

Everything from the half-accurate medical shows on television to my sister, who had her own brush with death, claimed I’d see a freeze-frame of the exact moment I first laid eyes on my wife.

That I’d see possible future children and long-lost pets.

Important occasions for family and friends and those I’ve loved throughout the years.

Fucking liars. Every single one of them.

Beneath my feet, the step stool wobbles. I know I shouldn’t be standing on the top step, both my wife, Eleri, and our partner, Kai, yelling at me more than once for putting myself in danger.

Before I can regain my balance, I’m falling the few feet to the carpeted floor, a storage tote tumbling from the shelf along with me as my fingers reach out, hoping to find anything to stop the inevitable.

The lid falls off, no match for gravity or my clumsiness. The contents scatter around me. Pictures float on the air like confetti. A yearbook nearly misses my eye, hitting me on the side of the skull. Hats and scarves, a few paperbacks, and various odds and ends thunk and thud.

“Brynn!”

I hear my name being called from two directions in the house, and if it weren’t for the fact that I knew both Eleri and Kai were home, I’d certainly think I had a head injury.

Eleri’s feet thud up the stairs, and I know she’s taking them two at a time with her long, dancer-like legs I’ve always envied.

She’s in the guest room in seconds, taking in the scene as Kai comes to a stop behind her no more than half a minute later.

He freezes as he takes in the remnants of my disaster, at the mess of his belongings that lie scattered haphazardly across the room, me included.

From somewhere above me, one lone last picture floats from the heavens, the crowning cherry on top of the proverbial sundae, landing image-side down on top of my face.

And when I refocus my eyes, seeing the image before me, I do what any logical woman would do after finding her boyfriend of three years—her Dominant of three years — photographed in more scandalous and risqué lingerie than she’d ever dare wear herself.

I scream before passing out, certain I’m Heaven-bound.

I’ve no idea how much time has passed when I blink my eyes open, both Eleri and Kai slowly coming into focus. We’re in the bed I share with Eleri, and I’m sure it’s Kai that carried me to the one space in the house where we all comfortably fit.

The gentle palm of my wife’s hand sweeps across my forehead.

I turn my full attention to her and the worry etched across her brow.

Her long, straight hair hangs in a sheet around her face.

I only see the fear that mixes with the worry once she pushes it behind her shoulder, giving me an unobstructed view of her strong features that somehow radiate warmth despite their severe lines.

“I already know you’re punishing yourself in your head over that little stunt with the step stool more than I ever could.

But if Kai feels differently, we’ll address that together when I come home tonight.

I’m going to get you some Advil and water.

You’ve got a pretty good bump forming already. ”

Brushing my fingers against the spot where the yearbook smacked into my skull, I wince at the pain. “Jesus, Kai, how many kids were in your graduating class? That book had to weigh at least ten pounds.”

Eleri’s low chuckle stays in the room even after she’s left, the sound both enchanting and genuine. Whether she’s actually laughing at my joke or at my poor attempt at using humor to deescalate a sensitive situation remains to be seen.

Kai moves on the mattress next to me, his words a command that I wouldn’t be able to disobey if I tried. “Look at me, Brynn.”

I do, and the eyes that look back at me nearly break my heart.

“The picture you saw… The pictures in that storage tote… That’s not the man I am anymore. I was young, and it was before I met you. Just a phase, really.”

Three years with Kai, and I know with near certainty it’s the first lie he’s ever told me.

Situating myself against an extra pillow as Eleri reenters the room, I take the offered glass of water and pain relievers, dutifully swallowing the pills to ward off the oncoming headache that has already begun to form.

They’re both always urging me to be myself.

To seek out the most authentic version of who I am, even if it sometimes comes at the expense of time, resources, and in many cases, money.

Or, like today, my safety and their sanity.

Most people are lucky to find one person to share that bond with. Somehow, I found two.

“I have to get to the shop,” my wife tells me.

She sweeps a few stray curls away from my eyes that must have escaped my elastic during my tumble.

A deep furrow of concern still mars her beautiful face.

“You going to be okay if I step out for a few hours? I can always call Polly and see if she can stay late.”

Finishing the glass at my wife’s urging, I place it on the nightstand. “No, I’m okay. Promise, it’s just a little bump. And Kai’s here all day in case I end up needing anything.”

My smile is weak, despite my truth. I am okay, but if I could have my wife with me all the time, I absolutely would.

Eleri gives me a sweet kiss before repeating the gesture with Kai.

And that small kiss is all it takes to turn my smile into something genuine.

Simply put, I love love.

Of course, being in love is amazing. And seeing the two people that I care for most share that bond makes me want to burst with joy at times.

But it’s so much deeper than that. Watching people love one another, truly care for one another…

It’s the most beautiful thing in the world, and I want to experience it in as many forms as possible while I’m alive.

I wait for Eleri to leave, giving Kai a few moments to settle.

It’s rare he and I spend time alone in the room Eleri and I call ours but not unheard of.

Just as it’s not odd for one or both of us to sometimes spend time in the separate room Kai keeps in the home the three of us share in Ellison Harbor.

“Are you sure you don’t want to…”

I don’t get to finish, Kai cutting me off. “Were you trying to snoop in my belongings? You’re never going to put so much as a toe on the top rung of the stepstool again, are you, little troublemaker?”

Ugh . Even now when my mind is scattered like a handful of hay in the wind, his voice goes straight to my core, commanding every ounce of my attention when all I want to do is confront him about what he’s hiding away in those plastic bins.

“I suppose not.”

It might not have been my intention to sneak a look inside his private belongings, but I’m sure as hell thinking about it now.

His derisive snort has me stifling a giggle.

“You might be sporting a goose egg on that cute noggin, Brynn, but don’t think for a second that I won’t turn that ass rosy red if you continue to sass me.”

I squeal, trying to catapult myself off the bed. Kai’s faster, grabbing me and tackling me to the mattress as I explode into a fit of giggles. “No! I’ll never step on the top rung of the stepstool again!”

Kai might win this round, the pictures I saw pushed somewhere to the back of my mind as his fingers find their way under my shirt, tickling my sides as I squirm and squeal.

But of everything my relationships with Eleri and Kai have taught me, it’s that communication is paramount. And even if I’m afraid of confrontation, at the risk of keeping both my lovers happy, a little discomfort is worth it in the end.

Besides, even Kai and his teasing fingers can only keep me distracted from the truth for so long.